Movies like “The Graduate” and “American Pie” make it seem like older women are just young women in older bodies, and as a woman in her late 40s, I can tell you that’s 100% true. I may have a few extra years behind me, but make no mistake, I’m sexier than ever and can keep up with any 22-year-old in the bedroom. But just how does a younger man get an older woman like me into the sack? Let’s just say, it’s a bit of an art form.
Cut The Nonsense
Older women have a lower threshold for nonsense because we’ve heard it all and we have heard it many times. We’re not looking for cheesy pickup lines or some guy to swoop in and act like no one has ever given us a compliment. If you’re going to give me a compliment, make it real and make it count. I would rather something like, “you have the most contagious laugh” than “I could get lost in your blue eyes.”
When I was a young lass frolicking among the fields of sexy eligible men, I would pretty much fall for any line they gave me. If someone told me I was beautiful, I would blush. If they told me they had never met a woman like me before, I believed them. Then I heard those lines over and over again and started to appreciate the more unique approaches as I got older, such as “Roses are red, violets are blue, I like peanut butter, want to fuck?” Ok, so maybe not that exact phrase, but you get the point.
Make us Laugh
Young women love to blush and feel flattered, while older women just like to laugh. In all fairness, so do younger women, they just haven’t realized it can be a faster path into sexville than cheap flattery. A man that makes me laugh will get me wet…from tears of laughter, wow what were you thinking? If you’re making me laugh then we’re sharing a connection, a moment, and something real. Making me laugh takes effort and investment on his part, plus a good sense of humor goes a long way in terms of sex appeal.
Don’t Be Boring
In my youth I could sit and talk about nothing for hours. “Nothing” was fascinating. But somewhere between 18 and 40 I found some depth. Now I need substance. If we’re making small talk, then let’s talk about the weather, sports, or what’s on Netflix. But small talk isn’t going to get me to go upstairs or go on a date, so try to have an opinion about something. You don’t necessarily have to go into your stance on politics or religion, but if you’re going to talk about Game of Thrones, discuss how it’s an allegory for our times…WOW! That sounds fascinating, and now I’m interested. Essentially, if you want me to be interested in you, you need to be interesting to me.
Older women tend to be more confident because we’re over our issues about our sexuality. We’re OK with talking about sex without feeling the need to blush, and hopefully we’ve figured out what we enjoy sexually. Because we’re more confident, we generally find ourselves more interested in confident men. The emotional wreck just isn’t as entertaining anymore — confidence is what’s really sexy.
It’s fun to think of an older woman as a cougar, and while some of us may wear the title with pride, most of us don’t really identify with it. Sure, it’s cute, but the term “cougar” puts the focus on our age, which makes us feel older. Trust me, we don’t want that. Pointing out an age difference by being overt and saying things like “Wow, you could be my mom” or “Did you know that Sting was in a band?” will just make that tiny little age gap feel like the Grand Canyon, and that’s definitely not sexy.
Young and Virile
Just because you don’t want her to feel older doesn’t mean you can’t show off the benefits of your youth. Do things for her that older men may not be able to do – it’s a great way for her to feel enlivened by you. I like it when I see a strong younger man because it makes me think they can handle me in bed, as opposed to the older counterpart who may throw out his back during one of my signature acrobat moves. Plus, it’s nice when I mention the blue pill and you think I’m talking about the Matrix.
Don’t be an A-Hole
The bad boy facade often impresses young women, but as for older woman, we’ve been there and done that. I know I’ve dated my fair share of “bad boys,” and frankly, I’m no longer interested in being strung along and treated badly by some emotionally unavailable d-bag. Be a gentleman — bringing me a flower or opening a door for me won’t compromise your masculinity. Most older women have had their fair share of a-holes and left them in the dust, so why would we want a younger version?
In college, it was funny when guys would brag about their sexcapades…unless you were the one in the story, then maybe it wasn’t so funny. As a younger woman I dealt with my fair share of sexual judgments, and I took it in stride. However, as an older woman, I’m no longer affected by people’s judgment, mainly because I just don’t care. If I’m getting laid, then I’m happy and don’t give two figs what someone has to say about it. That being said, I still don’t want a partner plastering it all over social media. My sexual satisfaction comes from the sex, not the stories about the sex. So if you’re going to sleep with an older woman, give the frat boy antics a rest and be discrete.
While older women are more confident about our sexuality, our bodies, and ourselves, we’re also pickier about who we chose as a lover. Whether it’s Mrs. Robinson or Stifler’s Mom that piqued your interest in older women, neither movie was wrong. Older women are amazing, but to get something that amazing you’ll have to work just a bit harder.
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