Tag: sex in the USA

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The Top 6 US Cities for Swingers

Whether you live in the United States or are just deciding where to visit the next time you’re across the pond, these are the top cities to visit, according to real swingers. 

Sure, there are plenty of swinger guides out there, but you can’t always trust those recommendations. Many are funded by groups that promote bias towards certain areas as swinger capitals to take advantage of tourist dollars. On the other hand, our guide is written by Adult FriendFinder members who aim to help swingers find the best parties and the most exciting hookup events nationwide.

6 Portland, OR

Commonly referred to as “the place where 30 year olds go to retire,” Portland, OR, was recently put on the map by the popular comedy series Portlandia. Long before that, the city was mainly known for three things: the best bookstore in the country, Voodoo Doughnut, and a massive number of swingers in a relatively small population. If you visit Portland and talk to a dozen people during your vacation, you’ll probably have spoken with 8 or 9 swingers along the way.

5 Los Angeles, CA

Los Angeles is a great swinger city for entirely different reasons. The place is packed full of aspiring actresses, singers, dancers, and models, all staying in terrific shape as they pursue a career in the entertainment industry. Many of those same people are blowing off a little steam at swinger parties all around the valley as well. Who knows, that guy or girl you met last week at a backyard orgy may soon be the celeb you see on television every week.

4 Chicago, IL

The windy city got its name from the strong air currents coming from nearby lakes, but the huge buildings aren’t the only thing getting blown in Chi-town. A great group of swingers lives in Chicago, and many traveling circuit parties go through the town from time to time. But what caught our attention was how much more organized the swinger events seem to be. It’s so easy to find swinger events online and then head out for a night or weekend of fantastic sex soon after.

3 Albuquerque, NM

The ABQ may not be the first place that comes to mind among people new to the poly lifestyle, but there is now (and always has been) a thriving swinger community in New Mexico. Maybe it’s the green chili in the food, or perhaps it’s the wide-open spaces that lead residents to yearn for adventure – in any case, Albuquerque is a place you should definitely consider visiting. 

2 Las Vegas, NV

Known for the glitz and opulence of huge casinos, fancy clubs, and showgirls, the famous saying what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas applies to your swinging life as well. It’s a big city with plenty of sexy people and even sexier parties going on at all hours of the day and night. 

1 New York, NY

The decline of the Big Apple was vastly overstated in so many ways, including the swinging lifestyle. New York has always had everything because it has a massive population and so many exciting venues to meet people. From Central Park to private parties in swanky Park Place penthouse apartments, there is always ample opportunity to meet others seeking no strings attached arrangements, dates, and group hookups in the Empire State and its central hub of Manhattan.

What are some of your favorite cities to visit as members of the sex and swinging community?

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The Top Five LGBTQ+ Friendly Cities in the US

June is Pride Month, which makes this a great time to look at the top LGBTQ+ friendly cities of the world. Fortunately, we live in an era when gender and sexual orientation are much more fluid and far more accepted than ever before. Still, while some communities could best be described as “tolerant” of LGBTQ+ people, the cities below are the friendliest thanks to the consistent effort of LGBTQ+ and allies. Here are the top five places that have diligently worked to be welcoming places for everyone to visit!

5 Provincetown, MA

The small coastal town of Provincetown, Massachusetts, hasn’t gotten much fanfare or been featured in films and books as often as other travel destinations. Still, it’s been a bastion of support for the LGBTQ+ community and allies for decades. Gorgeous beaches and several yearly gatherings celebrate pride all year long while providing the perfect weekend getaway for everyone looking to enjoy the east coast together.

4 Fire Island, NY

Just a short ferry ride from Long Island, the Fire Island community is segmented into smaller neighborhoods on the island. Among them are two of the most LGBTQ+ friendly places on Earth. The Pines is a well-to-do community of beautiful beachfront houses often rented out by celebrities and fashion moguls for the summer. On the other hand, Cherry Grove provides a more down-to-earth locale for many looking to soak in the sun all day and dance their hearts out at the club all night.

3 Albuquerque, NM

The ABQ isn’t exactly a thriving community of LGBTQ+ people, though plenty reside here, to be sure. However, what landed this New Mexico hub on our list was the “accept everyone” attitude that is so pervasive. It’s a place where allies of all kinds coexist and welcome everyone with open arms, regardless of what pronouns you prefer or orientation you happen to feel is right for you.

2 Las Vegas, NV

It’s fair to say that in Las Vegas, people “just don’t care about anyone’s orientation.” While that may seem harsh to hear at first, when you think about it, that’s exactly what the LGBTQ+ movement has always been about. Las Vegas has reached the point we hope all communities eventually achieve – a status where the orientation of any person is a complete after-thought, and the focus is on the merits of an individual rather than stereotypes.

