TV and film have long romanticized office romance as a thing of fantasy. Two coworkers catch each other’s eye from across the hall, maybe accidentally brushing up against one another at the water cooler. Then before you know it, they’re fucking on the copy machine after-hours and sneaking off for lunchtime romps.
But is it really that hot to hook up with a coworker despite the possibility of awkwardness should you both get caught with your pants down? As someone who has engaged in my share of office hookups, I can tell you the answer is a hard YES…as long as you know how to do it.
Now that people are returning to the office after two years of working from home, coworker hookups are sure to be on the rise. So, here are my top five tips for hooking up at work.
Keep it Quiet
It can be tempting to tell your closest work friends about how you’re banging the hot new guy in marketing but don’t. The more people who know, the more likely others will find out. And let me tell you, nothing kills the heat of an office romance faster than a strongly worded email from HR asking you to please stop fucking your office mates. You may have people at work you trust, but even the most well-intended confidant can slip up every once in a while and blow your secret.
Discuss Your Expectations
Generally, an office romance is all about sex, but make sure everyone is on the same page so no one gets hurt. It’s always a bummer when the coworker you’ve been banging for months informs you they just started seeing someone, but it’s even more of a bummer if you developed feelings for them along the way and didn’t talk about it.
Location, Location, Location
Always try to hook up off-site if you can, as that’s the best way to keep things private. Nothing is hotter than escaping the office at lunchtime for a quickie, only to later sit across from your coworker, knowing their scent is still all over you. Sometimes your urges get the best of you, though, and when that happens, make sure you pick a secure place to do it. Sure, getting bent over a desk after your department Happy Hour is fun, but it’s also risky should someone come back to the office because they forgot something.
Instead, look for places like a utility closet, a clean bathroom, or even a locker room if your workplace has a gym. I used to work in an office that had showers, and that was the best place to have a late-night romp because it was tucked away, and the doors gave an extra layer of sound protection.
Keep Work and Sex Separate
This isn’t an issue if you’re in different departments, but if you work together closely or worse yet, one of you is the other’s subordinate, you must keep those things separate. You don’t want a lover’s quarrel to turn into a work disagreement, especially when the rest of your team is present. You also don’t want to make others feel that favoritism is involved because they sense you have a personal relationship. Just try to keep it professional during work hours, and you should be fine.
Respect Each Other’s Relationships
That means no going after married or attached coworkers whose partners are unaware of what’s going on. If they are in an open marriage or relationship and have their SO’s permission, then play ball. But if either of you has a partner at home who has no clue what’s happening, you’re both asking for trouble. Wanna know a real boner-killer? When someone’s pissed off wife rolls up in the middle of the day and announces to your entire office that her husband has been cheating on her with you. I saw this happen to two former coworkers several years back, and believe me; it wasn’t pretty. Both were humiliated and, worse yet, terminated for disrupting the workplace. The husband also found himself in divorce court, and when all was said and done, both agreed their fling was not worth the risk.
Want more tips on making an office hookup work, or want to read some real member stories about fucking at the office? Check out the AdultFriendFinder.com member blogs and advice lines!
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