Three-way relationships, three-way casual sex, and even three-way friendships have recently increased in popularity. With many people hanging out in pods over the last few years, the world got even more comfortable than ever with smaller groups of people.
When those three people get together in a romantic relationship, they can be called a throuple or triad. This is different from three-way sex, or threesomes, because it looks more like a relationship than a hookup. While a throuple can be fulfilling in many ways, things can also get pretty complicated if not done right.
Luckily, there are ways to engage in an ethically non-monogamous relationship successfully. Like monogamous binary relationships, communication, honesty, tact, and respect go a long way. But, even with all that, is the third party equal to the other two?
Can the Third Party be an Equal?
In many cases, at least two people are already in a relationship and looking for a third to join them. Some of these relationships are pretty successful, while the third person feels less important in other cases, affecting the relationship itself. That’s why all parties involved have to be honest with each other.
Casual triad relationships can definitely work, though many polyamorous people are in a throuple and all seriously dating each other. However, it is more likely for polyamorous people to be dating different people who are not dating the same person they are. The third party in a throuple can be equal to the others, though it takes a lot of communication, awareness, and proactivity.
The Basics of How These Relationships Can Work
While rules and terms tend to come up in most relationships, many successful throuple relationships allow people to have alone time as individual couples and time with all three people together. In addition, there are many beneficial parts of being in a relationship with multiple people, including financial benefits when these people are living together.
Sometimes, not everyone has to work full-time, which can be beneficial when starting a family and decreasing stress. Likewise, not having to pay for as many things provides benefits, though it’s essential to focus on mitigating potential jealousy and resentment. Each person deals with these things in different ways, so it’s crucial to have a serious discussion before the relationship begins.
Get Your Planners Ready
Most successful throuple relationships involve excellent communication and some planning. Keeping up with each person in the relationship, and being aware of their needs, wants, and desires can take time and energy. The best part is multiple people are filling these needs. Having a planner can be a great idea, and there are many fantastic options for communication, including group calendars so everyone can see what’s going on with everyone else. Honesty within the relationship is particularly essential, especially if an open marriage is involved. It’s also common for some couples who start in an open marriage to end up in a throuple if they meet someone they vibe with really well.
Does Cheating Still Happen?
People in triad relationships can still cheat if they and the third party do something that steps outside of the boundaries everyone agreed to previously. Different dynamics can be involved with throuple relationships, and the format for these dynamics needs to be communicated. Rather than being a couple who is seeing one person and keeping them at a distance, be open to a deeper love. Keep in mind that if one person decides to break up with one of the other people involved, not all the relationships have to end. Being open-minded, understanding, and aware is vital to strive for early on.
It Doesn’t Have to Be Make or Break
When a couple tries adding another person to the relationship, it doesn’t have to be a make-or-break thing if it doesn’t work out between two parties. Instead, it can be something the triad tries out with the understanding that it might not last for all three people. The people involved can end up in any relationship configuration, and it can change a bit while everyone is still ironing out the details.
Practicing safe sex is always important, and each smaller couple within the triad needs to have enough time to grow meaningful relationships with one another. Always hanging out as a trio can make it more difficult for the relationship to stay strong. People are attracted to different elements of each other, and being able to explore these elements is ideal. It’s also true that not all people will be in the mood for sex simultaneously, so the sexual and physical aspects of relationships should also have some flexibility to them.
Managing Jealousy is Important
Managing jealousy is also essential, and each person must be willing and able to voice their concerns and feelings positively. Keeping up communication when you’re going out on dates with just one person is also important, as it can help minimize jealousy. Communicate your jealousy, accept your fears and annoyances, be aware of negative feelings, and acknowledge that a lot of the negativity found in relationships, including throuple relationships, stems from societal constructs and norms more than anything else.
Acknowledge Feelings and Revisit the Relationship
It’s natural to have feelings of jealousy and other negative emotions within a relationship. Acknowledge the feelings that other people are having, and when needed, revisit the relationship to see how it’s working for all people involved. Strong couples make adjustments over time, learning more about what makes them work and realizing that sometimes people change as they grow older.
Recognizing that each person has their own relationship with each person in the throuple is important, and sometimes these relationships evolve. All parties in a triad need to have a strong bond, which is one of many ways to mitigate potential jealousy.
Feeling confident in your relationships can translate into less jealousy, so focus on making each individual relationship strong. This takes communication, awareness, tact, and time. Many throuple relationships don’t last, which can be due to power imbalances. Knowing how to fix it and when it is time to bow out if that time comes is important. However, note that many monogamous relationships also don’t work out, so if your throuple or triad fizzles, you can continue looking for other options!
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