Sexual experiences should be exciting and fulfilling for all parties involved. However, that might not be the reality if you are experiencing sexual performance anxiety.
Anxiety is one of the most common health conditions in the United States, which is why the U.S. Preventative Services Task Force recommends that adults below the age of 65 get routine screenings for the condition.
When anxiety leaks out into your sexual experiences, the enjoyment you might experience with your partner can disappear. Fortunately, there are strategies you can use to combat sexual performance anxiety.
Understanding Sexual Performance Anxiety
You must first contemplate what sexual performance anxiety is to understand how you can overcome it. Sexual anxiety is “fear, worry, or anxiety related to sexual activity.” These feelings could manifest as anxiety about your ability to perform sexually or even about the act of sex itself. It may arise from a lack of sexual experience, past traumatic sexual experiences, or because you have anxiety in general.
Research shows that sexual anxiety impacts approximately 25% of men and 16% of women. These issues could lead to extreme anxiety when trying to perform sexually, leading some to avoid sexual contact altogether.
Signs of Sexual Performance Anxiety
The signs and symptoms of sexual anxiety are something that most can identify with almost immediately. They will start to notice certain feelings emerging within themselves when they are on the verge of potentially engaging in sexual activity. A few of the symptoms that one might experience include:
- Mood Changes – Do you experience mood swings when presented with the opportunity for sexual contact? While it is normal to experience excitement at the prospect of sexual contact, if you notice that anxiety is the primary mood change, then you might have some sexual anxiety.
- Sexual Avoidance – Steering clear of sexual activity may be a sign of sexual anxiety. It is undoubtedly acceptable not to desire sexual contact at all times, but it is unusual to avoid sexual contact with your partner for a prolonged time.
Make yourself keenly aware of the potential symptoms of sexual anxiety to note if you are going through this and how you might be able to combat the symptoms.
How to Combat Sexual Performance Anxiety
As you might have guessed, sexual anxiety is a battle within the mind. Many different kinds of mental triggers might plunge you deeper into your struggle with sexual anxiety. However, there are also techniques and strategies you can use to potentially reduce the amount of stress and anxiety related to sex.
Some strategies known to combat sexual performance anxiety are:
- Deep Breathing and Meditation – Taking time out of your day to focus on your breathing is healthy for many reasons. It can reduce your blood pressure and stress levels, which is particularly useful before engaging in sexual activity if you tend to experience sexual anxiety.
- Use Self-Touch and Masturbation – Learning what feels good to you is a great way to reduce your sexual anxiety overall. When you know what feels good to you, you can minimize sexual anxiety and communicate with your partner about what feels good to you.
- Focus on Non-Sexual Touch with Your Partner – Don’t forget to focus on non-sexual touch with your partner as well. It’s an excellent way to communicate and express your love through non-sexual means. It can also help reduce your level of anxiety around sexual activity when you can focus on non-sexual physical contact as well.
- Communicate with Your Partner About Sexual Acts – It is always wise to communicate with your partner about any form of sexual activity that you may choose to engage in with them.
In many cases, it may also be necessary to speak with a professional therapist about your condition and discuss strategies you can use to reduce your sexual anxiety as a whole.
How to Support Your Sexually Anxious Partner
Sometimes, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling frustrated by a sexually anxious partner. You should do everything you can to avoid falling into this state of emotion because it ultimately does not help you or your partner deal with this set of circumstances. Instead, look at ways you can support your sexually anxious partner in all they are going through.
One thing to consider first is opening up the dialogue between yourself and your partner about sexual topics. It’s not always the easiest thing to talk about, but the only way to start feeling better is to speak honestly about your sexual feelings, desires, and more.
You can also focus on non-sexual touch between yourself and your partner, including hugs, back rubs, foot rubs, and more. That can improve intimacy while also alleviating some of the sexual anxiety experienced by either partner. Bringing down the tension is a big deal and will help you and your partner feel more at ease. It will hopefully also take some of the anxiety off of the table so that your sexual experiences can be much more enjoyable.
This process takes time, but it’s worthwhile to focus on reducing sexual anxiety so you can relax and enjoy sex!
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