Tag: kink

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Tips for Car Sex And Sexual Road Adventures

Over the last few years, travel dates have become increasingly popular among those looking to expand their sexual horizons without the need to visit crowded airports, bus terminals, and train stations. Naturally, that gives rise to a renewed interest in road head, car sex, and all kinds of other automotive action. So let’s take a closer look at the art of getting busy between the bumpers!

Play Safe by Going Off-Road

Sex in the fast lane may sound exciting, but it can also be dangerous. Playing on a private road, pulling over, or finding a romantic parking space at a scenic stop is a much safer move.

Find the Right Soundtrack

You’ve got a sound system to work with, so don’t just leave the radio on and listen to commercials while she goes down on you. Instead, find the right playlist on your phone and use it to amplify the eroticism of the moment.

Stretching Matters 

If you’re in a spacious RV, road sex can be a lot like quality time in a full-size bedroom, but if you are trying to get busy in the backseat of a Camry, you may end up in some awkward positions. Nobody wants to cramp up at the moment of glory or walk around aching after your interlude is complete. Take a few minutes to stretch out your body before getting in the vehicle, just in case things get frisky.

My Car or Yours?

Give some thought to which vehicle you want to take on your next trip. Climbing across bucket seats and straddling the stick shift may seem exotic the first few times, but if your partner has a big car with more room, you should consider which vehicle is best for your adventures. Sure, a bigger car gets worse gas mileage, but that’s a small price to pay for having access to all your favorite positions without having to hang your head out the window to make room so he can get behind you.

The Best and Worst Vehicles for Sex on the Open Road

Minivan 

Since the earliest days of the VW Love Bus and throughout the hippie era of the 1960s, it has been patently obvious that the second-best vehicle for sex is a minivan. Sure, there are plenty of car enthusiasts who will frown at you for driving a minivan, but millions of soccer moms have been letting their lovers score in the back of their vans instead of standing on a cold sideline in the rain for decades. A few pillows and an air freshener are about all you’ll ever need to turn this bedroom on wheels into the kind of sex coach you’ve been dreaming about since you first saw Cinderella’s pumpkin.

Motorcycle

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you’ll get plenty of fist bumps from other bikers if you take your date out on your motorcycle, but aside from a complete lack of privacy, there’s no way to get road head on a bike safely. Even worse, you’re left with just a small seat to stretch out on if you pull over somewhere secluded to have sex. Even a car hood offers more room to get comfortable than a bike ever will. 

Tesla

It’s a high-end vehicle with a price tag to match, but they’re coming down in price fairly quickly with all kinds of tax incentives and the warm feeling that your ride is helping the environment as well. What makes them appealing for car sex (even though the driver’s manual tells you not to) is their ability to drive themselves. Hands-free steering, even if you’re fully alert and ready to grab the wheel, still makes it easier than ever for your lover to bob her head in your lap without having to be a contortionist. But, of course, try this one at your own risk. 

Limousine

If you really want to have sex in a moving car, the safest and best way to do it is in the back of a Limousine. We don’t recommend sex in a moving vehicle if either of you is driving, sure. But with a driver at the wheel and plenty of room in the back, you and your lover can turn up the music, have a drink, and get into all your favorite sex positions. Be sure to bring some hand wipes for cleanup, however. Most limo drivers won’t mind if you get busy in the back, but nobody wants to clean up the fluids you left on the floor.

Ferrari

What a beautiful piece of automotive imagination, right? Wrong. Nothing is worse than sex in a supercar. The space allocated for each passenger is tiny; they always have individual racing seats and a difficult center console to climb across. Worst of all, when your lover is riding you, the last thing you should be thinking is, “I sure hope she doesn’t make marks with her fingernails on this very expensive headrest.” Leave your Ferrari at home and find something much more practical to fuck in.

Your Current Car

The best car for road sex is definitely the car you have right now. Nobody expects you to go out and buy a new car just for its ability to make road sex easier. Look through your own vehicle, and you’ll find plenty of ways to make it more appealing. For starters, clear out all the clutter so your lover doesn’t trip over the cardboard coffees in your cup holders. Also, find the time to deep clean your car, so it smells nice and maybe get the windows tinted to add a hint of privacy. It’s your car and likely to be your vehicular bedroom, so put a little time and care into it, and your lovers will be glad you did.

The American love affair with the open road has been ongoing for over a century, often commemorated in popular songs of each era and beloved by car groups across the country. It isn’t a coincidence that the passion for cars in this country coincides with the fact that many people have their first sexual encounters in the backseat or on the hood of their partner’s vehicle. So play safe, wear a seatbelt and enjoy all that the open road offers on your next date, whether you’re in the driveway or out on the highway exploring your sense of automotive adventure!

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Turn Your Bedroom Into a DIY Porn Studio

Have you ever wanted to star in your own private porn videos? You might not be quite ready to publish your productions online, but making sex tapes with other consenting playmates can be a stimulating way to spice up your adult dating interactions. The key is setting up your studio, so the videos look as good as professional porn. Thankfully, technology has made it really easy and affordable to do. Here’s how:

Find Some Good Lighting

While some choose to film in lowlight situations, lighting is one of the most important elements of pornography. Whether you’re creating home videos or looking to post here on Adult FriendFinder, lighting can significantly influence how many views, likes, and interactions you get from the videos. However, professional lighting doesn’t need to break the bank, as many hardware stores have basic lighting implements you can use. 

For a softer, more flattering look, place a piece of white paper or fabric over lamps as a budget-friendly way to diffuse the light. Ensure that these aren’t touching the light bulbs themselves and avoid any potential fire hazard, however.

In addition, you can find many affordable light options such as ring lights and studio lamps on Amazon. Having two lights in front of you, next to where the camera is, can be ideal, though some people choose to also put a third light slightly behind the filming area and off to the side. No matter what lighting setup you choose, check your cameras to ensure there’s no annoying glare coming from the lights.

