Tag: bdsm for beginners

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Pain & Impact Play for Beginners

BDSM has many elements, and one of the most exciting is pain and impact play. If you’re new to the scene and want a few tips before you dive into the world of pain and impact play, here’s a quick lesson to get you started.

BDSM for Beginners

Let’s start with the basics. First, we have spanking, usually done with a bare hand. There are many positions for spanking, but the most favored is probably over the knee, or “OTK,” which you can typically find in many domestic and naughty school/ professor scenes. If you have a spanking fetish, then be prepared for a red ass and maybe even some bruising, but don’t worry too much as you can always use arnica gel to heal them faster.

Tools That Get the Job Done

Now let’s move on to implements you can use to turn someone’s butt red and make them moan. Floggers, for example, are a popular implement of torment. The medieval term for flogger is “scourge,” and yes, these toys did have religious implications at one time. However, the “scourge” was initially used to harvest wheat in Ancient Egypt, not beat people up for fun in the bedroom. It wasn’t until the Middle Ages that floggers were used as a punishment for those who veered from the path of “rightiousness.” These days, floggers are used more for fun than anything else, and there are lots of different varieties. There are soft ones made of lush materials like deerskin, hard ones made from rough shoelaces, and even chains.

A single tail whip is probably the most recognizable implement of torture, thanks to that heroic movie character from the 80s who cracked his whip to intimidate his foes. It’s usually smaller than a bullwhip but long enough to cause fear. The great thing about a single tail is you can control the distance between you and the other person, thus giving them greater or lesser amounts of pain as you see fit. However, it does require a bit of skill to use, so make sure you get a quick lesson beforehand. 

A Quirt is like a single tail, except it has two tails on its end instead of one. Double the fun!

A Tawse is a Scottish implement of torment once used to punish people who weren’t following the rules. It’s a strip of leather split into two that makes a nice slapping sound against the butt.

When all else fails and your hand gets tired, you can always use a belt. The mere sound of a belt slipping through the loops of their dominant’s pants is enough to make a submissive shudder with anticipation. Just be sure not to hit them with the buckle, and remember to fold the belt in half for maximum control.

A Cat-O-Nine Tails is a cross between a flogger and a whip. It has a bunch of ends but a thick handle similar to a single tail. It can pack quite a punch, but it’s also fun to play and experiment with. 

There’s also a Dragontail which is pretty great for beginners because it’s one long piece of triangle fabric you can unleash onto your willing subs.

When you don’t know what to hit someone with, you could also try a flip flop. In Hispanic cultures, this is often called La Chancla. Whatever you call it, it’s a fun way to hit someone with an object that you probably already have lying around your house. Other people have used a slipper or a soft sneaker to hit someone’s bottom for fun, though we recommend you not use something you wear in public on someone’s bare ass.

Finally comes the “big daddy” when it comes to hitting people — the cane. This device is a rod, also known as a switch. In the olden days, people used real tree branches, but now they are rods made of bamboo, metal, and other materials. There are even some rubber ones that pack quite a punch. These items are sure to leave a mark, so make sure to touch in with your sub before you mark them.

Safety First

If you want to get into these types of play, you should start by finding an experienced play partner to show you the ropes. Pain and impact play is fun, but you have to do it properly to prevent serious injury. 

Next, do your research on the safety aspects, as there are certain parts of the body you shouldn’t hit and others that are just fine to lash. For example, you want to avoid the lower back area where the kidneys are and some other sensitive areas. Then, when you play safely, you’ll feel even more confident in your abilities, and you’ll have more fun than you ever expected! That makes it SO much hotter.

Get Started

If you’re a kinkster or a kinkster in training, log in to your Adult FriendFinder or ALT account now to find a play partner. While you’re at it, check out the member advice lines for tips on how to get started!

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Pain is Pleasure – Spanking for BDSM Beginners

Photo is for illustrative purposes only.

