Author: Angel Rios

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Discover the Link Between Personality and Sexual Fantasies

The brain is one of the body’s most potent sex organs. It acts as our hormone control center, where our desires begin, and our bodies learn how to respond to stimulation. Therefore, it should not come as a surprise that the link between our personality and our sexual fantasies goes hand in hand.

Read on to discover more about what your sexual fantasies may reveal about your personality (and vice versa).

What Are Sexual Fantasies?

Who hasn’t dreamed of an erotic scenario when passing by an attractive stranger or considered the pleasure of experiencing multiple partners? Whether you have HD images in your mind or vague, fleeting thoughts, sexual imaginativeness is a normal part of life. In 2018, the New York Post pointed out that 97% of people have fantasies, and many have them several times a week or per day. Before that, Doskoch’s 1995 study revealed that men have an average of 7.2 daily thoughts or fantasies about sex, compared to women who have around 4.5.

Your fantasies may be something you wish to act out, but this may not always be the case. They may stem from something you see or hear. Sometimes, our imagination runs wild, creating elaborate visions that are completely detached from the outside world. These fantasies reflect our individuality and are shaped by who we are.

You can see this when you explore the “OCEAN” model, which depicts the five major personality types. They are:

O–Openness

An open personality is curious. The person with this personality type is adventurous. They seek new experiences and push the boundaries of their creativity. Therefore, when talking about fantasies, an open person may have a large variety of both conventional and unconventional thoughts. They may also fantasize about several things without a specific preference for a theme.

C–Conscientiousness

Thoughtfulness and impulse control are characteristics that define a conscientious person. They thrive on organization and find joy in planning, leaving no detail to chance. This mindset continues into the fantasy realm. Their sexual fantasies may be very detailed, not just in the acts but in the settings in which their fantasy takes place.

E–Extraversion

The extrovert personality type thrives in social settings. They are outgoing, often initiating conversations with strangers and effortlessly making new friends. This ideology can influence their fantasies. They may fantasize about group sex settings or the idea of being involved in an open relationship.

A–Agreeableness

As the name implies, these personality traits go with the flow. They are trusting and caring. Their compassionate nature drives them to assist others, striving to bring happiness and support to anyone who needs it. Therefore, in their most desire-filled fantasies, they may focus on mutual pleasure and consent. Their fantasy isn’t so much about gaining pleasure but giving it to someone else.

N–Neuroticism

The neurotic person’s tendency to fixate on the smallest details often results in heightened stress and anxiety. They get upset easily and may have dramatic mood changes. Their desire for certainty outweighs their curiosity. Therefore, their fantasies seldom venture into uncharted territory. Instead, fantasies rarely involve trying new things or experiencing intimacy with new partners.

It is important to note that no one has just one personality trait. You may have one dominant trait with others that feels right. For example, you may be very open but feel stressed when faced with “new” situations.

Since there isn’t a “one size fits all” personality trait, there isn’t a “set in stone” fantasy list. There are no set rules or limitations. And ultimately, what you desire in your mind isn’t much different from what others are dreaming about.

Common Fantasy Themes

According to a 2018 survey of over 4,000 people, there are various reasons we indulge in fantasies. They are:

  • To experience arousal: 79%
  • To imagine unique experiences or sensations: 69%
  • To escape reality or meet unfulfilled sexual needs: 59%

However, the “reasons” for it are as vast and varied as the kaleidoscope of themes that our minds come up with. Yet, no matter how tame or extreme our fantasies are, they still share common themes. They include:

  1. Multi-Partner Sex

Do you fantasize about being in a group sex setting? If so, you’re not alone! It is a common fantasy because it places “you” as the center of attention. Your mind becomes a whirlwind of sensory experiences as sights, smells, tastes, feelings, and pleasure sounds collide. The illusion created by this idea is powerful, even if we are merely watching.

  1.   BDSM

BDSM is the second most common daydream type. It can involve consensual sexual and nonsexual situations, typically where a dominant person controls someone who is more submissive. Think of the professor who tells his student how to earn a better grade on their college finals. This fantasy can also include giving or receiving pain through whipping and other means. In all situations, it requires someone to give up control, which makes them vulnerable. This is a powerful aphrodisiac, especially for those who feel they must always be in control.

  1.   Novelty, Adventure, and Variety

In long-term relationships, sex can become routine. Even before it starts, we anticipate the sensations, actions, and other aspects of the experience. A novelty fantasy allows us to imagine something new. Whether trying a new position or joining the Mile-High Club, exploring new pleasures can bring a sense of exhilaration to your relationship.

  1. Taboo Activities

One simple truth is that we all want forbidden fruit. We all want the things we cannot have, whether it’s watching someone have sex without their knowledge or exposing ourselves to someone “accidentally on purpose.” When talking about taboo or forbidden sex, the idea we might get into trouble for our actions can be a turn-on.

  1.   Emotional Connection and Fulfillment

The longing for an emotional connection is universal. This can give rise to highly romanticized fantasies, where emphasis is placed on setting the stage for an erotic rendezvous. For instance, strolling along the beach with your partner before being loved by them on the sandy shore.

  1.   Homoeroticism And Gender-Bending

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone else? Gender-bending is a fantasy that allows you to explore what it would be like if you could dress up or be someone else, if only for a moment, without judgment.

  1.   Non-Monogamy

Swinging or being in an open relationship with your partner is a common fantasy for people to have. Considering most people don’t want to be caught “cheating” or lying, the idea of non-monogamy with our partner’s blessing makes it an ideal erotic daydream because it allows us to experience new partners without consequences.

Regardless of where your mind wanders, remember that it is completely normal! As a bonus, by embracing these fantasies as a part of your sexuality, you will unlock a world of new experiences, especially if you find a partner with whom you can freely share and explore them.

Discover More About Your Secret Desires

If you want to learn more about your personality type or discover how it influences your sexual fantasies, there are ways for you to do it. If you have a partner, we encourage you to share your ideas with them. Openly discussing fantasies will create a relationship where you and your partner can freely explore and learn together. And who knows, you may also discover that you have more in common than you realized.