1 San Francisco, CA

The first choice was obvious from the start, wasn’t it? Back in the day, San Francisco benefited greatly by becoming one of the first cities to openly accept everyone and encourage people to be open about who they are without judgment. That is what built a burgeoning business community of creative, forward-thinking execs and a nightlife that many agree is simply better than any other. As the globe has learned acceptance, SF continues to serve as a shining example of what inclusion means and what it can do for the greater culture.

Of course, what makes these places so special is the people, so if you want to make friends with some locals before you visit, check out Adult FriendFinder groups and make friends with amazing, sex-positive people from all around the world!

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Is the United States More Sexually Repressed Than Other Countries?

There’s a longstanding belief that the United States is more uptight about sex than other countries. That may not be entirely true, especially in some subcultures in the States (we see you, kinksters), but there is some truth to nearly every cliché, so let’s explore where this one got its start.

1 The Puritans Founded The Colonies

We’ll spare you the history lesson, but you may recall that when the colonies first started in America, it wasn’t a bunch of wild sex addicts who decided to voyage over to the new continent. In fact, many who made the journey were devoutly religious and very repressed. Those social norms set in quickly and remain in many communities as remnants of colonial times.

In contrast, look at Australia, which got its starting population at least in part by serving as a penal colony for wayward criminals. Let there be no doubt, criminals and miscreants know a lot more about having adventurous sex than puritans and religious sects. 

That could be why we see things like prudish former Attorney General John Ashcroft wasting $8,000 of taxpayer money to cover up the breasts of a statue on public land while things like sex education are often left out of public school curriculums. Never mind the fact that they have been proven time and again to reduce unwanted pregnancies and curtail the spread of STIs from one ignorant student to the next.

2. Do We Like Guns More Than Vaginas?

That sentiment may sound strange, but the stats seem to suggest it’s true. According to reports, the average American will see 200,000 violent acts and witness 16,000 murders on T.V. by the time they reach the age of 18. Yet, if they see one nip-slip during a Superbowl halftime show, puritanical hysteria becomes immediately palpable. 

Video games like “Grand Theft Auto” don’t just allow violent behavior; the entire game is based on rewarding it. But when the game gets released and wants to reach a broad audience, they have to be most careful about any depiction of nudity or sexual activity?

3. Public Displays of Affection Are Often Shunned

Non-sexual physical contact has a profound impact on our emotional and physical well-being, according to a mountain of research. Being isolated or unable to enjoy human contact can destroy a person inside and out. Just the simplest things like holding hands, a casual hug, or a kiss on the cheek cause hormonal upticks in all the chemical compounds that cause humans to feel happy – yet Americans often avoid more than just making eye contact.

Especially in the pandemic era where you hardly ever see people greet each other with a hug, and handshakes have been replaced with a less affectionate display like a fist bump or a polite wave from across the room.

Meanwhile, Europeans are known for a double-kiss hello on each check and are fond of displaying their affection openly with others. As a result, there is far less stigma about being affectionate in public, and people wouldn’t even think twice about seeing a couple kissing passionately on a park bench.

4. Abortion Issues 

Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, the idea that some common ground must exist seems pretty plain to the rest of the world. But, of course, much of the world believes each person should make these kinds of decisions for themselves. Still, even in places where society is interested in steering those decisions one way or another, you aren’t seeing terrorists blowing up health care clinics and displaying massive posters with graphic photos of discarded embryos for their chilling effect.

Only in the United States have we politicized the pregnancy process to the point where most people aren’t even willing to have a civil conversation with others about it. That leads to intellectual stagnation, repression and eventually seeps into all other aspects of a culture. Beyond making the problem of unwanted pregnancies impossible to solve, it also has a clear impact on causing our society to be much more uptight sexually. Some would argue that is the desired result and that abortion is just a vehicle to achieve that more insidious goal.

5. Our preference for circumcision.

Though male circumcision rates have declined in the U.S. over the last decade, the voluntary surgery remains common, with more than one and a half million penises being clipped every year. In Europe, circumcision is rare and generally frowned upon for many reasons. Some argue uncircumcised men have more sensation in their genitalia than circumcised men, and many believe the natural look of a penis is simply more pleasurable. 

Still, the notion that your genitals require adjustment by a doctor within a week of your birth sets quite a tone for society to carry forward throughout the rest of your life as well. 