Choosing a Camera

Picking out a camera can seem like quite a task, and the one you select will depend on many variables. Consider your budget when looking into cameras and how many cameras you think you’ll need. Some people use HD cams to record their homemade porn, while others use phones with high-quality video. While these can be excellent for amateur pornography you’re posting on social websites, people looking to make content for public consumption will generally want to look for higher-quality cameras.

Video camcorders are popular, and many DSL cameras also have video features. Look at reviews, and even ask around in the member advice lines to find a top-performing camera for your budget and space. 

Have a Loose Script Or Story

While most viewers like amateur content, because it’s more natural than professional porn, starting with a script or basic outline is still a good idea. A general script with a basic plot to kick off the scene lets viewers know what your scene is about and gives you a guideline to follow as things start heating up. Knowing which sex positions you will try in what order can help everything run more smoothly. Having an idea of what will happen from one transition to the next is a great idea too.

Even if there is a script, talking about safewords and motions that can be used to change the direction of the scene is common with the pros, especially when creating videos with new partners. For example, touching the person’s thigh during doggystyle can mean the person is ready to change positions. If your storyline or script involves costuming, you can also set this up in advance.

Edit Your Videos With Software

While there’s no shortage of amateur scenes out there, even in pornography, these videos are still often edited. For example, the beginning and end are sometimes trimmed a bit, and transitions between different sex positions and angles are sometimes done using specific software types. Editing software is also necessary for people who want to put a watermark on their videos to prevent plagiarism.

In some situations, color, contrast, and other parts of the video can be adjusted to give the mood you’re going for. Also, remember that just like in mainstream movies, sometimes specific parts of porn films are filmed a few different times so creators can take the best sections for the final product.

Find the Perfect Costar

Using your current partner or partners is best, especially if you’re new to making your own porn, because you’ll work best with someone you’re comfortable with. However, if you don’t have a partner in mind, you can also look to the Adult FriendFinder community for new friends who are not only willing to have sex with you on film but get off on it like you wouldn’t believe!

Ponder Positives And Negatives

There are many positives to creating porn, including having fun sex with a variety of people. In addition, some people choose to make porn with their partner and no one else, which can also help them increase intimacy and have an adventure together. That said, once your image is out there, you can’t take it back, so be mindful of where and how you post it. 

Put pictures and videos up on Adult FriendFinder, and they’ll reach many sex-positive people. However, posting videos on a porn tube site could reach millions of people. Some people are hesitant to put their pornography out there to that many people, so choose your spots wisely. 

That said, it’s an exhilarating feeling to be free of the restrictions culture puts on sexuality and public nudity. There are so many things to do regarding sex, and culture can sometimes limit how much people can enjoy it. 

Whether you’re making homemade porn for your collection, to share with others, or put out for general consumption, creating erotic content can be fulfilling, rewarding, and fun. So try it today, and remember to enjoy yourself through it all.

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Foot Fetishes are More Common Than You Think

Feet. Many of us don’t give them much thought, but did you know it’s one of the most common fetishes? In fact, one 2007 study of fetishes showed that the most common fetish in their sample was feet and objects associated with feet, including shoes, pantyhose, and socks. Supporting this study is a thriving market for foot pictures that continues as fetish content becomes more accessible each year. 

So, why are so many people sexually fascinated with feet? Is it something to worry about if you find yourself wanting to suck on toes? Or is it more common than we think?

Let’s look at foot and shoe fetishes and see if we can unpack this.

Who Fantasizes About Feet?

According to Dr. Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute, about 14% of participants in his survey had some kind of sexual fantasy in which feet or toes played a role. Of course, this doesn’t mean they are all foot fetishists, but there’s an interesting breakdown.

First of all, men are more likely to fantasize about feet than women, with the highest percentage, 21%, being gay or bisexual men. And amongst women, lesbian and bisexual women are more likely to be into feet than straight women, at 11% and 5%, respectively.

Maybe this does map to who wears and doesn’t wear high heels. Or perhaps women are just less willing to reveal their fetishes. Which might tell us something about…

Why Feet?

A fetish, or paraphilia, is a kind of conditioning. Your brain becomes trained to associate a specific object with sexual arousal. Feet have several, well, complicated associations. Here are some of the reasons people might go for feet:

  1. It really is about those high heels. We associate certain types of footwear with sexiness and sometimes with sluttiness. Do a Google search on “Sexy shoes,” and you’ll find SexyShoes.com (which sells drag queen shoes, amongst other things), sinfulshoes.com, and all kinds of other sites that specifically associate shoes with being sexy, which can lead to associating the shoes with arousal. Images of women in languorous poses wearing high heels may well explain why men are more likely to go for shoes.
  2. Biology. Feet share nerves with your genitals, which is why some people are turned on by having their feet licked and sucked. Which then provides a great opportunity for people turned on by, well, doing the licking. Feet do have many nerve endings, so you could argue that being attracted to feet is, in fact, perfectly normal.
  3. Dominance/submission. This is where foot fetishes cross over with kink. Being literally at or under a domme’s feet is the turn-on for many men, with the subversion of traditional gender roles. After all, the classic “uniform” of the dominatrix includes amazing boots. Shoes thus end up great toys for dominance games.

So, what makes people foot fetishists?

The tendency to develop a fetish may be genetic. As children, we also see and touch feet a lot, which can result in sexual imprinting, especially in a society where we keep our genitals thoroughly covered. One foot fetishist blames his urges on the fact that a girl he had a crush on once left her sneakers at his house, allowing him to play with them.

Either way, feet are a common fetish target for biological and social reasons, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Does Fantasizing About Feet or Enjoying a Foot Massage Make you a Fetishist?

Enjoying a foot massage, which can be sexual to some people, doesn’t mean you’re a fetishist. Having your feet “treated” is going to feel good; that’s normal.