 

 

 

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How to Woo a Woman Via the Message Center and Instant Messaging

When you hear that Adult FriendFinder is the place to meet other like-minded singles or couples, you might feel like all that happens effortlessly, and the moment anyone puts up a profile, they instantly have new hot dates planned for them every day of the week. The truth is, dating online is easier, but you need to bring your “A” Game if you want hot playmates to share intimate moments with any day or night of the week.

Read Her Profile Word for Word

So many newbies make the classic mistake of just skimming someone’s profile or looking only at the pictures. They invested the time and energy into telling you all about them, which goes much deeper than just Age, Gender, and Location. If you take the time to read what they wrote, you can learn a whole lot about them before you ever say hello.

That way, when you send that first instant message or message center email to them, you can make it personal and target it to earn their affection – instead of just copying and pasting a bunch of generic “hey babe you around” messages that go nowhere.

Put yourself in her shoes and imagine she checks her messages. A hot girl like her is likely getting a bunch of new messages every day – one after another complimenting her tits or asking if she wants to see some dick pics. Why not be the person who tries to connect on a much more meaningful level?

What if you said, “Hey, I noticed in your profile that you are a hockey fan, and in one of your photos you were wearing a Kraken jersey. You wouldn’t happen to be from Seattle originally would you? I know you said you want to meet people in Vegas, and I’m local here in town, but I love the Pacific Northwest and have been up there plenty of times so we may have a lot in common…”

That sort of deeper, more personal message shows you are paying attention and are looking at her as more than just another conquest you can notch on your bedpost body count.

Always Be Polite Even (and Especially) When There is No Connection

You can think of your time on Adult FriendFinder as a spider thinks about spinning a web. They don’t make their web to catch one particular target. They build it to span out and catch all the available targets that interest them. When you meet someone on Adult FriendFinder, there is a good chance they have already dated plenty of other people in the community, and even if they don’t match well with you, they may know others who do.

Just by being polite and showing what a gentleman or lady you are, it’s not just the person you are messaging who you are appealing to – it’s also everyone else they know online or in person. You want every person you message to either become your new playmate or an advocate willing and able to help you find other new playmates you can enjoy.

For example, let’s imagine you chat with a great girl, but she isn’t all that into feet, and feet are your go-to turn-on for so many reasons. She isn’t suddenly going to develop a fetish for pedicures and perfect arches, and you aren’t about to stop seeking out a girl with the perfectly scented pair of track sneakers.  So, take it all in stride, be fun about it, and you may find out her roommate loves footjobs, or some other girl she dated last week didn’t work out because she was all about feet, too. Why waste your chance to expand your web when you could make every message count more than once?

Rude or Crude DMs Rarely Work, But Fun and Flirty People Are Always Welcome

There is no shortage of dudes willing to fire off a fresh set of dick picks. Any halfwit can type “NICE TITS” in ALL CAPS as the subject of an email. If it worked, sexy people to play with would swarm those guys… but as you already know, they aren’t swarmed by anything other than loneliness.

Start slower, take your time, and ease into anything sexual. It’s fun to flirt and share some intimacy before you get down to asking for a late-night booty call. You’ll get there. The people on Adult FriendFinder are just like you. They are here because they DO want to meet people in person for no-strings-attached relationships and casual sexual encounters. Just give them a chance to become receptive before you start unzipping yourself and ask, “what are we going to do about this?”

Wooing your new love interest is easy. Be yourself and follow this simple advice to turn a few minutes a day online into more hours of sex than you can count.

 

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How to Get Someone’s Attention Using Dating Profile Photos

A picture says a thousand words, and when it comes to online dating, it can say a trillion words. So, when you are putting together your Adult FriendFinder dating profile, how can you use photos to gain the right kind of attention?

For starters, if you are reading this article, there is a good chance you are not a professional photographer – which is fantastic. In fact, even the best pro photographers go out of their way to make dating profile pics look authentic and amateur. People seeking to find an oil painting are looking for fine art, but dating enthusiasts want to see the real you, and that isn’t a filtered and touched-up photo that makes your skin look like it was painted on plastic.

The first and most important thing to know about making good profile pics is that people want to see what you really look like and get a feel for who you are in real life—because they are deciding to meet you in real life, not in some Snapchat-filtered alternate timeline.

Consider the Whole Photo, Not Just Your Face

If you have a sexy pic of yourself that you really like, but there is a garbage truck full of waste on the street behind you, that image isn’t going to send the right message, no matter how good your smile looked that day. Before you post any picture, try to look at it as someone who has never met or seen you before.

Do you really want people to think you are super religious by showing off photos taken of you at your Bar Mitzvah, in a Mosque, or outside a church? Probably not. You also aren’t trying to make yourself seem like a hot mess, with a bunch of drunk friends smoking in a crowded dorm room as your background. Your photo tells people who you are, not just how you look, so make sure it sends a message you want people to see.

A Smile is Worth a Lot

Yes, workout photos can be sexy and send the idea that you value physical fitness, but if you are grunting during the photo like you are trying to give birth to a 50-pound dumbbell, that may not be the way to go. People are attracted to happy and energetic singles or couples, so be sure to show your smile. Even a smirk can do nicely, but the emotion you are displaying does actually matter.

Nobody Needs to See Your Group Photos Unless It’s an Orgy Invitation

Somehow, it became trendy to post photos of yourself in a group of friends. Sometimes, the profile pic includes people you might consider less attractive to make you look better by comparison, which is a super weird flex at best. Sometimes, the photo has so many people in it that it can even become confusing which of the participants is you.

Generally, people want to see photos of YOU since you are the one they are planning to date. Of course, if you are a couple, or if you have friends who are looking for group sex with you and your new partner, then including a photo of your poly partners with that explanation can make a lot of sense. But showing off Diana from work sitting across from you in the break room would be a much better photo if you cropped her out or just chose one of you by yourself somewhere else.

Your “Pretty Good” New Photo is Always Way Better Than Your Best Old Photo 

We all have that ONE photo. That picture someone took eleven years ago where the sunlight hit your hair just perfectly, and your face is framed beautifully by the shade of that tree. Yes, you look amazing. Yes, it’s the best photo ever taken by anyone of anyone, and you happen to be the star of the image. However, unless the person looking at it has a time machine, they will never meet that girl. They will meet you now, as you look, and how you are now.

