Dating a transgender person can be a new and rewarding experience. More and more people are concluding that what you have or even had in your pants doesn’t matter as much as the person you are inside. In this new age of discovery and self-reflection, it is becoming less taboo to date or be a transgender person. Here are some tips and tricks for successful transdating.
Everyone Has Genitals, Stop Talking About Them
There is an unusual obsession with what a trans person has in their pants. Unless your partner wants to talk about it, keep the talk about genitals private or in the bedroom. Get to know the special lady or man you want to date instead. They have feelings and lives, they have likes and dislikes and accomplishments. Ask about all of that before you ask them if they have had surgery, or if they want to have surgery. This conversation can happen naturally, and it is not usually the first thing a trans person wants to discuss on a date.
Be Sincere in Your Compliments
Complimenting someone is always nice, but always be sincere in your compliments and be careful about being backhanded. What is a backhanded compliment? “You look great for a trans person,” “You really pass as a woman,” and “No one could ever tell you are trans,” may sound ok, but they can be hurtful. People who are transitioning are a woman or a man, whatever gender they are wanting to appear as and transition too. You do not need to bring up that they are transgender unless they want to talk about it specifically. Be kind and try things like:
- You look great tonight!
- That dress looks amazing on you
Complimenting someone can be simple as long as you remember that they are people too.
Avoid Trans Myths
There are a lot of myths about trans people’s sexuality. One of the biggest myths is that trans women are transitioning to date men. This isn’t always the case. Some trans women were gay before they transitioned and are still attracted to men. This does not mean that they transitioned to trick them or be “traps.” A lot of trans women were also attracted to women and still are. This means that they identify as bisexual or lesbian. Being women now and always feeling like women, their sexuality is not something that changes. Some women are attracted to women and some women are attracted to men. Either way, their gender orientation doesn’t change their sexual orientation.
Your Sexuality Doesn’t Have to Change
When talking about sexuality and gender, especially when it comes to transdating, people assume that if you date a trans person as a man you are gay. This is not the case. Sexuality is whether you are attracted to the binary, men and women, or in-between identities like non-binary folks, gender fluid, etc. Dating a trans person doesn’t necessarily mean you are bisexual or questioning your sexuality. Dating a trans woman means you are attracted to women and can still identify as straight. Dating a trans man as a woman means you are attracted to men and can still be straight.
Porn is Great, But Don’t Use It as A Guide
Porn is fantastic. It can be used as a way to explore your fantasies and engage in things you normally would not. Check out trans porn and find some hot trans porn stars but do not let it be your guide on how sex has to go or should go with your trans date. Porn is oftentimes exaggerated and there are a lot of things that just normally wouldn’t happen on a real date. If you want to try out some fetish trans stuff, talk to your potential partner first. Know what you want and communicate that.
Communication is Key
There are a lot of trans people that want to date and others who do not mind being fetishized. Always be honest and kind when you want to date or even just have sex with a trans person. Use this advice for any person that you could have a fetish for as well. Trans people are not here just for your pleasure, but they do like to get pleasure too! Be honest and open about what you are looking for before trying to chat anyone up. Are you looking for dates? Just trying it out? Do you have a fetish? All these things are great starting points to think about and knowing the answers will make your exploration easier.
AFF Trans Community and Education
There is an amazing community on Adult FriendFinder full of trans singles that want to date, chat, give advice, and more. Signing up and logging in to AFF can open a whole new world of knowledge and possibilities. Ask transgender people questions and strike up conversations. There are trans people that want to date and there are others that just want to have sex and everything in between. If you do not want to ask strangers questions right away there are blogs written by TS Dating enthusiasts and others who date trans people. These can be stories of dates and how they went, advice, and more topics.
Before getting started, make sure you have all the information you need to make transdating a successful adventure. The bottom line is, trans people are people. They want to have fun and get to know others, date, and have sex. Joining Adult FriendFinder allows you to meet trans people, start TS dating today and become part of an open-minded community where you can learn and teach others.