Most people have unique sexual fantasies. A fetishist needs the involvement of the object they’re fixated on to achieve arousal. So, a foot fetishist is likely to want and need to involve feet and shoes in their foreplay somehow.

Experimenting with foot licking also doesn’t make you a fetishist; it might just be a fun thing to try. But, on the other hand, if you think you have a foot fetish, don’t be afraid to play with it and where it goes. 

Are Foot Fetishes Harmful?

Absolutely not. Somebody who has a foot fetish might look at foot pictures instead of or in addition to regular porn. In fact, some women who wouldn’t otherwise engage in “sex work” will sometimes sell photos of their feet. They might also involve shoes in masturbation and foreplay or buy sex toys that look like feet. (Because, of course, there are foot-shaped pocket pussies out there).

The only time a foot fetish can cause harm is if the person with the fetish seeks a partner who is very much not into having their feet involved in sex, so it’s best to find that out early.

What Kind of Feet Play Might You Want to Try?

So, you think you might have a foot fetish? Or you’re dating somebody with a foot fetish and want to make them happy. Many, but not all, foot fetishists like to lick, suck, and nibble on feet, but there are a few other things you can explore, like the above-mentioned foot-shaped sex toys.

Some foot fetishists are attracted to adorned feet. They might want their partner to get their toenails nails done and wear an anklet or foot jewelry. To people like this, nail paint and foot jewelry are equivalent to getting your partner to wear sexy underwear.

If you’re into shoes, you could try keeping your shoes on or having your partner keep their shoes on, or ceremonially removing shoes much the same way you might undress your partner.

There’s absolutely nothing weird about being into feet, and a lot more of us probably are to some degree than admit it. Like most fetishes, podophilia is entirely harmless. Lots of us have some kind of fetish, and there’s nothing weird or strange about it.

In fact, it’s very healthy to explore your potential fetishes and find other people to practice and celebrate them with! 

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Must-Have Items for Your Kink Drawer

Everyone has one. A shoebox under the bed, a bed stand drawer, or perhaps a massive room most houseguests aren’t allowed to see. 

If you don’t have a drawer full of kinky goodies hiding somewhere but get excited at the thought of having all the sexy delights you can handle at your fingertips, then now is as good a time as any to get started. 

Stocking your kink drawer can be almost as fun as putting your gear to use with your favorite playmates. So let’s look at what every kinkster should have on hand, plus some less known devices that might amp up your creativity the next time you decide to meet up with a like-minded partner for roleplay!

1 – Cuffs

Cuffs and restraints are a must-have item for even the most vanilla bedroom. Why? With over half the population having some fantasy about being restrained or wanting to restrain a sex partner, it’s a very common way to play. 

There are plenty of options for the beginner to become more experienced. If you’ve never tried cuffs before, opt for a pair with fluffy liners and softer materials. The idea here is to keep hands, or maybe ankles restricted, but not necessarily in a painful way. 

As a novice, you’ll want to choose cuffs with big, easy-to-use buckles to start. Sure, it may seem too easy to get out of, but once your hands are covered in lube, you’ll be thankful you went with ease-of-use over there-is-no-way-they-can escape. Also, at least at the start, it’s much more about the feeling of being restricted than being completely unable to free oneself.

Are you feeling a little more adventurous after gaining some experience? Select a tougher material or something that appeals to the fetishist inside you. Leather, rubber, and metal are all available at various price points, with metal being the most expensive. Again, make sure that whatever closing mechanism you choose is simple to use.

If you don’t want to invest in hardware because you have company often or share space, look at something simple like bondage tape. It’s cheap, disposable, and looks like a regular roll of tape when being stored if someone else discovers it in your home. It also won’t hurt the skin coming off.

One important warning for anyone just starting to experiment with cuffs: avoid using police handcuffs or anything with a similar adjustable closing system. You can cause real injury by misusing them, as they’re intended for locking down violent criminals, not for submissives who are desperately seeking orgasm permission from you.

2 – Blindfolds

Like cuffs, blindfolds are a solid mainstay in the toy chest. Sensory deprivation can be a sexy way to heighten sensitivity because they can’t see what you’re doing or what will happen next. Just remember to start slow if you’ve never tried it. For some people, it can be disorienting and may cause anxiety, so as with any kink play, always have a safe word ready ahead of time.

Blindfolds come in various shapes, sizes, and materials, including BDSM-lite fluffy fabrics or leather. A step above standard blindfolds are hoods and masks. These cover the whole head and may include a mouth hole. Low-end hoods are made from Lycra and may or may not have additional layers over the eyes. Once again, listen to your partner and use a safe word when you start experimenting. 

3 – Electric Wands

Available in various styles, Shock Play has gained a lot of popularity recently after a wave of videos on kinky porn sites made the practice popular.

Many low-voltage wands provide just enough pop to earn your partner’s full attention. Be sure you and your partner are healthy enough to engage in kinky sex before trying these devices. Consulting your doctor is always a good idea, especially if you have a pacemaker or other medical device that could be affected.

From a quick orgasm to extensive edging sessions, an electric wand is an incredibly fun toy to play with, and it provides a much more elegant solution for sub-training sessions than a crop or whip ever would. No mess, no marks… just the joy of knowing you hold the ability to focus their attention any time you like, right in the palm of your hand. 

4 – Clamps

Your next step down the kink path is clamps. A clamp is what it sounds like, a mechanism that lets you apply pressure to something. Nipple clamps are the most common kind of sex clamp. They may be the screw type or use springs. Either way, clip them over the nipple and gently let the pressure build up. 

The screw type is probably the best bet for beginners as it lets you keep the pressure adjusted to a tolerable level. While they cost a little more than the regular spring-loaded clamp, you’re more likely to have some success when the pain can be controlled. 