Your current good photo is always better than your best old photo, and you should be very proud of who you are now. Confidence is way more important than any picture when it comes to attracting worthy mates.

Find photos from the last six months and update them often so whoever checks you out online gets an honest, up-to-date look at who will be opening the door when they ring your bell. It matters, and you are way too pretty to rely on bait-and-switch photography anyway. 

 

Ok, But How Much is Showing Too Much?

One of the most common questions we get asked, since this is an adult dating community of open-minded people seeking hookups and casual relationships, is, ” How much is showing too much?” The answer is a lot simpler than you may imagine.

Start by asking yourself who you want to meet. If you really want to meet a guy with a huge cock for a one-night stand that leaves you struggling to walk to your car after he rearranged your insides, then a very candid photo that shows your breasts out and your legs spread may be the kind of hook you want to use. 

On the other hand, if you want to meet a couple who enjoys going out to dinner and a night of dancing and may want to have a fling with you for the whole summer, then a tight sweater and a skirt that hems just above your thigh-high stockings may be all you want to reveal in your profile. 

Like any good huntress, the lure you want to use to catch yourself someone tasty depends entirely on deciding which sort of catch you are hoping to snag. With millions of members, Adult FriendFinder offers you nearly every kind of potential match, but the people looking for a girl with her hairless and most intimate areas out on her profile are not usually the same people seeking a smart-looking girl in glasses with a book open in a campus library pic.

Be yourself, and you’ll be great!

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How to Create a Great Dating Profile That Shows Off the Real You

Back in the day, you may have wondered how you’d ever find a place to meet other like-minded people for hot new romances, casual sex, or polyamorous affairs. Now, thanks to Adult FriendFinder, you always know exactly where to go when you want to meet someone new – but so does everyone else, and in a community of millions of sexy singles, the new question becomes, how exactly are you going to find ways to stand out?

Creating a standout dating profile on a platform like Adult FriendFinder can be the difference between finding the connections you crave or too often being overlooked – but you also want to be authentic about who you really are, or the connections you make won’t have the kind of intimacy that only a real interpersonal hookup can bring you. Here’s how to craft a profile that not only grabs attention but also represents the real you:

An Honest and Direct Profile IS a Captivating Profile

Be clear about your intentions, interests, and who you are. Whether you’re looking for something casual, exploring new sexual ideas, or wanting to find a more serious relationship with other singles or couples, stating your desires upfront can help attract people with similar expectations. Skipping all the preamble is a great way to show people you are already at peace in your own headspace. 

Your profile should be a mix of useful information and a playful look at your personality. Start with a catchy opening line that reflects some of who you are, perhaps a famous quote or an interesting fact about yourself. Then, follow up with details about your hobbies, skills, and what excites you. Keep it concise but engaging. You want to give enough information to pique their interest but leave enough mystery to encourage them to ask you more during an upcoming conversation.

As a good rule of thumb, mentioning what turns you on or turns you off is a plus, but telling them every last detail about the best blowjob you have ever given is something you should probably save for instant messages and emails after you have decided the person asking is worth all your time and effort to attract.

What Makes You “YOU” – Highlight Your Unique Qualities and Interests

What makes you different? Do you have unusual hobbies, talents, or passions? Everyone enjoys “long walks on the beach,” so saying those sorts of things won’t add much to your profile. Still, if you mention your favorite beaches are Ocho Rios in Jamaica and Jones Beach in New York, now you are starting to give the person checking you out a clearer and more specific look at the kind of person you are – and you are also making it easier for them to start the conversation.

Keep in mind that many people get shy about sending that first instant message, but if they see things they have in common with you, it gets so much easier for them to send a text saying, “I love Ocho Rios too. I was at Hedonism a few years back. Maybe we met there?”  That easy opening to start a chat is all it takes to ease people into your dating life!

Include Suggested Things They Should Contact You About

Instead of just telling everyone what you are looking for, why not also let them know how best to contact you? Simple hints like “I love chatting about travel and I’m a long-time lover of text tattoos” give everyone an easy way to find that pesky end of the roll of tape in their mind, which leads them to start engaging in conversations with you.

Be clear about the type of person you want to meet. This doesn’t mean listing rigid criteria; just describe qualities you admire (everyone says things like kindness, a sense of humor, or a love for adventure), but you can dig deeper than that for sure. Perhaps saying something more like “I’m looking for a man with the hands of a sculptor and the tongue of a sommelier” – that doesn’t just seem flirtatious, it also lets them know you are much more into a refined gentleman than an angry construction worker. Again, there are no right or wrong desires, but if you want to find the kind of people worth meeting, you need to be specific about whoever it is you are looking for right now.

Keep It Positive and Sincere

Yes, you can show off your sense of humor, but you don’t want to be so jokey that nobody takes your profile seriously. Also, it’s fine to mention a few important turn-offs, like, for example, if you don’t want to hook up with smokers or heavy drinkers, but don’t turn your profile into a non-stop whining list of turn-offs that make you seem way too picky for anyone to approach. 

Focus instead on positive aspects when describing yourself and what you’re looking for, and you can even use the positive voice to help you lay out your turn-offs as well. It may seem silly, but saying “I’m looking for a nonsmoker” is way more inviting than “I won’t have sex with smokers,” even though those two statements mean the exact same thing. One is just a nicer, more inclusive-sounding way to say it!

Update Your Dating Profile Regularly

Last summer you may have been D2F just about anyone who looked good in a bowtie because you were going through a phase, and what you wrote on your dating profile likely reflected your mood back then. If you are still in that same headspace it’s fine to leave your wanted poster up until all your needs get fully satisfied, but if your focus has shifted then you need to update your profile to show that as well.

All too often, people get offended because someone contacts them in a way they dislike when, in reality, it’s only happening because their dating profile information is way out of date, and the person browsing you has no idea your mindset has changed. Do everyone a favor, including yourself, and keep your profile fresh by updating it as things change in your life. Adding new hobbies, photos, or life achievements can reflect your current state of mind, and showing some photos that aren’t from eleven years ago also sets realistic expectations of who they will be meeting without having to employ a time machine!

