Bondage has long been considered a “taboo” subject, but that all seems to be changing as of late thanks to the popular “50 Shades of Grey” series. Suddenly, the same people who once thought BDSM was dark and scary are now looking for ways to incorporate bondage into their otherwise vanilla sex lives. And while some may look to their copy of 50 Shades as a BDSM handbook, anyone in the lifestyle will tell you the series hardly does kink the justice it deserves.
Where do you start then, if you are a BDSM beginner looking to spice things up? Here are a few quick tips to get you started.
Pick a partner you trust. This could be a spouse, a lover, or your favorite friend with benefits. If you don’t have a partner but would still like to partake, try joining a site like ALT.com. There you can find partners of all experience levels who can “show you the ropes,” if you will. Best of all, there are plenty of features like instant messaging and live cam-to-cam chat to help you get to know potential play partners before you meet up.
Forget everything mainstream media has taught you. Hollywood likes to paint BDSM as nothing more than spanking and fuzzy handcuffs, but the world of bondage is way bigger than that. Go in with an open mind and don’t limit yourself to what you’ve seen on TV. Trust me, most people would take the feeling of cool steel handcuffs around their wrists over pink fuzzy novelty store cuffs any day of the week!
Pick a role. BDSM can be a great way to escape reality, so if you lack control in your everyday life you might enjoy playing the role of dom and taking charge of your sexual partner(s). If you’re the type of person who is always in control, try on the sub role and let someone else take over. If both of those things sound good to you, you can always be a switch and have the best of both worlds.
Learn from experience. While you’re on ALT.com, check out the member advice lines, groups, and blogs. There you’ll find people who have been in the lifestyle for years and have lots of wisdom to impart. This can be particularly helpful if you’re not quite sure what you’re looking for yet.
Now put down book and go have some kinky fun with your friends at ALT.com!
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