Important safety tip: Makeshift devices like clothespins aren’t a great way to start because they lack the sort of fine-tuning control that real clamps allow. Go with real clamps from a sex toy store, and you’ll be glad you did.

For the adventurous, there are also genital clamps available that use similar mechanisms but come in different sizes and configurations to clamp the specific body part. For example, labia clamps usually come with four clamps and chains to help keep the lips spread open. 

5 – Lube

An often overlooked but critical part of your toy chest is lube. There are many types of lube available, but they all do the same thing. So whether you’re embarking on a marathon sex session, using toys, or trying to put new things inside your partner’s orifices, lube is the key to a successful and pleasurable evening without the risk of friction burns and unnecessary discomfort. 

There are several different types of lube available, and each has its uses. You may stick with one type or have a variety depending on your desires.

Oil Based Lubes – A scented oil-based lube can be used for sensual massages that will help get your lover in the mood and can also be used to help the orifice of your choice prepare for penetration. Oil lubes are great because they don’t get sticky or lose effectiveness. However, they may degrade latex toys and condoms, so they are usually not great for insertion.

Water-Based Lubes – Won’t stain your sheets, won’t damage your toys, washes off easily but doesn’t last as long as other lube types. Very kind to the skin but get a big bottle because you’ll need to reapply often.

Silicon-Based Lubes – Gentle on your skin and hypoallergenic, so it might be a great choice for sensitive partners. It lasts longer than water-based lubes but may degrade silicone toys and make them less sanitary over time. A good choice for skin-to-skin play but not the best for solo toy adventures.

6 – First Aid Kit

While it may not seem like an obvious item to add, just ask any experienced kinkster what they’d bring on their dirty desert island getaway, and they will tell you that a first aid kit is always at the top of their list. That includes a fully charged phone if you need to call an EMT, standard things like band-aids and salves, and other items like calm music for aftercare.

Sure, you will follow the advice other people have given you and have safe words and gestures pre-planned before you start playing with BDSM, but accidents can happen. Let’s face it, two people going at it and rolling around can run even a small risk of a minor muscle pull. Or, if you’re really out of practice, a not so minor one. Once you start playing in the kink arena, those small risks may include the odd bruise or abrasion.

You don’t need anything more than the basics, some antiseptic cream, band-aids, alcohol wipes, etc., but just be sure you have them easily accessible and know where they are ahead of time just in case.

7 – Your Imagination

Most importantly, have an active open imagination and do some planning ahead. The best toy drawer in the world is still completely dependent on its owner to turn inanimate objects into amazing tools of sexual satisfaction!

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An Advanced Guide To Cuckolding

Cuckolding comes in many forms, including BDSM, couple’s cuckolding, and hotwife exploration. Everyone has a slightly different definition of cuckolding, which works for them. This is because cuckolding takes on many different definitions based on what couples are looking for. Whether you are looking to become a single person in a cuckold, or you and a partner or sex friend are looking to get more involved with cuckolding, this advanced guide gives more information about the many aspects of this lifestyle.

Explore What You Are Looking For

There are many ways for people to spice up their sex lives, and some of them choose cuckolding. Cuckolding should not be approached as a quick fix for relationships. Also, note that both people need to be enthusiastically consenting to the cuckolding, in most cases, for it to work out long term. Most forms of cuckolding are a sort of open relationship, where people open up to sex with others. In many cases, the women can have sex with someone outside of their relationship for the mutual enjoyment of themselves and their partner. In contrast, the other person in the relationship might not have this ability as the cuckold. Again, cuckolding can take on multiple qualities, so it is essential to discuss it with your partner.

Two Types Of Cuckolding

Couples cuckolding brings a format that most often has the woman not needing her husband, boyfriend, or sexual partner’s approval in choosing the other male. Their input is not the focus; short-term physical enjoyment is the focus. The possible first dates for couples cuckolding may involve meeting up for sex rather than drinks, food, or talking things out. However, some conversations still need to happen, including birth control, boundaries, limits, STI testing, and more. In some cases, this is done online.

BDSM cuckolding is another form, which can take more time overall to organize. The husband/boyfriend tends to have more input in this, and there is often a date or get-together beforehand where people can chat. Planning may be a bit more intricate, as there may be other BDSM elements introduced to the cuckolding experience. Whether spanking, paddling, roleplay humiliation, or someone is licking the cum out of another person’s pussy or cleaning the woman’s wetness off the other guy’s cock, there are thousands of options for how BDSM cuckolding can work. Having solid communication about safety and boundaries is essential for protecting the relationship and for increased comfort levels and safety overall.

What If The Women Is Shy About Cuckolding?

For some people, the idea of cuckolding can be overwhelming. Approaching the conversation with tact is essential in this case. Some people also worry about whether the relationship will survive the experience. This can increase the amount of caution they have when actively seeking the cuckolding out. It is essential to talk about reluctance, do research, and only proceed with the experience when both people are comfortable. This pays dividends in the long run, as she will need to be comfortable talking about her needs, wants, and desires. To communicate effectively, she needs to be comfortable in the experience. Increasing comfort levels can also positively impact her enjoyment and is key to having multiple experiences. Women who are shy often still try out cuckolding, as it is something that they are interested in. Finding a cuckold experience is similar to finding threesomes in some ways; both can use similar resources. If she says yes to the experience, talk with her about the types of people she would be most interested in, whether or not she is okay with you watching, and how to build into the experience slowly and with the most amount of comfort possible.

Setting Up Boundaries

Cuckolding conversations come with talks about boundaries. Threesome boundaries tend to focus more on protecting the existing relationship, building trust, and providing a sense of well-being by ensuring that needs are met. Cuckolding boundaries are different. Physical safety is essential, and protecting the relationship while communicating information is also vital. Talking about possible limits and boundaries in advance is also crucial. Moving outside of these boundaries and limitations could be considered cheating, so make sure to communicate your needs, wants, desires, boundaries, and limits well. In many cases, people should revisit this conversation a few times before their first cuckolding experience. Also, keep in mind that this conversation can be revisited at any point, as relationships and philosophies behind cuckolding can change over time.