BDSM has many elements, and one of the most exciting is pain and impact play. There are many ways to do this and it’s hard to even know where to begin, but luckily the ALT.com community is a great resource for anyone who wants to learn. The members are so welcoming and they love to experiment with anyone, whether it’s a newbie or a pro  with lots of experience. If you’re new to the scene and want a few tips before you dive in to the world of BDSM, here’s a quick lesson to get you started.

BDSM for Beginners

Let’s start with the basics: first we have spanking, which is something that’s usually done with a bare hand. There are many positions for spanking but the most favored is probably over the knee, or “OTK.” This is found in many domestic and naughty school/ professor scenes. If you have a spanking fetish then be prepared for a red ass and maybe even some bruising, but don’t worry too much as you can always use arnica gel to heal them faster.

The Right Tools for the Job

Now let’s move on to implements you can use to turn someone’s butt red and make them moan with pain. There’s a flogger, which is a popular implement of torment. The medieval term for flogger is “scourge” and yes, these toys did have religious implications at one time. However, it actually got its start in Ancient Egypt when it was used to help harvest wheat, not beat people up for fun in the bedroom. It wasn’t until the Middle Ages that it was used as a punishment for people who veered from the path that was deemed “proper.” These days, floggers are used more for fun than anything else, and they can be found in lots of different varieties. There are soft ones made of lush materials like deerskin, hard ones made from rough shoelaces, and even chains!

A single tail whip is probably the most recognizable implement of torture thanks to that heroic movie character from the 80s who cracked his whip to intimidate his foes. It’s usually smaller than a bullwhip, but long enough to cause fear. The great thing about a single tail is you can control the distance between you and the other person, thus giving them greater or lesser amounts of pain as you see fit. It does require a bit of skill to use, however, so make sure you get a quick lesson beforehand. A Quirt is like a single tail except it has two tails on the end of it instead of one. Double the fun!

A Tawse is a Scottish implement of torment that was used to punish people who weren’t following the rules. It’s hard to imagine that punishment being put onto someone in real life, but when you think about it in a hot and sexy manner you can get pretty worked up over it. It’s basically a strip of leather split into two that makes a nice slapping sound against the butt.

When all else fails and your hand gets tired you can just use a belt. Just the sound of a belt slipping through the loops of their dominant’s pants is enough to make a lot of people cream themselves with anticipation. Just be sure not to hit them with the buckle, and remember to fold the belt in half for maximum control.

A Cat-O-Nine Tails is a cross between a flogger and a whip. It has a bunch of ends but a thick handle similar to a single tail. It can pack quite a punch, but it’s also fun to play and experiment with. There’s also a Dragontail which is pretty great for beginners because it’s one long piece of triangle fabric that can be unleashed onto your willing subs.

When you don’t know what to hit someone with you could also try a flip flop. In Hispanic cultures this is often called “La Chancla.” Whatever you call it, it’s a fun way to hit someone with an object that you probably already have lying around your house. Other people have used a slipper or a soft sneaker to hit someone’s bottom for fun, though we recommend you not use something you wear in public on someone’s bare ass.

Finally comes the “big daddy” when it comes to hitting people — the cane. This is a rod also known as a switch. In the olden days people used to use real tree branches but now they are rods made of bamboo, metal, and other materials. There are even some rubber ones which pack quite a punch. These items are sure to leave a mark so make sure to touch in with your sub before you mark them.

Safety First

If you want to get into these types of play you should first meet someone to play with on a site like AdultFriendFinder.com or ALT.com. Then you should research the safety aspects, as there are certain parts of the body you shouldn’t hit and others that are just fine to lash. For example, you want to avoid the lower back area where the kidneys are and some other sensitive areas too. When you play safely you’ll feel even more confident in your abilities and you’ll have even more fun than you ever expected! That makes it SO much hotter.

Get Started

If you’re looking to turn pain into pleasure, sign up for one of the sites in the FriendFinder network. If you’re a kinkster then you’ll probably most resonate with ALT.com as this is where the freaks usually come to hang out. Of course “freak” is the most endearing term for people like us who love to play dark sex games! Those who loves bondage, BDSM, corporal punishment and more are all here looking for playmates. Don’t you wanna have some fun? Sign up now and get started on your BDSM journey.