Use Proper Grammar and Spelling Instead of ChatGPT

Good writing can make a big difference. Use spell check and read your profile out loud to catch any errors, but stay far away from ChatGPT. So many singles are making the mistake of letting AI write their profiles…. And all that does is make you sound just like everyone else. Even when AI says something clever on your profile, it has already said the same thing on thousands of other profiles. If you want to stand out from the crowd, you are going to need to invest a few minutes into actually telling people who you are without having a robot do it for you.

Have Fun With the Process

Dating is fun. Hooking up is fun. Meeting new people is fun. Creating an interesting, informative, honest, and sincere dating profile about yourself is ALSO fun! Let yourself enjoy the process of introspection, getting to know yourself, and sharing yourself with the world. You are an amazing person, and all you are doing with your dating profile is letting everyone else know just how awesome you are. If you put a little time and energy into your profile, they will put plenty of time and energy into you as well.

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The Difference Between Sexual Fantasies and Sexual Desires

Sex is a beautiful part of being human. Sharing and experiencing sexual pleasure is one of the greatest gifts in life. Although talking about sex is often taboo, open sexual dialogue helps us understand ourselves and others so that we can explore our sexual nature in a healthy environment. 

There are a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to sexual subjects. One of the biggest confusions is the difference between sexual fantasy and sexual desire. Although the two can overlap, they describe two different experiences. To understand what sexual fantasy and sexual desire are, how they differ, and how they both contribute to our sexual side, let’s dive deeper.

What is Sexual Fantasy?

Sexual fantasies are thoughts and images that enhance or create sexual arousal. They can be retrieved deliberately or can happen spontaneously. Many things can trigger a sexual fantasy, and the stimulus varies vastly, including visual porn, erotic literature, memory retrieval, or simply seeing someone sexually appealing on the street. 

Sexual fantasies do not necessarily mean desire. People often are turned on by fantasies that they do not wish to pursue in real life.

What is Sexual Desire?

A sexual desire is a hunger to try a sexual act in real life. The desire can be derived from a sexual fantasy, and it can be a solo act or an act that involves others. If a sexual desire involves others, it is essential to practice clear communication and consent before acting on it. 

Normalizing Sexual Fantasies

Often, people are embarrassed or ashamed of their sexual fantasies. However, sexual fantasies are experienced universally and are not something to be ashamed of. 97% of people report experiencing sexual fantasies, yet less than a third report acting on them. People refrain from acting on sexual fantasies for a plethora of reasons. Often, the fantasy is something the person has no interest in doing in real life. For example, you might fantasize about being a cuckold, but in real life, that would fill you with anger, sadness, and other negative emotions. Still, even if a sexual fantasy is taboo, it is essential to understand it is normal. 

Common Sexual Fantasies

In 2018, Dr. Justin Lehmiller published  Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. The book resulted from a survey of over 4,000 Americans of diverse backgrounds and sexual interests. In the book, he categorized the most common sexual fantasies themes, which are:

  1. Multi-Partner Sex: This fantasy can involve a threesome, swinging partners, orgies, or gang bangs.
  2. Power, Control, and Rough Sex: This category includes sadism and masochism(S&M), bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission(BDSM). This category also includes forced and rough sex fantasies. 
  3. Novelty, Adventure, and Variety: This category includes anything new, such as a new sex toy or position. It also contains fantasies about sex in specific locations like the beach or airplane. 
  4. Taboo and Forbidden Sex: Often, people fantasize about fetishes, exhibitionism, or voyeurism. They also might fantasize about taboo topics such as teacher-student sex or mailman sex. 
  5. Partner Sharing and Non-Monogamous Relationships: While less than .5% of people find cheating arousing, many are aroused by swinging, partner sharing, or cuckolding fantasies. 
  6. Passion and Romance: Fantasies don’t have to be wild. People often fantasize about passion and romance. In fact, people are more likely to fantasize about their current partner than a celebrity.
  7. Erotic Flexibility – Specifically, Homoeroticism and Gender-Bending: These fantasies encompass a desire to explore gender, style, sexual fluidity, and other homoerotic ideas. 

Exploring Your Sexual Fantasies

If you’ve never explored your sexual fantasies, there is no time like the present to start. If you do not know where to start, there are a few questions you can ask yourself to discover what your fantasies might be.

  • What were your top three sexual experiences? Did they have anything in common?
  • What do you think about when you masturbate?
  • What type of porn or erotica are you drawn to?

It is important to remember that fantasies vary drastically. Many people fantasize about romance and conventional sex. That is their fantasy.

Expressing Your Sexual Desires to Your Partner

While 77% of people want to act on their sexual fantasies, only 20% have discussed it with their partner. Having a conversation with your partner about your sexual fantasy can feel daunting. It is hard to be vulnerable, but it is vital to long-term relationship satisfaction. Discussing vulnerable information and sharing secrets will bring your relationship closer, but respecting your partner’s wishes and boundaries is essential. 

To broach the topic of trying your sexual desires:

  1. Communicate your sexual desires clearly and explain your reasoning.
  2. Be mindful of your partner’s feelings and reassure them the fantasies are not a result of you finding them lacking.
  3. After explaining, listen to your partner’s feedback. If they would like to try your fantasy, you can begin that discussion.

If your partner doesn’t want to partake in your sexual desire, you must respect their boundaries. You should also be open to hearing your partner’s sexual desires and fantasies. 

Exploring Your Sexual Desires

If you have decided to take action on your sexual desires, it is critical to stay safe, aware, and communicate clearly. Most sexual desires involve a partner or partners, so taking precautions to ensure everyone has a good time is critical. To do so:

  1. Communicate clearly about what you would like to do, what you expect, and what your partner would like. Keep the flow of communication open throughout the experience.
  2. Establish boundaries and no-gos.
  3. Establish a safe word you and your partner can use if things feel uncomfortable.
  4. Enjoy the experience and take things slow. There is no need to try everything all at once. 
  5. Be flexible if the experience goes differently than planned. Adapting and adjusting will ensure everyone has a pleasurable experience.
  6. Communicate throughout the experience and afterward. Provide feedback and discuss what you would like to explore in the future. 

Conclusion

Sexual fantasies and desires are a normal part of a person’s sexuality. Not all fantasies are meant to be explored, but if you have a desire, discussing it with your partner can be a way to strengthen your connection and bond. All sex should be safe and consensual to ensure mutual pleasure. Sexuality is a beautiful part of being a human that is meant to be explored. 