Finding Cuckolds

The search experience is different than finding a person for a threesome. Cuckolding is more about how the couple relates to each other rather than how they relate to the invited male. That said, there are cuckolding couples who look for specific qualities while seeking a third person for sex fun. Whether you are looking for a one-time experience, a regular cuckolding partner, or people who might be interested in having group sex after, Adult FriendFinder has many options, and you can use your account to find them.

Cuckolding Is Not Gendered

Cuckolding is not gendered, and a man does not have to be the cuckold. It is possible to enjoy any of the ideas of cuckolding regardless of who is watching. It is also possible to enjoy cuckolding without actually sleeping with anyone else. There are many ways to enjoy it, including via live cam, dirty talk, roleplay, and more.

Choosing The Other Person

In many cases, the woman chooses the other male, but sometimes they ask their husband, boyfriend, or sex partner for advice. Depending on the experience she is seeking, many different types of males can be considered. The boyfriend/husband/sex partner’s involvement should be agreed upon in advance, and in most cases, should be limited. However, there are elements of BDSM cuckolding where he may have a larger impact.

Aftercare Is Essential

Whether you are doing BDSM cuckolding or couples cuckolding, aftercare is essential. Talk about what your needs may be after the cuckolding session. Keep in mind that your needs, wants, and desires in terms of aftercare may change over time. For many people, it is cuddling, sleeping in the same bed together, or expressing love or words of affirmation for one another after. There are plenty of other options for aftercare as well.

Final Notes

Conversation, consent, and awareness are essential with many different types of cuckolding. For some people, their cuckolding fantasy involves a wife with many male lovers outside of her loving relationship. Sometimes it is about domination, where the dominating wife does roleplay humiliation on her husband by taking another lover. Sometimes the husband is in the room watching, and other times she is out having dates and going back to the other guy’s place to get it on before returning to her husband.

Cuckolding can also take the form of a wife wanting to know what it’s like to have sex with someone outside of a relationship and experience other men. Discussing comfort levels, limits, boundaries, and expectations is important, and people in cuckolding relationships need to be comfortable with the concept. Cuckolding can bring massive pleasure, hard orgasms, better overall communication, and other benefits to people’s lives. Talk with other members of Adult FriendFinder about it now; the cuckolds here love to chat about their experiences!

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The Psychology Behind Cuckolding and Why Men Enjoy It

Traditionally, the word cuck (cuckold) referred to a man whose wife was having a sexual affair behind his back. 

The word cuckolding was derived from the cuckoo bird, which has a habit of laying its eggs in other bird’s nests and was metaphorically used to allude to a woman laying with a man who is not the husband, or what we now know as adultery.     

Today, cuckolding is known as a sexual fetish in which the cuck gets sexually aroused by watching their partner (the hotwife/cuckoldress) engage in sexual intimacy with another person (the bull). It’s not restricted to a heterosexual relationship, meaning any couple can jump at it, provided they are both comfortable doing so.

Cuckolding is indeed a form of BDSM, but you might be surprised to know that some couples use it to build stronger and happier marriages.

The Psychology Behind Cuckolding

From a psychological perspective, cuckolding is meant to arouse feelings of humiliation and inadequacy in the partner who is being cuckolded. The subconscious inadequacy could have formed early in life due to lack of privacy, abusive parents, lack of attention, or narcissistic parents. The humiliation plays a significant role in the power-play dynamic, which arouses the cuck, fulfilling his fetish. 

There are different levels of cuckolding, like any other fetish, depending on how far the partners are willing to go. If you’re not comfortable with the thought of watching your partner have sex with another person, you may derive pleasure from listening to them flirt explicitly without getting physical. The details of their sexual fantasies or previous sexual experiences can be an excellent way to dip your toe into cuckolding if you’re scared to go all the way at first.

If you don’t mind trying a higher level, you can watch your partner flirt with another person in a bar or watch them make out. Even more interesting, you can instruct the bull on what to do to your partner, watch from a distance or even join in and make it a threesome, because why not? Whichever level you decide on, make sure both you and your partner are game before you get started.

Why Do Men Love to be Cucks?

Some men enjoy being sexually humiliated and feeling inadequate for their partners. The fetish turns deep-rooted feelings of insecurity and inadequacy into sexual pleasure. Primarily it’s based on the woman’s (or partner’s) ability to enjoy sex with the bull rather than with their partner (the cuck.) Losing control, moaning harder, orgasming, and letting loose scales the levels of inadequacy in the partner, causing them to become more aroused.

Some men also enjoy cuckolding as it’s a safe space to release their deep sexual desires. It demands high levels of communication between partners, which leads to a more powerful, playful, and emotionally intimate relationship. Plus, it spices up the act of sex by engaging in fantasy play, making sex more intense and more pleasurable.

What do Cucks Get out of Watching their Partners have sex with the bull?

Pleasure, and lots of it! Some also say that it doubles as a stress reliever because it rips away the expectations of having to satisfy your partner, opening both you and your partner to a pool of explorations.

Cuckolding fanatics also say it helps them explore their sexuality and keep sex fun and novel. The cuckoldress is given the dominance and right to have sex with other people while the cuck remains loyal. The roles are, however not fixed, and can thus be switched at any time. You can also give the bull dominance while in action to shake things up a bit.

The Downsides of Cuckolding and How to Avoid Them

Any game of power can be dangerous, and one involving intimacy is even worse. Cuckolding can push one past their sexual and psychological limit, causing the relationship to go south. One might be up to trying it but halfway realize they weren’t ready for it, only to feel upset that once your partner engages in sex with another person (the bull), it can’t be reversed.

