The ever-changing economy has made living in shared spaces more common nowadays. Where living alone was once the norm, it’s now considered a luxury as more people find themselves cohabitating with others to make ends meet. This can include having roommates, adults still living at home, and numerous other situations.
While cohabitating is great for your budget, it can present certain challenges, especially if you’re dating and hooking up regularly.
There are ways to live your best sex life without making things awkward, of course. You just have to study sex etiquette for shared living spaces, so you don’t disturb your co-habitants while they’re trying to get some sleep or even have a date over themselves.
Here are some tips to keep in mind:
Talk About It
If you’re already having a sexual relationship with someone or are planning to, setting aside time to talk to the other adults living in your space is essential. Let them know that sex is something you’d like to do in the space and go over some general guidelines regarding what it would take to keep everybody involved happy. In the best cases, houses and apartments have rooms that are far apart and reasonably well soundproofed. In other cases, the walls don’t buffer much of the sound, so setting a few general guidelines makes sense. Find what makes the most sense for you, and keep in mind that these guidelines can be revisited and changed later as long as you and your housemates agree.
Another thing to discuss is ensuring that everyone knocks before entering bedrooms if they have to talk to their other housemates while company is over. Again, communicating these things in advance can clear up potential miscommunications and save everyone from awkward moments.
Let Others Know In Advance When Possible
Scheduling can be much more critical for people in shared living spaces. Sometimes, people want to have company or even family over, and hearing someone else having sex during these visits is less than ideal. So if you’re planning on hooking up in your apartment, schedule the hook-up when other people are less likely to have company, like late at night. If you let them know in advance, you can get more information about everyone’s schedules and ask if it’s okay for you to have company over during these times. Some living spaces also use a shared calendar to make things even easier.
Consider Your Living Space
Living in an apartment differs from living in a large, sprawling home. If you live in an apartment, there are numerous things you can do to help buffer some of the sounds. The same goes if you’re living in a two-story home with other people. For example, if there’s a possibility people below could hear you have sex, perhaps you should consider investing in a rug to absorb some of the sounds. There are also ways to buffer the walls with decorative wall hangings and drapes.
However, one of the biggest issues is the squeaking noise that’ll likely be coming from your bed. If the dreaded bed squeak happens to you, using some metal lubricant can be massively beneficial. Also, check how your bed frame against the wall affects other people in the space. For example, if there’s someone in the bedroom next to you, and your bed frame is hitting the wall repetitively when you’re fucking, it may be time to move your bed to a different part of the room or add a little bit of a cushion between your bed and the wall. In addition, while discussing your living space, consider making the kitchen or living room off-limits for sexual encounters.
Look Into Other Spaces
If rooms are too close together, try finding other spots in the house, like the bathroom, if it’s a bit farther away. If your housemates aren’t thrilled with the idea of you having sex in communal spaces, you can also consider having sex at the other person’s house or a hotel on occasion.
If You and Your Roommate Share a Room/Dorm
Refrain from having sex in the same room as your roommate unless you have explicitly discussed it ahead of time. Yes, even if you think they’re asleep because they very well might not be. Refrain from anything that could make your roommate feel awkward or uncomfortable. Some people have more active sex lives, while others have sex less often. Whatever category you or your roommate fits into, talking things out is an integral part of living together. Consent is an essential part of the equation for both the people having sex and others who may be inhabiting the same space.
An Age-Old Question With Many Solutions
For decades and possibly even centuries, people have found creative ways to get it on despite who else they may be living with at the time. Leaving notes on the fridge and hanging a sock on the door are time-honored traditions many have used in college and beyond. While those methods still work, open communication is still the best way to keep things running smoothly.
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