Summer flings are typically full of passion, fun, beach dates, and a whole lot of sex. Whether you’ve decided it’s time to move on or want to end your friends-with-benefits (FWB) connection, ending a summer fling respectfully is always best. Plus, you never know what could happen in the future, and maybe you’ll be able to have sex with each other again, so you may as well be kind, respectful and end things on good terms.
This blog covers some steps to consider while ending things with a summer lover. Perhaps summer is coming to a close, and you’re ready to move on to other commitments or people, or maybe you don’t see the fling being anything more than what you’ve already experienced together. Also, getting rid of someone on your roster may make room for someone else with better sexual chemistry.
Learn the top tips on how to break up successfully and with respect for your fling.
Reflect on your feelings.
One tip to consider before you end the ongoing summer flirtation is to reflect on your feelings. What did you experience that you’ll never forget? Why do you want to move on? Once you understand your truth, you can have the conversation easily, understanding what you wish to express. Perhaps you want to explore casual sex with others, or you’re leaving the summer vacation hangout to return home. Reflecting on your feelings and using self-compassion to understand yourself and what you want is essential before having a breakup conversation. It will also help you be more confident that you have thought things out.
Perhaps, you would love to have one more sexual experience with your fling, or maybe you’re ready to move on completely. Learning if you want the person in your life at all is good to understand, as that may come up in the conversation. Thinking about your time with your summer fling is a highly personal process and may vary from individual to individual. Do what feels right for you to understand where you stand emotionally.
Consider what you learned from one another sexually.
Recall your favorite passionate moments during your summer affair. Make sure you bring them up with appreciation to your partner. It’s always nice to end things by discussing what turns you on about them and what was memorable for you.
Using active listening skills when conversing with your summer fling is also important, as respect can be shown by giving empathy and care while someone is being vulnerable with you. Once you understand the reason you no longer want to be involved sexually, you can make better choices about how to end it. For instance, if you and your summer fling aren’t sexually compatible, you can keep things light and honest. You may want to say, “I like this aspect of BDSM or this kink, and you seem to like the opposite.” However, by giving chances for both of you to express your emotions and perspectives, the relationship can end with dignity.
You always have the option to explore what you enjoyed with your summer fling with the new you get involved with as well.
Have an honest conversation.
Having an honest conversation is the best way to show respect to your summer fling. Chat about what made you happy and why it’s time to go your separate ways. Always be kind and gentle to the person, as they may react with pain, fear, or anger. Understand that you can hear them out and show empathy as much as possible.
A good conversation involves all parties expressing themselves and listening to others. Make sure that there is comfort in your summer fling communicating their truth and perspectives as well.
Make changes to incorporate the best elements of your connection with others when moving on. Allow for space when necessary. Every person handles situations differently. Be sure to show as much respect as possible, even if it turns negative emotionally. Get your head out of the gutter—I don’t mean sexually.
If you both can have an honest conversation and reach a resolution, maybe you’ll consider being intimate again. However, each couple is different and has a slightly different dynamic.
Establish new boundaries.
You may come to an intersection where new boundaries need to be established. Do you want to remain just friends who don’t have sex? Do you have similar friend circles? Do you mind if you see them on a date or at a sex club? Whatever you both decide is best, communicate it and find a middle ground.
Some summer flings you may never want to see or have sex with again, while with others, you may hope to run into occasionally.
Once new boundaries are agreed upon, make sure you stick to them; otherwise, confusion may arise.
Conclusion
Ending a summer fling respectfully doesn’t have to be challenging if you’re prepared to be honest and stick with your choices. It’s best to spend a little time reflecting and being honest with yourself to have the best end-of-relationship conversation possible. Use active listening to hear your partner’s perspective and show kindness even when you’re feeling upset.
Tell your summer fling what you appreciate about your time together, and end the experience of summer sex on a positive note. Be a good example to others during this honest conversation and show, by example, how to end things with care and empathy. You’ll likely feel good about how you handled it.
Also, keep in mind that you don’t want to wait too long to end things if you already know that’s what you want and how you feel. Prolonging a fling you’re no longer interested in can cause more pain than it’s worth.
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