The brain is one of the body’s most potent sex organs. It acts as our hormone control center, where our desires begin, and our bodies learn how to respond to stimulation. Therefore, it should not come as a surprise that the link between our personality and our sexual fantasies goes hand in hand.
Read on to discover more about what your sexual fantasies may reveal about your personality (and vice versa).
What Are Sexual Fantasies?
Who hasn’t dreamed of an erotic scenario when passing by an attractive stranger or considered the pleasure of experiencing multiple partners? Whether you have HD images in your mind or vague, fleeting thoughts, sexual imaginativeness is a normal part of life. In 2018, the New York Post pointed out that 97% of people have fantasies, and many have them several times a week or per day. Before that, Doskoch’s 1995 study revealed that men have an average of 7.2 daily thoughts or fantasies about sex, compared to women who have around 4.5.
Your fantasies may be something you wish to act out, but this may not always be the case. They may stem from something you see or hear. Sometimes, our imagination runs wild, creating elaborate visions that are completely detached from the outside world. These fantasies reflect our individuality and are shaped by who we are.
You can see this when you explore the “OCEAN” model, which depicts the five major personality types. They are:
O–Openness
An open personality is curious. The person with this personality type is adventurous. They seek new experiences and push the boundaries of their creativity. Therefore, when talking about fantasies, an open person may have a large variety of both conventional and unconventional thoughts. They may also fantasize about several things without a specific preference for a theme.
C–Conscientiousness
Thoughtfulness and impulse control are characteristics that define a conscientious person. They thrive on organization and find joy in planning, leaving no detail to chance. This mindset continues into the fantasy realm. Their sexual fantasies may be very detailed, not just in the acts but in the settings in which their fantasy takes place.
E–Extraversion
The extrovert personality type thrives in social settings. They are outgoing, often initiating conversations with strangers and effortlessly making new friends. This ideology can influence their fantasies. They may fantasize about group sex settings or the idea of being involved in an open relationship.
A–Agreeableness
As the name implies, these personality traits go with the flow. They are trusting and caring. Their compassionate nature drives them to assist others, striving to bring happiness and support to anyone who needs it. Therefore, in their most desire-filled fantasies, they may focus on mutual pleasure and consent. Their fantasy isn’t so much about gaining pleasure but giving it to someone else.
N–Neuroticism
The neurotic person’s tendency to fixate on the smallest details often results in heightened stress and anxiety. They get upset easily and may have dramatic mood changes. Their desire for certainty outweighs their curiosity. Therefore, their fantasies seldom venture into uncharted territory. Instead, fantasies rarely involve trying new things or experiencing intimacy with new partners.
It is important to note that no one has just one personality trait. You may have one dominant trait with others that feels right. For example, you may be very open but feel stressed when faced with “new” situations.
Since there isn’t a “one size fits all” personality trait, there isn’t a “set in stone” fantasy list. There are no set rules or limitations. And ultimately, what you desire in your mind isn’t much different from what others are dreaming about.
Common Fantasy Themes
According to a 2018 survey of over 4,000 people, there are various reasons we indulge in fantasies. They are:
- To experience arousal: 79%
- To imagine unique experiences or sensations: 69%
- To escape reality or meet unfulfilled sexual needs: 59%
However, the “reasons” for it are as vast and varied as the kaleidoscope of themes that our minds come up with. Yet, no matter how tame or extreme our fantasies are, they still share common themes. They include:
- Multi-Partner Sex
Do you fantasize about being in a group sex setting? If so, you’re not alone! It is a common fantasy because it places “you” as the center of attention. Your mind becomes a whirlwind of sensory experiences as sights, smells, tastes, feelings, and pleasure sounds collide. The illusion created by this idea is powerful, even if we are merely watching.
- BDSM
BDSM is the second most common daydream type. It can involve consensual sexual and nonsexual situations, typically where a dominant person controls someone who is more submissive. Think of the professor who tells his student how to earn a better grade on their college finals. This fantasy can also include giving or receiving pain through whipping and other means. In all situations, it requires someone to give up control, which makes them vulnerable. This is a powerful aphrodisiac, especially for those who feel they must always be in control.
- Novelty, Adventure, and Variety
In long-term relationships, sex can become routine. Even before it starts, we anticipate the sensations, actions, and other aspects of the experience. A novelty fantasy allows us to imagine something new. Whether trying a new position or joining the Mile-High Club, exploring new pleasures can bring a sense of exhilaration to your relationship.
- Taboo Activities
One simple truth is that we all want forbidden fruit. We all want the things we cannot have, whether it’s watching someone have sex without their knowledge or exposing ourselves to someone “accidentally on purpose.” When talking about taboo or forbidden sex, the idea we might get into trouble for our actions can be a turn-on.
- Emotional Connection and Fulfillment
The longing for an emotional connection is universal. This can give rise to highly romanticized fantasies, where emphasis is placed on setting the stage for an erotic rendezvous. For instance, strolling along the beach with your partner before being loved by them on the sandy shore.
- Homoeroticism And Gender-Bending
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone else? Gender-bending is a fantasy that allows you to explore what it would be like if you could dress up or be someone else, if only for a moment, without judgment.
- Non-Monogamy
Swinging or being in an open relationship with your partner is a common fantasy for people to have. Considering most people don’t want to be caught “cheating” or lying, the idea of non-monogamy with our partner’s blessing makes it an ideal erotic daydream because it allows us to experience new partners without consequences.
Regardless of where your mind wanders, remember that it is completely normal! As a bonus, by embracing these fantasies as a part of your sexuality, you will unlock a world of new experiences, especially if you find a partner with whom you can freely share and explore them.
Discover More About Your Secret Desires
If you want to learn more about your personality type or discover how it influences your sexual fantasies, there are ways for you to do it. If you have a partner, we encourage you to share your ideas with them. Openly discussing fantasies will create a relationship where you and your partner can freely explore and learn together. And who knows, you may also discover that you have more in common than you realized.
Comments are closed