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The Four Categories of Sex

Sex. It’s something we never talk about enough. Why do we have sex? There’s an argument that it’s purely a side effect of the biological need to reproduce. That argument is wrong! In fact, we can put sex into four distinct categories that relate to the reason we are having sex and, yes, who we are having sex with.

Reproductive Sex

Let’s start with how babies are made. Reproductive sex is sex with the primary goal of producing offspring. Many people falsely believe that’s the only reason animals have sex (it’s not).

Some religions believe reproductive sex is the only valid kind and that if you don’t want to have a baby right now, you should be celibate, even in the context of a relationship. Until very recently, sex was required for human reproduction. Now, while we still require sperm to come in contact with an egg, we have various ways to engage in reproduction without sex, such as in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination. Most human babies, though, are still produced via sex.

Reproductive sex is limited. It requires a penis to enter a vagina without any means being used to prevent reproduction. People intentionally engaging in reproductive sex may abstain when less fertile and then “go at it” when ovulating, saving their sexual energies for when there is the most chance of a baby.

It can also be really stressful…in fact, trying too hard to produce a baby can even impact fertility.

Biologically, reproduction is the primary purpose of sex. But we humans are complex and sexy animals…and even other animals engage in other kinds of sex. So, what are they?

Relational Sex

Let’s “make love.” Relational sex is the sex we engage in to improve our relationship with our partner(s). We’re not trying to make a baby (and indeed, plenty of couples can’t), but we’re trying to get closer to our partner.

Relational sex connects to the five stages of a relationship.

These are:

  1. Honeymoon. You’re newly in love, haven’t discovered each other’s flaws yet, and feel euphoria just by thinking of them. Typically, couples in this stage have a lot of sex to form and cement their relationship.
  2. Uncertainty. This is when you start to see the bruise on the apple and question whether the person is right for you. Your feelings aren’t as intense, and you’re likely having less sex. Some relationships don’t survive this stage, and they aren’t meant to.
  3. Adjustment. The third stage of a relationship is when you really dig into each other and discover the challenges. This is when you decide whether this person is right for you and whether you can handle cultural differences. You want to make it work, but you aren’t always sure how. This is when unhealthy patterns can form. Relational sex can help you remember why you love them.
  4. Commitment. You accept each other’s flaws, get more comfortable, and start thinking about the long haul. This is when marriage comes up. At this point, you’re establishing your sexual pattern and know each other’s needs.
  5. Acceptance. If you reach this stage, you’re in it for the long haul. You feel secure in your relationship and can balance it with personal goals and friendships. Your relational sex has become a key part of that relationship, and how often you have sex is now a pattern (but not a habit!).

 

Make-up sex is also a form of relational sex. Having sex after an argument to establish that you are still a couple is a normal human pattern. You might also have more relational sex if you are both stressed, and it’s very common to want more sex after losing a friend or family member. More complicated relational sex patterns can occur within polycules, but make sure you aren’t having sex to make another partner jealous, as that’s always a sign something is wrong in your grouping.

Recreational Sex

Recreational sex is sex for the sake of sex. Sex should be pleasurable for everyone involved, and if it’s not, you’re doing something wrong. However, reproductive sex can sometimes turn into a chore, and relational sex can be more about communication than pleasure.

People often have recreational sex with their partner – this might include experimenting with new things. People can also have recreational sex with strangers (hooking up), friends (friends with benefits), or, of course, themselves. Settling in with a porn movie and a dildo or pocket pussy is definitely a form of recreational sex!

Recreational sex may also be engaged in to relax or for stress relief. This is particularly the case with many forms of kink. For example, a person who visits a dominatrix often seeks a break from making decisions. If there’s no other goal than “fun sexy times,” it’s recreational sex.

Primal Sex

Primal sex is pure lust. It’s when you don’t think about anything other than getting laid right now. Masturbating because you just can’t stand it anymore is an example of primal sex. Sex is a basic need that sometimes has to be indulged in.

Some people engage in primal play. This is a kink in which you try to channel your animal instincts and seek completely uninhibited sex. Primal sex often means letting go of the typical “rules” of our sex lives and can be a great way for long-term couples to liven things up. However, becoming too uninhibited can cause issues with consent. If you engage in this kind of play, make sure you trust your partner(s) and use safewords. Set boundaries and make agreements about what you will do and not do.

Primal sex can deepen connections when done right and thus crosses over into relational sex. It can also be a negative expression of sexuality that has to be watched for.

Of course, sex can cross over some of these categories. Relational sex can also happen in ways that allow for reproduction to happen. Recreational sex can be relational or, yes, primal.

But all sex fits into one of these four categories, and it’s natural to explore your sexuality and understand which of them you want to engage in and for that to change through your life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting lots of recreational sex, and there’s nothing wrong with containing your sexuality in a relationship, either. But it helps to understand what’s going on in your sex life, and it can make your relationships better.

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Fall Hookup Horoscope By Signs

The changing seasons bring a sense of adventure and excitement—it’s the perfect time to spice up your love life. Whether you’re single and ready to mingle or already in a relationship, going over your fall hookup horoscope can be the key to finding romantic connections that align with your astrological sign. So, let’s dive into the world of astrology and find out what the stars have in store for you this fall!

**Aries (March 21-April 19): The Fiery Flame of Passion**

Aries, you are fiery and impulsive! That nature makes you irresistible this fall. You’ll radiate confidence and charm, attracting potential partners with ease. Your infectious energy and enthusiasm make you the life of any party, which makes it easy for you to make connections. Just be careful not to rush too quickly into anything without considering the long-term consequences of it!

**Taurus (April 20-May 20): The Sensual Lover**

Taurus, your fall hookup horoscope prediction is a sensual and intimate season ahead. You embody comfort and stability, making your potential partners feel safe and secure around you. Your down-to-earth nature makes it so that you can take time to build relations based on trust and mutual understanding. This fall, indulge in the relationships that bring you the most emotional satisfaction and physical pleasure.

**Gemini (May 21-June 20): The Social Butterfly**

Gemini, your vibrant and adaptable personality makes you the social butterfly of the season. This fall, you’ll find yourself surrounded by a whirlwind of potential partners. But take heed! Your intellectual conversations and quick wit will attract those who appreciate your stimulating company. Embrace new opportunities and connections this season, but remember to ground yourself in authentic connections. This is important so that you can maintain your vibrancy!

