Friendship is an amazing bond built on trust and understanding. But sometimes, feelings and desires can grow, leading to a desire for a different type of connection. Let’s dive into the delicate and complex topic of shifting a friendship into a friends-with-benefits (FWB) situation.
Getting through this requires open communication, mutual respect, and an understanding of the boundaries already part of your existing friendship.
So, before making any significant changes to your relationship, it’s important to think about your own motivations and judge whether the change from BFF to FWB is truly what you want. Consider that the dynamics, compatibility, and shared values within your friendship may mean they won’t want to go there with you. They may feel that your friendship shouldn’t go to a sexual place, or they may have a history that makes an FWB situationship unlikely. Make sure you know the implications and potential risks of changing over from friends to FWB. At the very least, think about what it means for you and what it could mean for your friend, given what you know about them.
Start With Communication
Communication is the foundation of any relationship, and it can be even more important when going from friendship to an FWB. Have an open and honest conversation about your feelings. It’s the scariest part of the whole endeavor, I know! But, you’ll need to be able to talk to the one you have feelings for, even if they are mainly sexual.
Taking a friend to a FWB is the same as starting a new relationship. It is new, after all, which means both parties’ intentions must line up so that neither of you feels misled or hurt. Talk about boundaries, your expectations, your hopes, and any concerns that come up when you first talk about the possibility of introducing sex into your friendship. Clear and transparent communication is essential to keeping a solid foundation for your relationship.
Consent is Key
Consent is one of the cornerstones of any healthy relationship, including Friends-With-Benefits! Both people must fully and willingly agree to start this type of relationship. Ensure you’re both on the same page regarding the commitment level, emotional involvement, and long-term expectations. It’s vital to respect each other’s boundaries and be mindful of potential changes in feelings that may come up.
When moving from friends to FWB, setting clear boundaries helps ensure everybody feels comfortable and respected. Boundaries can include limitations on emotional attachment, exclusivity, and personal or intimate topics within the friendship. Maybe there’s an old flame of yours they don’t want to talk about. Maybe they have specific requirements for taking on a sexual partner. Talking about and having boundaries in place helps prevent misunderstandings and potentially hurt feelings. Remember that boundaries may evolve and must be continuously discussed and reevaluated.
Embrace honesty and openness throughout any transition in your friendship. Talk about any changes in your feelings openly with your friend. If either of you starts developing romantic feelings, it’s important to talk about it promptly. Being open to change and adapting to evolving emotions can help sustain a healthier FWB dynamic or even allow a deeper romantic connection if that develops.
Check-in Often
Check-ins allow you to assess whether the FWB relationship still serves both of you or if changes need to be made. Emotions, expectations, and boundaries may change over time, so regularly talking about and evaluating the ‘ship will help sustain a healthy friendship for the long term.
The last important consideration you’ll have is that transitioning a friendship into an FWB relationship comes with its own risks and potential challenges. You’ll need to accept that the outcome may not be exactly what you thought it would be. There’s a possibility that the FWB dynamic won’t work out, leading you to shift back to friendship or even the complete end of the relationship. Accepting this as a possibility will let you approach the changeover with a level-headed mindset and, hopefully, prevent unnecessary heartache.
Making your way from friends to FWB is a delicate thing that requires open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to adapt to evolving emotions. Thinking about your motivations and having open conversations about expectations is essential. Also, establishing clear boundaries and regularly checking in on how the FWB’ ship is doing will be an unavoidable need for your relationship. Remember that sometimes the outcome may not be what you wanted, but embracing transparency and acceptance will let you navigate this change gracefully.
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