To avoid such, make sure that you both understand the consequences before you dive in. Also, make sure to maintain open communication between you and your partner, both before and after cuckolding. If someone gets uncomfortable and decides to stop halfway, the others should respect their decision. It would also help if your relationship is not founded on toxic monogamy and jealousy, and both of you are on the same page when it comes to exploring wild and freakier fetishes.

Common Questions to ask the “Hot Wife” after Cuckolding

The goal of cuckolding is to make the cuck feel inadequate in satisfying their partner, which in turn satisfies their fetish. For this reason, they tend to ask the cuckoldress some explicit questions to help scale up the inadequacy.

The questions include:

– Did he fuck you better than me?

– Did you enjoy his cock?

– Is his cock bigger than mine?

– Did he cum inside you?

– Did he penetrate deeper than me?

– Did you tongue kiss?

– Did his cock fit in your mouth?

– Was his tongue game better than mine?

– What freaky thing did he do to you?

Are you ready?

If you’re ready to try cuckolding and hotwifing for yourself, the Adult FriendFinder advice lines are a great place to start. You can interact with people from all experience levels who live the lifestyle and love to offer guidance to those looking to explore! 

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Pain & Impact Play for Beginners

BDSM has many elements, and one of the most exciting is pain and impact play. If you’re new to the scene and want a few tips before you dive into the world of pain and impact play, here’s a quick lesson to get you started.

BDSM for Beginners

Let’s start with the basics. First, we have spanking, usually done with a bare hand. There are many positions for spanking, but the most favored is probably over the knee, or “OTK,” which you can typically find in many domestic and naughty school/ professor scenes. If you have a spanking fetish, then be prepared for a red ass and maybe even some bruising, but don’t worry too much as you can always use arnica gel to heal them faster.

Tools That Get the Job Done

Now let’s move on to implements you can use to turn someone’s butt red and make them moan. Floggers, for example, are a popular implement of torment. The medieval term for flogger is “scourge,” and yes, these toys did have religious implications at one time. However, the “scourge” was initially used to harvest wheat in Ancient Egypt, not beat people up for fun in the bedroom. It wasn’t until the Middle Ages that floggers were used as a punishment for those who veered from the path of “rightiousness.” These days, floggers are used more for fun than anything else, and there are lots of different varieties. There are soft ones made of lush materials like deerskin, hard ones made from rough shoelaces, and even chains.

A single tail whip is probably the most recognizable implement of torture, thanks to that heroic movie character from the 80s who cracked his whip to intimidate his foes. It’s usually smaller than a bullwhip but long enough to cause fear. The great thing about a single tail is you can control the distance between you and the other person, thus giving them greater or lesser amounts of pain as you see fit. However, it does require a bit of skill to use, so make sure you get a quick lesson beforehand. 

A Quirt is like a single tail, except it has two tails on its end instead of one. Double the fun!

A Tawse is a Scottish implement of torment once used to punish people who weren’t following the rules. It’s a strip of leather split into two that makes a nice slapping sound against the butt.

When all else fails and your hand gets tired, you can always use a belt. The mere sound of a belt slipping through the loops of their dominant’s pants is enough to make a submissive shudder with anticipation. Just be sure not to hit them with the buckle, and remember to fold the belt in half for maximum control.

A Cat-O-Nine Tails is a cross between a flogger and a whip. It has a bunch of ends but a thick handle similar to a single tail. It can pack quite a punch, but it’s also fun to play and experiment with. 

There’s also a Dragontail which is pretty great for beginners because it’s one long piece of triangle fabric you can unleash onto your willing subs.

When you don’t know what to hit someone with, you could also try a flip flop. In Hispanic cultures, this is often called La Chancla. Whatever you call it, it’s a fun way to hit someone with an object that you probably already have lying around your house. Other people have used a slipper or a soft sneaker to hit someone’s bottom for fun, though we recommend you not use something you wear in public on someone’s bare ass.

Finally comes the “big daddy” when it comes to hitting people — the cane. This device is a rod, also known as a switch. In the olden days, people used real tree branches, but now they are rods made of bamboo, metal, and other materials. There are even some rubber ones that pack quite a punch. These items are sure to leave a mark, so make sure to touch in with your sub before you mark them.

Safety First

If you want to get into these types of play, you should start by finding an experienced play partner to show you the ropes. Pain and impact play is fun, but you have to do it properly to prevent serious injury. 

Next, do your research on the safety aspects, as there are certain parts of the body you shouldn’t hit and others that are just fine to lash. For example, you want to avoid the lower back area where the kidneys are and some other sensitive areas. Then, when you play safely, you’ll feel even more confident in your abilities, and you’ll have more fun than you ever expected! That makes it SO much hotter.

Get Started

If you’re a kinkster or a kinkster in training, log in to your Adult FriendFinder or ALT account now to find a play partner. While you’re at it, check out the member advice lines for tips on how to get started!

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The Difference Between Cuckolding and Hotwifing

Have you ever heard of compersion? It’s a term frequently used in the polyamorous community to describe the feeling of happiness one gets from their partner enjoying a sexual encounter with someone else.

The fuck my wife/hotwife and cuckolding fetishes take these fantasies to the extreme; however they are somewhat different from each other.

The Difference Between Cuckolding and Hotwifing

Hotwifing is when a woman gets fucked by another guy at the encouragement of her husband. He gets pleasure from watching and listening to the act, while she gets pleasure from feeling desired by another man. Though hotwifing is often done at the encouragement of the male partner, both parties receive a lot of enjoyment from it.

It can be as simple as inviting another guy to the house for a good time or the woman being passed around at a swinger’s party. Either way, it’s all about having fun. 