**Cancer (June 21-July 22): The Emotional Connection Seeker**

Cancer, you’re nurturing and intuitive nature longs for deep emotional connections this fall. While this is true nearly all the time you find yourself single, it will be especially true this fall. You seek a partner who can understand and support your emotional needs. Take this season to focus on building long-lasting relationships based on trust, empathy, and genuine connection. Avoid rushing into affairs that do not fulfill your emotional desires.

**Leo (July 23-August 22): The Charismatic Lover**

Leo, your magnetic personality shines bright! With your natural confidence and charisma, potential partners will be drawn to your presence like moths to a flame. Enjoy the attention, but remember to give equal importance to others’ needs and desires. This season is about finding a balance between indulging in your desires and maintaining harmonious relationships. It does no good for you to find the one if you drive them away!

**Virgo (August 23-September 22): The Analytical Dater**

Virgo, this fall is the perfect time for you to use your analytical skills when it comes to dating. You value practicality and efficiency, so go ahead and make sure that your potential partners meet your high standards. Embrace connections that offer stability and intellectual stimulation. Your mind craves that. However, remember that no one is perfect, and being open to imperfections can lead to unexpected romantic encounters.

**Libra (September 23-October 22): The Diplomatic Matchmaker**

Libra, your knack for diplomacy and harmony will make you the ultimate matchmaker. You’ll naturally attract likely partners who value your ability to create a peaceful and balanced space. Highlight building connections that offer equality, understanding, and companionship. This will be your best bet. This season, prioritize emotional balance and seek harmony in your relationships.

**Scorpio (October 23-November 21): The Seductive Enigma**

Scorpio, your mysterious and intense aura will draw others towards you this fall. Prospective partners will be magnetically attracted to your energies this time of year. Embrace the passionate connections, but be sure to communicate your boundaries and desires clearly. This season, explore the depths of your sensuality and embrace vulnerability with trustworthy people.

**Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): The Adventurous Explorer**

Sagittarius, your daring spirit makes you thrive! You’re looking for partners who share your love for exploration and excitement. Hold on to any opportunities to meet new people and have thrilling experiences. Remember, they are hard to see if you aren’t looking!
Also, be mindful of maintaining a balance between the intensity of connection and the freedom you value dearly.

**Capricorn (December 22-January 19): The Pragmatic Seeker**

Capricorn, your practical and goal-oriented nature will guide your romantic choices this fall. Look for partners who support your ambitions and desire for stability. Relationships that offer emotional security and shared values will most likely appeal to you this season. Be open to letting your guard down and let love find you in unlikely places. Remember, you can’t keep a love you drove away!

**Aquarius (January 20-February 18): The Unconventional Lover**

Aquarius, your love for all things unique and strange will set the tone for your romantic pursuits this fall. Accept ties to people that challenge societal norms and allow for individuality. Open yourself to new experiences and connections, but remember to balance your independence with the intimacy that deep connections require. A shallow connection will not best serve you!

**Pisces (February 19-March 20): The Dreamy Romantic**

Pisces, your dreamy and compassionate nature makes you a hopeless romantic this fall. Your intuitive abilities attract potential partners who are captivated by your gentle and empathetic personality. Embrace relationships that allow you to express your emotions freely and bring out your creative side. This season, focus on finding connections that fulfill your imagination and deeper desires.

So, your fall hookup horoscope can provide insight into the type of people you’re looking for based on your astrological sign. However, it’s important to remember that astrology is just one lens through which we can view our romantic lives. Ultimately, it’s up to you to embrace the opportunities, maintain that open communication, and nurture the relationships that bring you the most happiness and fulfillment this fall season. Now, get out there!

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7 Unofficial Holidays to Keep the Fireworks Cumming Long After July 4th

Many of us aren’t ready for the party to end after the Fourth of July. We spend so much time, money, and physical exertion to honor the U.S. on this day by celebrating with beer, fireworks, and emergency hospital visits, but where does that leave us on July 5th? Tired, hungover, and forced to clean up a mess? Yay!

But what if the world could offer you much more in July than one party? Do you think you could accept the challenge of finding a way to celebrate at least five special days set aside for fun in America’s Unofficial Holiday Calendar? The coolest thing about these holidays is that, yes, many of these days do have an important purpose, to bring awareness to an issue that’s important to many people. Still, we’re Americans and can honor our personal understanding of freedom in July. 

To many Americans, freedom means individuality, sexual liberation, and sparkling explosions in the night sky. It can be a wild ride, but someone has to do it. And you can. Let’s keep the party open for the rest of the month, shall we?

World/National Kissing Day, July 6

Our first holiday, World Kissing Day, is also referred to as National Kissing Day. It’s the day we show loved ones we care with a big ol’ smooch, even if it’s just on the cheek. It’s also a great day to experiment and see if kissing is indeed the gateway drug to sex, as many junior high sex-ed textbooks would have you believe.

Experiment with your kissing skills and try some new tricks while you’re at it. Practice by kissing your loved one all over their body and communicating with each other about how it makes you feel. You’ll burn calories, relieve stress, and increase your natural immunity to disease. Who knows where else it will lead?

Do it for the kissing. Do it for science. Do it for your country.

National Nude Day/ National Tape Measure Day/ Pandemonium Day, July 14

National Nude Day allows you to embrace your body and walk around naked and confident all day (just not out in public in the U.S.). You can also encourage others to let it all hang out and love themselves, just as they should. WARNING: Nakedness has been known to lead to general debauchery and sexual exploration. Have fun!

National Tape Measure Day is a celebration of a handy tool you can use to measure the length and width of things all over the house. If your partner has a penis, you can put any worries or ego trips to rest by measuring it once and for all. Measure the extra space in your basement to see if you have room for the sex swing you want to order. Use it to measure the door frames before ordering any other large toys for the bedroom. Keep it handy; you never know when you may need it. 

