Fisting can feel pretty intimidating to someone who’s never tried it before, especially if you’ve only seen depictions of it in movies like Chasing Amy, Waiting, and Fifty Shades of Grey. While it’s certainly not for the faint of heart, fisting is far more intimate than one would gather from watching Ben Affleck cringe as Joey Lauren Adams does spirit fingers through an imaginary butthole. In fact, enthusiasts swear that fisting triggers powerful orgasms they can’t achieve otherwise when done with the right partner.
If you’re looking to try your hand at fisting, this guide will help ease your way into things so you feel safe, comfortable, and satisfied!
Make a Plan
Fisting isn’t something you should try on a whim, as you could get hurt in the process. That’s why you need to plan out when you’re going to do it, how you’re going to do it, and, most importantly, who you’re going to do it with. Decide if you want to try anal fisting, vaginal fisting, or both. And please, for the love of all that is holy (no pun intended), don’t even think of attempting both at the same time.
Find the Right Partner
If you’re new to fisting, you must find a partner you can trust. If you’re not in an intimate relationship, your best bet is to find an experienced partner. If you’re currently in an intimate relationship and you and your partner want to learn together, go for it! But be sure to take it slow and do your homework before you begin.
Gather Your Supplies
Yes, you need supplies to do this right, and there’s no way around it. Here’s what you’ll need:
Lube – You’re going to need several large jars of good fisting lube. There are many great brands on the market, and the one you choose should depend on whether you’re going in anally or vaginally. We’ll break this down for you later.
Towels – Things will get messy, so have a stack of clean, dry towels nearby at all times.
Fisting Mitt (Optional) – If you and your partner want to be extra careful about STDs, then a fisting mitt can provide you both with an extra layer of protection.
Douche Kit (Optional) – This is great if you want to clean yourself out before the festivities begin. Be sure to only use it for anal, though. Vaginal douching can wreak havoc on your pH balance, which is the last thing you need when you’re already trying something as invasive as fisting.
Stuff Happens
We’re all adults here, so let’s not pretend we don’t know what can happen when butt stuff is involved. If you’re worried about certain things slipping out upon exit, clean yourself out with an anal douche before you play. Do this earlier in the day, however, so you can be sure everything is out beforehand. If you’re serious about being clean, you can also stop eating about 12 hours before the fun begins. It may not be the easiest way to prep, but many porn stars do it before a big anal scene to make sure they are nice and clean. And if something does happen, well, that’s what the towels are for.
Smooth Lube
Fisting requires more lube than you can imagine. Let’s dive into the different types of lube before you dive into, well, you get the point.
Vaginal Fisting: The vagina lubricates itself naturally, which does help, but it’s still not nearly enough when something as big as a fist is going in. Hybrid lubes are best (water and silicone mix) because they’re super slippery and gentle enough not to irritate the delicate vaginal skin. Sliquid and Liquid Silk are two good options to consider.
Anal Fisting: Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t lubricate itself, so lube with staying power is essential. Silicone and oil-based lubricants can offer the stickiness you need without irritating the anus. Boy Butter is one great option.
Crisco: This one is trendy but doesn’t smell very good, and it’s not compatible with latex condoms. It can also cause vaginal irritation, so if you want to go the natural route, try coconut oil instead.
Numbing Lube: Most experts urge consumers to stay away from lubricants that contain numbing agents because it makes it hard for your partner to know if something doesn’t feel right. No one wants to end up with surprise trauma at the end of what they thought was a great fisting session, so skip the numbing lube at all costs.
Prepping the Fister
The fistee isn’t the only one who has some prep work to do. If you’re the person doing the fisting, be sure to wash your hands and arms before going in, and remove anything that could scratch or otherwise injure your partner. Clip your fingernails, and remove all nail polish, jewelry, and anything else that could harm these sensitive areas during the act. If you don’t want to remove your nail polish or want to be super careful, you can also slip on the handy fisting mitt mentioned above. Listening is the most crucial part of being a good fisting partner, so come prepared to hear your partner out when something feels good or not. Ensure they know they have full control of the situation; this will help them relax so you can get in easier.
Take it Slow
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you can’t expect yourself to take in a whole fist in a day, either. Prepare yourself with various-sized sex toys alone or using one finger at a time with a partner. If you’re serious about anal fisting, invest in an anal training kit to get you ready for backdoor intimacy. Either way, don’t forget the lube, and remember to add more as you go up in size. Some people are unable to take a whole fist their first time, and that’s ok. Once you make it happen, ensure the exit is just as slow as the entry to avoid any trauma.
The Importance of Aftercare
After being fisted for the first time, the fistee is going to need some aftercare whether you did it vaginally or anally. There shouldn’t be any pain if you did things right (taking it easy, using enough lube, etc.), but some soreness is normal after the first time. Keep the area lubricated and if you need to take some over-the-counter pain reliever, then, by all means, do it. If you’re the fister, check in with the fistee over the following days to see how they’re feeling and let them know you had a good time.
For more tips on anal and vaginal fisting, check out the Adult FriendFinder Member Advice Lines!
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