Fame can be fleeting, but a good (or bad) blowjob is forever — especially when it’s “leaked” to the public for all to enjoy. From Kim Kardashian to Blac Chyna, here’s the good, the bad, and the disgusting when it comes to D-list blowies.
Worst Celebrity Blowjobs
Blac Chyna
When video surfaced of Blac Chyna going down on former boyfriend Mechie, the internet collectively lost its damn mind over her BJ skills – or lack thereof. Basically, Chyna is laying down with a vacant look in her eyes as she whispers (whines) “baaaaaaabe, I want you to put it all the way in my mouth.” After a few short and painfully dry licks, Mechie then has Chyna hang off the side of the bed so he can fuck her face with the force of a 93-year-old man named Arthur whose dick hasn’t worked since the Bush administration. On the upside, Chyna’s nail game is on full display as she strokes the cock. Her BJ game, however, not so much.
Farrah Abraham
Pretty much everything this girl does is a complete shit show, so it comes as no surprise that her BJs are a lot like her personality – dry and painful to watch. She gives FAIL-atio several tries during her much talked about porn debut “Backdoor Teen Mom,” and like her career, they both fell flat. Farrah lazily sucks James Deen’s magnificent kickstand, and then in a nasal voice says “tell me how you like it.” After less than a minute, she then announces she’s going to grab some lube so they can like, totally do some anal or whatever! After watching this abomination, we are definitely not “friends of Farrah.”
Tonya Harding
The infamous sex tape features fallen figure skater Tonya Harding and her creepy ex-husband Jeff Gillooly celebrating their wedding night in some super classy motel like the Sleazy 8. In the clip, “iTonya” feels more like “CryTanya,” cuz that’s exactly what I wanted to do after watching this crap. In the trailer park nightmare that is this home movie, Harding is seen in poor video quality (thank God) giving one of the worst BJs in history. It’s basically six seconds of minimal head bobbing, with a few cursory “mmmm’s” thrown in for good measure. The only mildly entertaining part of this entire ordeal is the ’90s motif, complete with a tacky wedding dress and Jeff’s awesome ’stache. The whole thing reminded me of cheesy old school porn — the main difference being that at least those guys had big dicks, while Gillooly is hung like a teacup Chihuahua.
Best Celebrity Blow Jobs
Kim Kardashian
Love her or hate her, this reality star sucks a mean D. In her star making sex tape “Kim Kardashian, Superstar,” the curvaceous starlet practically sucks the soul out of mediocre rapper and then-boyfriend Ray J. With a firm grip on Ray’s impressive trouser snake, Kim gobbles his cock like a slice of avocado toast sprinkled with sea salt and a dash of Kris Jenner’s approval. Not only does she know how to work the shaft with her hands and tongue, but she also looks up several times to make sure her man is enjoying himself. No wonder Yeezy seems so much happier these days.
Karrine Steffans aka Superhead
In her first commercial release, the former hip-hop video girl goes down on porn legend Mr. Marcus with such passion that just watching it gave me lockjaw. Call it cliché, but I’m convinced she could actually suck a golf ball through a garden hose. The first scene was filmed poolside at some apartment complex, which was a little weird. I can just imagine some poor old lady zipping out to the pool for a refreshing dip after her “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” exercises, and then walking into that. Aside from the awkward location, however, the video is hot. Steffens deep throats Mr. Marcus’ BBC like a champ, paying lots of attention to his chocolate salty balls.
Nikki Delano
The Latina porn actress, Cams.com model, and social media star is known for giving super-hot, super sloppy BJs with those luscious lips of hers. In one of her early scenes, the voluptuous beauty vigorously slurps down Johnny Sins’ mutant kielbasa, even taking the time to gently motorboat his balls like the good girl she is. Some call it hot; I call it a fucking inspiration.
As good as some of these celebrities are at yaffling the yogurt cannon, we know a few people on Adult FriendFinder who put their skills to shame. Check out the advice lines for a few tips and tricks from our favorite members!
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