National Pandemonium Day is an excellent holiday for proud hedonists who enjoy a little chaos in their sex lives. This is a most beautiful day for an orgy. Invite some like-minded friends, throw a tarp on the floor, and ensure that there’s plenty of drink, food, and lube to keep the energy up and the friction down. Amp up the chaos by having everyone wear a blindfold. You may not know whose junk you’re fiddling with at the moment, but that’s okay. The purpose of this day may not be to learn how to control the chaos, but instead, try embracing it and going with the flow. 

Fifty points if you can find a way to celebrate all three of these holidays at once. As they say, you’re only limited by your imagination. 

Toss Away the Could Haves and Should Haves Day, July 16

This holiday may sound more like Marie Kondo’s birthday, but the day is actually for getting rid of the ‘what if’ feelings that ruminate in our minds:

Should I have bought the Toyota instead of the Chevy? Could I have been chosen for that job instead of this other person? I should have bought that other vibrator; this one isn’t doing what it should/could? And the ever-popular: I should have worn a condom!

Ignore the past and concentrate on your future decisions. Let go of what doesn’t bring you joy. Move on from old hook-ups that have gotten stale and start looking for what, or who, you want to do right now. If you have someone, invite them over. If you’re alone, jump online and find someone to spend the day with. Regret is a bad place to make your home, and the cost of living there is much too high. Instead, try out new things, people, positions, and adventures.

You can treat this day as your sex life’s New Year’s Eve and make a resolution or two. Out with the old and in with the new exciting possibilities, practices, and routines. Your new sex life begins now.

Gorgeous Grandma Day, July 23

Have you heard of a GILF? Back in the 90s, American Pie and Stifler’s gorgeous mom taught us what a MILF is. But what is a GILF?

On Gorgeous Grandma Day, a GILF is a Grandma I’d Love to Fuck. If you’re into cougars, pumas, and other crazy cat names they have for older women who enjoy the sexual talents and seemingly unlimited stamina of a younger person, then this is your day. There are adventurous grandmas out there that don’t spend all their time knitting sweaters and finding suitable mates for their children/grandchildren. Grannies want to have fun too. They’re experienced, knowledgable, and comfortable in their skin. They also carry small candies in their purse and will still give you a dollar for the ice cream man. 

When you’re over 18, age is just a number. So gorgeous Grandma Day is a win for everyone. 

National Hire A Veteran Day, July 25

It comes as no shock to anyone that too many of our veterans are neglected and ignored when they come home. While July 25th is a day for HIRING a veteran, not all of us have hiring capabilities for paid jobs. But we can show our appreciation in other ways.

A short unpaid internship may brighten their outlook and put a spring in their step. So what do you need them to do? Check out the strength and durability of your mattress? Monitor your water pressure in the shower (of course, you would need to be in there too. Safety in numbers.)? Help you set up the sex swing you bought last week? The entire goal is to say thank you by giving something back in return for your freedom, even if it’s just a blow job. 

Check us out the member groups and advice lines for more ideas, and have fun this month!

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Get Noticed on the AFF Hottest Member Photos Page!

If you’re looking for ways to capture the attention of that special someone(s) on Adult FriendFinder, one thing that could move you to the top of their “to-do” list is appearing on the Hottest Member Photos page. This section is where all the highest rated photos on the site appear, and it’s one of the easiest ways to get noticed!

So, how do you take a photo that’s worthy of the Hottest Member Photos page? Here are a few tips, straight from some of Adult FriendFinder’s most successful members.

Put Your Best Face Forward

It’s easy to assume that because AFF is an adult dating site, showing photos of your private parts is the easiest way to get attention. However, that’s not always the case, as many members crave a connection beyond their physical urges. Lots of top-rated photos on the site include at least part of the member’s face, so if you are gunning for that top spot, this is one tip you should consider when snapping selfies to post on your profile. If you’re trying to be discreet, try showing the lower or top half your face, as even that’s enough to pique the curiosity of potential mates as they browse the site.

Your Body of Work

While it’s essential to put your best face forward, it doesn’t hurt to show off your other assets, especially if you aren’t comfortable showing your full face in photos. Choose a body part you are proud of, and keep in mind that it doesn’t need to be X-rated. If you have an impressive meat-hammer, a pretty pussy, or a phenomenal ass, by all means, show it off! But pretty feet, great abs, and legs that won’t quit can garner just as much, if not more attention in many cases.

Show Off Your Personality

You don’t have to be a supermodel to have highly-rated photos, but you have to be genuine. Members want to connect with you on some level, so don’t be shy about showing them who you are. Show yourself in action doing something you love, whether it’s sexual or not. One popular couple on Adult FriendFinder frequently graces the Hottest Member Photos page by posting photos of themselves doing fun outdoor activities like skiing, hiking, and rock climbing. Sometimes they’re nude and sometimes they’re not, but either way, they’re fun to look at, and people can’t seem to get enough. Not the outdoorsy type? Here are a few other ideas that have worked on the site:

Novelty lingerie – One member posted photos of her backside in various 90s novelty panties, and people loved it so much that her photos were the most highly rated on the site for weeks!

Costumes/Cosplay – You don’t have to save the sexy costumes for Halloween. Many of our most popular members love to show off their best cosplay outfits, and it gets them lots of attention from their fellow members.

Hobbies – Nude painting, sunbathing, and even cooking are activities people love to see. How much skin you choose to show while doing them is entirely up to you, of course!

Post High-Resolution Photos

Try to post high-quality photos so people can see what you have to offer. You don’t need to hire a professional photographer to make this happen, seeing as how you probably have a smartphone sitting in your pocket right now that takes better photos than any webcam can. We’re not looking for IG models with highly edited and filtered material, just something that isn’t blurry or pixilated so people can see you clearly.

Get Inspired

Study other top member photos and note what you like and don’t like about their pictures. Take notice of any poses that may work for you and any themes you want to incorporate. You can even take it one step further and reach out to people whose photos you admire for advice. It’s a great way to make new friends and maybe even find your next hot hookup!

Things to Avoid

A messy background – You want to be the focal point of your photos, and a cluttered background will take the focus off of you, so be sure to clean up before snapping that selfie in your room. No one expects your place to be spotless, but just making sure everything is neat within the frame of your photo can make a huge difference in how people react to the pictures you post. 

Don’t post anything the violates the site’s TOS – Photos containing minors, animals, and other people who are not a part of your profile are against the TOS (even if they are just in the background) and will get your photo taken down. Repeat offenses could even get you banned from the site, so ensure the only one in your photo is you! 

