Starting a conversation is often one of the most challenging aspects of online dating, right behind maintaining those conversations and using them to help score more dates. There are many variables when it comes to online dating, and some may find that the people they message don’t respond as promptly as they would like. Sometimes people are just too busy, and sometimes they’re just not interested. Whatever the reason, don’t take things personally. With millions of people using dating websites online, odds are you will find people who click with you and some who don’t. Here are a few pointers to help you tip the scales in your favor.
Be patient. Send out a lot of messages and don’t be so quick to block those who don’t reply right away — especially if you’ve already had an interaction or two. It’s possible they just got busy with real life and will come back in a week or two when things have calmed down. You don’t want to miss out on great hookups because people can’t always prioritize checking their messages when more important things come up.
While patience is an integral part of the picture, so is putting together messages that people actually want to respond to. Some use pickup lines or messages that just say “hey,” while others will send pictures of their dick. These tactics are annoying to those who are really looking for a connection and often will not garner a response.
Instead, write a well-thought-out note that utilizes the information they have in their dating profile. This lets them know you know that you took the time to read their profile and found them interesting in some way. Touch on an interest they have, make a comment on one of their pictures that is not sex-related, and let them know a little bit about yourself and why you think they’re interesting.
Another key element to getting noticed is including photos and videos that are enticing. Profiles that don’t have pictures are far less likely to get replies, so try to include at least one image to show people you are the real deal. At least one picture of your face is ideal, but acceptations can be made for casual sex dating sites like AdultFriendFinder.com. People on hook-up dating websites may be more hesitant to show their face, and in those cases a body shot will do instead. Whatever image you choose to post, make sure it’s a clear, high-quality photo that shows off your best features. Having a good picture or two on your profile heavily increases your message response rate and therefore increases the chance you’ll find a date.
Also, try to be as consistent as possible. It’s easy to get into a wonderful conversation, leave it for a few weeks, then come back and wonder why the person isn’t as responsive once you return. If you’re really serious about making a great connection, log in to your online dating accounts every day or two to check messages and respond. Even if you just check in to say you’re having a busy day and will write a longer response when you have a moment, it’s still better than no response because it shows the other person know you’re willing to take 30 seconds out of your day to give them an update. Not only is this great for maintaining conversations, but it’s also attractive because it lets people know you can follow through on dates and notes. This tends to put you a step above those who aren’t paying attention to their dating accounts as much.
Maintaining conversations can seem to be a little bit difficult at times, but try to find a balance between talking about yourself and asking about the other person. Think of it as a normal conversation, translated into text. If they respond with a question about your interests, go ahead and answer that question and follow it up with a question about their interests, or ask their thoughts about what you just said. The latest television show, the season in your area, and general activities you enjoy are all great ice breakers. Try to stay away from upcoming local events during the “get to know me” phase though so as not to give out too much information on places they can find you. Remember, you are still in the vetting process.
Finding a way to relate to the person you’re interested in can really help you land the date you’re after, so take the time to read profiles and make thoughtful comments about them. Even if you’re just looking for casual sex, don’t make it the main focus of the conversation. Be clear about what you want, but don’t be too blunt about it either. Try to warm them up by asking if they’ve found any great connections on the site yet, or keep it simple and ask how their day is going.
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