Cuckolding is a bit more intense. It’s a similar idea in which the wifey still gets pounded by tons of other people, but in this scenario, the husband is a tormented sub who remains under lock and key during the act. In some cases, he even gets his cock locked up in a chastity device and maybe gets to cum while he watches his wife get fucked by a stud from a cage in the corner. But, of course, cuckolding doesn’t always have to get so extreme — it can just be a husband who doesn’t get to fuck his wife while someone else does.

Cuckolding Fetishes

There are different fetishes even within the cuckolding world. For example, there’s a big focus on interracial cuckolding in which husbands stand in the corner while their wives get pounded by a massive BBC. That brings us to the next subset of cuckolding: the small penis aspect. 

Another type of fetish is called SPH or small penis humiliation, in which men with small penises love to be told how pathetic and useless they are, and that’s the reason why their wives have to find bigger dicks to satisfy them. 

There can also be a feminization fetish with cuckolding that involves the cuck dressing up as a sissy maid or just wearing women’s panties around the house. In most cases, the cuckold sub usually takes on many household chores and makes sure that everything is how his “miss” would like it. He does it in the hopes that she will grant him some pleasure even though he knows he’s not worthy at all.

There can be any number of BDSM games played in a cuckolding relationship. There can be bondage or no bondage. It can be rather vanilla, or it can be kinky as hell. It’s a fun game that can be played for an evening or a lifetime. In many cases, especially in relationships with feminization, a cuck mistress will use her strap-on cock to fuck her husband in the ass instead of using his cock for her pleasure. 

So, what are the major differences between a hotwife and a cuckold relationship?

In a hotwife relationship, the man is usually more in control, but it’s not to humiliate or subjugate the woman. Instead, the husband usually picks out the potential partners, provides his wife with lingerie and outfits to wear for the big event, and they may even direct the stud to do certain things to his wife as he watches.

With cuckolding, the woman is always in charge, picks out her own lovers, and does whatever she wants — much to the enjoyment and chagrin of her submissive charge.

Some cucks come to the lifestyle through real-life circumstances. For example, they find out their wife is cheating on them, and for some reason, it arouses them. The whole situation torments and excites them, and while they have a real choice in the matter, they love feeling like they don’t.

In general, cuckolds tend to have more lust for their partners after they’ve been with someone else. No one knows why this aberrance from the norm has evolved, but some people have theories related to evolution and the continuation of the species. If you’re not sufficient as a man, you don’t want to pass on your seed. You’d rather see your wife getting banged by a strapping hot muscular guy, right? It makes sense from a caveman perspective, at the very least.

Bringing the Fantasy to Life

Whether you’re a hopeful cuck who wants to meet a mistress or a hotwife husband who wants to find more studs for your wife to get pounded by, you’ve come to the right place. Adult FriendFinder and ALT.com have a thriving community of cucks and hotwives who want to play and advise those looking to explore these fetishes. 

Check out the member advice lines now and get started! 

 

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What Is the Connection Between Pain and Sexual Pleasure?

According to a report published by authors of The Journal of Sex Research, pain can help you focus your attention away from burdensome day-to-day responsibilities. Typically, rough play during intense sex sessions acts as part of escapism.

In another report published in 2015, many people report that engaging in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism (BDSM) enhanced their erotic experiences. They were able to escape from daily stress and worries.

Pain and Pleasure Are Connected

Pain and pleasure have the same physiological effects, and the two activate the same receptors in your brain. The brain perceives the endorphins produced during painful or rough experiences as pleasurable. Additionally, epinephrine and norepinephrine release stimulates a pleasurable rush in your body. Other hormones produced during BDSM include serotonin, melatonin, adrenaline, and anandamide. Adrenaline is primarily responsible for raising your excitement levels and heart rate, while anandamide is a bliss chemical that gives you a fuzzy feeling.

The hormones or chemicals released during painful sessions bind to similar receptors as marijuana products and produce that warm and high feeling during wild sex sessions. The feelings allow you to submit your body to your partner, allow their words and whims to calm your nerves, and achieve electric orgasms.

Why Is BDSM a Pleasurable Fetish Activity?

Do you fantasize about getting kinky or exploring your sexual power and control? BDSM can allow you to tap into your innermost wild feelings, express a free spirit, and have toe-curling orgasms. The book, Fifty Shades of Grey, which has managed to sell an average of 100 million copies, proves the interest in the kinky and wild game BDSM.

Ideally, most people are fascinated by the idea of dominating their partner in the bedroom. BDSM may seem like an extreme game, and many people are shy to share their experiences. However, for centuries, people have used fetish play to explore their sexual dynamics more profoundly. In today’s society, the game is quite prevalent in pop culture.

Roleplaying in BDSM

There are endless types of roleplaying in the BDSM fetish play. Typically, it involves one partner being dominant while the other one is submissive. Chains and whips inflict pain on the individual and help explore a wide range of intense and erotic expressions. It is important to note that the roleplay should be voluntary to experience a wild spiritual experience.

Some common BDSM forms most prevalent include bondage, impact, sensation, wax, or sensory deprivation. People say that the pleasurable pain of the fetish game leads to an endorphin rush, which makes the process wild, and the partner can be able to submit their body and mind into the erotic sexual feelings.

 

What Is Subspace During Painful Stimulations

A subspace is an intricate reaction to pain stimulation. It primarily involves mixing a meditative state and biochemical reaction, and the submissive partner is likely to experience intense feelings. There is a change of consciousness state, and you perceive the external world differently.

The production of adrenaline and endorphin hormones is closely linked to causing the subspace. These hormones will work like an intoxicant that alters pain sensation and judgment. To ensure the submissive partner remains in the subspace and is emotionally and physically safe, you must ensure the pain sensation scene is safe.

To remain in the subspace, you must identify what can make you flow into that sub-space. You should communicate with your partner how you should flow in the subspace to mitigate the risk of the painful sensations turning to something unbearable.