Bonus Tip: Take Advantage of Member Photo Contests!

Adult FriendFinder hosts member photo contests regularly, so enter often to gain even more exposure. You could win a free one-year Gold membership, plus you never know who you might meet in the process.

Login to AdultFriendFinder.com and see who’s on the Hottest Member Photos page now!

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Sex is Best When All the Stars Align – Conclusion

The office we were in was filled with familiarity. Each had a large wooden desk with two comfortable leather chairs in front of it. Wall-to-wall windows led to the outside.

What was less familiar, however, was the position I was in as I felt the cold wood of the desk on my back with William suddenly sliding his cock inside me. The feelings were intense, as I felt every inch of him penetrating deep. I was wet, horny, and excited. Despite my best efforts to stay quiet, I moaned as he slid inside me.

Most of our coworkers had left for the day, though I knew I had to stay quiet as he pushed in and out of me. Having just seen him naked for the first time the night before, the image of his muscular and toned body was still fresh. William was still wearing most of his clothes, and I looked up into his gorgeous eyes as he moved his hips confidently back and forth. He had just pulled his pants down enough to get the access needed to start fucking me more fully.

I never thought I would get it on with someone from work, but now that I was, I was all about it. Throwing caution to the wind, I was down for anything. Caution was not all the way to the wind, though; the loud moans I would typically give would be much louder. The need to be quiet was a turn-on in itself, and my obvious struggles to stay quiet got a smirk from William.

“Shhhhh,” he said as he leaned in to kiss me and muffled my moans by gently cupping his hand over my mouth before squeezing my face more firmly beneath his grasp.

He was clearly happy with his power in this situation; his bold moves paid off for both of us. My deepest fantasies were being satiated, and my longing and desire to feel him inside me once again was intense. At this point, he started to crank things up a notch. “Fuck me slow a little longer,” I moaned.

His passionate kisses, slow touches, and firm hands were hitting all of my pleasure zones. The excitement of being introduced to something completely new would have been enough to keep me going for hours. That said, the evening cleaning staff would eventually come in. So, after a few minutes of tantalizing, slow, subtle pleasures, I let him know he could speed it up.

William had a quiet and understanding demeanor in the office, though he was highly passionate and sensual, as he started moving faster. The intensity in his eyes, body language, and fucking were turned up, showing me a side of him that I had not quite seen yet. This sex was carnal.
It had been a while since I had felt so wanted and filled with satisfaction. This fiery lovemaking session was just getting started. One moment I was under William on his desk, lying on my back, and the next moment his strong arms had flipped me onto my stomach as he pulled out of me.

Sliding me down his desk, my feet touched the ground. I was bent over it without any inhibitions left as William lifted my dress and entered me deep from behind without warning! It’s my favorite sex position, with even more intense orgasms as he knowingly reached down to diddle me with his fingers.

William had a commanding nature; I was starting to experience it completely. He was persuasive while not seeming to be prying, he was charming while being straightforward and direct, and our timing was perfect as the stars aligned for us.

William’s book about zodiac signs briefly popped into my head as I noted how our bodies moved in complete harmony. He grasped my hair, pulling my shoulders up to get even deeper penetration, making me even tighter around him. At that moment, I was the center of the universe.

I felt liberated and free. Despite having my dress on and despite him having most of his clothes on, this was some of the hottest sex I had ever had. I felt incredibly validated, and my body quivered with pleasure. William slowed down his thrusts, pulling out of me and turning me around. I pulled him in, kissing him on the lips, then the neck. I felt compelled to please him, wanting to give him what he commanded. I felt hands on my hips before realizing my dress was about to come off. Up it went over my head; I was stripped naked at work, wet and dripping, in the middle of Williams’s office.

This was only a brief pause for us before round two began. We had not even had our second date and were already on our second day of tantalizing sex. At that moment, I knew I would do anything for him sexually. He glanced at the windows, asking, “Up for a new experience?” Nervous, I replied, “Yes, I’d like that.”

It was another phrasing I had always wanted to use during a sexual romp. I noted that if we saw people who looked like they could tell what was happening, we would quickly move away. William agreed, taking my hand and walking me toward the window. He put my hands on the glass and pushed my body forward. My breasts touched the cold glass, sending shivers through my body. Sticking my ass out, I was ready for more.
William knew how to turn me on, and at this moment, he turned it up yet again. Even though I knew what was coming next, the feeling of him entering me again brought an audible gasp. I didn’t care if this was lust, love, or a combination of the two; I braced myself for another wild ride toward orgasm. With my body pushed up against the window, William had all the leverage he needed to go particularly deep.

I felt full, and I felt happy. One of my hands moved away from the glass, sliding between my legs so I could pleasure myself as the penetrations got faster. The muscles between my legs started tensing as I felt myself getting even more turned on. Closer and closer, I moved toward climax, with my moans getting louder as the thrusting got faster. William reminded me we needed to be quiet, and I could hardly contain the orgasm I knew was coming. I felt myself pulsing around him, and shortly after, I felt his juices inside me.

The whole experience was incredibly intense, and after he pulled out, I turned around and kissed him. Again, his body pushed me against the glass, this time my ass feeling the cold, before pulling me away and sitting me ever so lightly on his desk, continuing making out and lightly touching my back.

William was a fun-loving guy who was there for me when I needed a sensitive person to give me affection, pleasure, and spontaneity. After a romantic dinner, he whisked me off my feet and knew how to turn me on. As a Sagittarius, I had always approached life and sex with an optimistic and fun attitude.

I had lost that feeling for many months, and that spark quickly returned through fun times with my coworker. Finding another adventurous and free-spirited person was perfect, and William and I are still hooking up. We have discussed whether there might be something more, though we are taking our time and enjoying our freedom. We learn new things from each other, venturing deeper into our passions, intimacy, friendship, and love. To think it all started with a book, the perfect icebreaker for us, and an excellent introduction to the many ways people can be compatible if their personalities are in alignment.

I am now even more confident that the stars are a fantastic way to connect with others. These few weeks were the perfect way to move forward with life, out with the old and in with the new. It’s what the universe wants us all to understand, and the stars that guide us taught me a valuable lesson once again. Timing is everything…