There Are Some Silver Lining Benefits to Sexual Repression

It wouldn’t be fair to overlook the one shining example of a silver lining when it comes to sexual repression. The mere fact that something is prohibited or frowned upon also makes it sexy in many cases. Things like BDSM, or even Anal sex, have thrived in American culture largely because many considered them taboo. Until recently, gay sex, interracial sex, and trans sex were pushed out of the mainstream, and each found a home in subcultures that turned these closed-minded views into fuel for passionate adventures. If you want proof of that, just see what’s going on with all the sexually open-minded people on Adult FriendFinder. 

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Why is the USA more conservative about sex than other countries?

It has long been believed that the USA is more uptight about sex than the swinging E.U. and many other countries worldwide. That may not be entirely true, and certainly not among some subcultures in the States (yes, we hear you kinksters, and we care), but there is some truth to nearly every cliché, so let’s take a look at the origins of this uptight label.

1 Right From The Start Puritans Founded The Colonies

Without a long boring history lesson, you may recall that when the colonies first started in America, it wasn’t a bunch of wild sex addicts who decided to voyage over to the new continent. Instead, many of the people who made the journey were devotedly religious and ridiculously repressed. Those social norms set in quickly and remain in many communities as remnants of colonial times.

In contrast, look at a place like Australia, which got its starting population at least in part by serving as a penal colony for wayward criminals. Let there be no doubt, criminals and miscreants know a lot more about having adventurous sex than puritans and religious sects. 

That’s why people like prudish former Attorney General John Ashcroft spend $8,000 of taxpayer money to cover up the breasts of a statue on public land. And why things like real sex education are often left out of public school curriculums even though they have been proven time and again to reduce unwanted pregnancies and curtail the spread of STIs.

2. We Like Violence More Than Vaginas

That sentiment may sound strange, but the stats seem to suggest it’s true. According to reports, the average American will see 200,000 violent acts and witness 16,000 murders on T.V. by the time they reach the age of 18. Still, if they see one nip-slip during a Superbowl halftime show, puritanical hysteria becomes immediately palpable. 

Video games like Grand Theft Auto don’t just allow violent behavior; the entire game rewards it. Yet when the studio releases a new game and wants to reach a wider audience, they are far more cautious about nudity than violence. 

3. Public Displays of Affection Are Often Shunned

Non-sexual physical contact has a profound impact on the emotional and physical well-being of every person, according to a mountain of research. Being isolated or unable to enjoy human contact can destroy a person inside and out. Just the simplest things like holding hands, a casual hug, or a kiss on the cheek cause hormonal upticks in all the chemical compounds that cause humans to feel happy – yet Americans often avoid more than just making eye contact.

Especially in the pandemic era, you hardly ever see anyone hug someone else, hello, and handshakes are often discarded in favor of less affectionate displays like a fist bump or a polite wave from across the room.

Meanwhile, Europeans are known for a double-kiss hello on each check and are fond of displaying their affection openly with others. As a result, there is far less stigma about being affectionate in public, and people wouldn’t even think twice about seeing a couple kissing passionately on a park bench.

4. The Mishandling of Abortion Issues 

Whether you’re pro-life or pro-choice, the idea that some common ground must exist seems pretty plain to the rest of the world. Of course, much of the world believes each person should make these kinds of decisions for themselves. Still, even in places where society is interested in steering those decisions one way or another, you aren’t seeing terrorists blowing up health care clinics and displaying massive posters with graphic photos of discarded embryos for their chilling effect.

Only in the United States have we politicized the pregnancy process to the point where most people aren’t even willing to have a civil conversation with others about it. That quiet leads to intellectual stagnation, repression and eventually seeps into all other aspects of a culture. Beyond making the unwanted pregnancy issue impossible to solve, it also has a clear impact on causing our society to be much more uptight sexually. Some would argue that is the result that some want to see the most and that abortion is just a vehicle for them to achieve that more insidious goal.

5. Our preference for circumcision.

Though male circumcision rates have declined in the U.S. over the last decade, voluntary surgery remains common, with more than one and a half million penises being clipped every year. In Europe, circumcision is rare and generally frowned upon for many reasons. Some argue uncircumcised men have more sensation in their genitalia than circumcised men, and many believe the natural look of a penis is simply more pleasurable. 

Still, the notion that your genitals require adjustment by a doctor within a week of your birth sets quite a tone for society to carry forward throughout the rest of your life as well. 

There Are Some Benefits to Sexual Repression

It wouldn’t be fair to overlook the one shining example of a silver lining when it comes to sexual repression. The mere fact that something is prohibited or frowned upon also makes it sexy in many cases. Things like BDSM, or even Anal sex, have thrived in American culture largely because many considered them taboo. Until recently, gay sex, interracial sex, and trans sex were pushed out of the mainstream, and each found a home in subcultures that turned these closed-minded views into fuel for passionate adventures. If you want proof of that, take a look at how long people have been enjoying sexual freedom on Adult FriendFinder!