 

What Is Top-Space During Painful Stimulations

The top-space is an area of sharpness where you have attained a clear instinct towards the painful stimulation. Your focus is clear, and you have a clear connection with your partner. In this phase, you have zero or minimal contact with the external environment. Typically, you are in another reality dominated by intense pleasure, erotic moments, and wild sexual feelings.

During BDSM, the top-space is the hallmark of the fetish game, and you have blocked all possible distractions. The key to achieving maximum pleasure is to go slow and enjoy each moment.

Possible Benefits of Pain and Pleasure

There is an innumerable number of psychological benefits of experiencing pleasure after sensations of pain. But, it is critical to note that some types of pain, such as being cut by a knife or surgery, are very unpleasant.

For pain sensations to result in pleasure, you must also experience positive emotions. For instance, when having sex with your partner, the positive emotions from your connection and excitement will entirely block any pain sensations experienced during rough play.

Also, if you voluntarily experience pain during sex or rough play, it will have some psychological effects such as better bonding. According to a report from two studies, couples who engaged in sadomasochistic acts had a heightened interpersonal bonding, and their level of emotional trust dramatically skyrocketed.

Another primary reason for indulging in pain stimulations during intimate sessions is to escape from reality. The rough play and fetish BDSM play will help distract your mind and lead you away to the world of eternal pleasure. Also, painful stimulations help to reduce the level of physiological stress in the body. Escaping to the world of fantasy has the potential of decreasing the stress hormone cortisol in individuals who are submissive to the BDSM play.

Also, the submissive partner will experience feelings of peacefulness and reduction of pain. At the same time, those in control of the play experience heightened levels of focus, the maximum performance of a task, and temporary loss of self-consciousness.

Experience Erotic Pain and Pleasure

If you are interested in diving into the world of intense pleasure and satisfaction, you can check out the member interest group on Adult FriendFinder. You will find notorious people who are not shy to introduce you to the ropes and help you explore your secret sex fetish and fantasies on this site. Fulfill your sexual desires by trying out painful and erotic BDSM stimulations with your partner.

 

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Experimenting With Rope Bondage Safely Is HOT

Dating enthusiasts have started to wonder aloud what the “new normal” will look like in a post-pandemic dating world. From the surveys and data available in the Adult FriendFinder community anonymously, we can piece together some of the upcoming trends in the kinkster community. One that has clearly gained immense popularity as of late is Rope Bondage play.

Rope Bondage has become so popular lately that Cosmopolitan Magazine recently did a multi-page spread explaining 14 Rope Bondage Sexual Positions to their readers. While that title is titillating, we found it a bit scary that they made very little reference to the sorts of safety precautions novices need to know if they want to enjoy safe, fun, and satisfying rope play. So, we have taken it upon ourselves to ask the Adult FriendFinder dating community experts about their rope play best practices for your benefit.

5 Important Things To Know As Novice Rope Bondage BDSM Playmates

 

1 Know Your Experience Level And Play Accordingly

Maybe you’ve seen rope play in a few porn videos. Perhaps you read a book or two that mentioned certain types of rope bondage in an excerpt. In the nicest way possible, we need to say that doesn’t make you a rope bondage expert… yet! Take the time to practice, and understand that rope experts have devoted hundreds or thousands of hours to mastering the nuances of each knot, so they know precisely how much pressure is being exerted at each point of rope play on their submissives. It’s great to be a novice, and learning should be celebrated at every step along your sexual journey.

2 You Can Learn A Lot Online From Rope Experts

In some larger cities, you may be able to find rope play classes among the local kink community. There are also many rope experts available to you online. It’s not the sort of thing that will be commonplace on a YouTube DIY channel, but in a kinkster dating community like Adult FriendFinder, there’s never a shortage of rope experts willing to share what they’ve learned with novices that are following in their footsteps. Be ready to ask questions and be open to listening to answers. Take what you can use and be patient with yourself as you become an expert yourself, and eventually, as you be able to share what you’ve learned with others.

3 You Can Always Tighten More Later

Ask any carpenter about woodworking, and they are bound to mention the old adage “measure twice, cut once.” That’s because you can always cut more later, but you can’t easily turn two pieces of wood back into one. That analogy is even more important when it comes to rope play. Whatever positions you try or style of rope play you’re discovering, it’s important to always keep in mind that a rope can easily be tightened at any point, but if you go too tight, you may cause unintentional pain or damage before you can loosen the knots again. Always start light and gradually tighten up your ties as you tighten up your skillset. There’s no urgency to reach the pinnacle of bondage from the start, and the slower, more gradual approach adds a level of suspense to suspension play that can be exhilarating in its own way.

4 The Rope Itself Matters Quite A Bit

Rope Bondage isn’t about heading out to a local hardware store and grabbing the first piece of course rope for your next play session. The rope itself matters quite a bit. Some experts prefer wax-coated clothesline to reduce skin friction. Many look for ropes with flat surface areas to avoid unintentional lacerations. Other components of rope play, like lubrication, can make a big difference in certain positions. Take the time to find the right materials because they are every bit as important as finding the right rope play sex partners.

5 Communicate Completely In Advance

Like any other form of bondage, you and your partners must communicate in advance of any play session when it comes to rope play. Always establish a simple safe word and a physical safe motion that your partner can make even after being tied up. Take the time to discuss what you are into, exactly what will happen, and to ensure you and your partners share a similar mindset before you wrap that first length of rope around any part of their trembling bodies.

Is Rope Play For Everyone?

Like many aspects of sex that suddenly become popular, rope play is going through a bit of a spike in the adult dating community these days. However, that doesn’t mean everyone will enjoy it, so be honest with yourself and your partners. If you aren’t into it, say so. If you’re just experimenting, say so. If this is your time to shine because you’ve been waiting to be tied up, say so. The most important part of sex is communicating honestly with your sexual partners before, during, and after every encounter.