Tag: pain

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How to Keep Chronic Pain From Affecting Your Sex Life

Those living with chronic pain suffer in silence, even as they slowly watch their sex life start to deteriorate. It may be difficult to talk about, mainly because there are certain stigmas attached to dealing with chronic pain that many tend to fixate on. However, the truth is that people with chronic pain can have a fulfilling sex life just like everyone else. It may take a little trial and error at first, but good sex is still possible – and encouraged!

Why Sex Matters Even More to Chronic Pain Sufferers

People love sex because, simply put, it feels good. But, pleasure aside, there are other reasons for chronic pain sufferers to have sex regularly. For example, Psychology Today reports that sex actually reduces the number of pain signals sent to the brain. 

In fact, research using fMRI suggests that orgasm blocks or lowers pain levels in women and decreases headache pain. Scientists have also found that sex mediates the relationship between depressive symptoms and back pain. In addition, sexual activity can create other health benefits that are especially useful for those with chronic pain, such as improving sleep and decreasing stress.

People have reported these positive impacts for years, but now science has had a chance to catch up and show concrete proof that there is something to what people have noted after sexual activity. Those who suffer from chronic pain now have a scientific explanation for why they might want sex to relieve some of that pain. 

How Can Someone With Chronic Pain Enjoy Sex Regularly?

A chronic pain sufferer can still enjoy a healthy sex life if they work with their partner to ensure they’re on the same page and working towards the same goal. The additional levels of communication between the partners will undoubtedly help with certain aspects of intimacy that not everyone gets to enjoy with their partners. In addition, it means that you have the chance to potentially reach a point where you can speak freely with one another about all matters related to your sexual activities without shame or judgment. 

Here are a few ways that you might get to enjoy sex with a partner who suffers from chronic pain: 

Engage in Foreplay – Long makeout sessions, sexual touching, and other types of foreplay can all benefit you and your partner when attempting to come up with new ways to engage with one another sexually. You can potentially strike a balance between penetrative sexual activities and the kind of activities that may lead to additional sexual activities in the future. Sometimes, the things a couple does before engaging in sex can be just as exciting as the sex itself.

Self-Gratification Together –  Self-gratification is more manageable for those with chronic pain to engage in because they can access their own body parts more easily while still touching their partner. That said, self-gratification does not always have to be done alone. It can be very sexually satisfying to do this kind of thing together. Many couples say that they enjoy pleasuring themselves with their partner in the room. 

Communicate During Sex – Communicate with your partner about what feels good, what may hurt, and what kind of things you want to try as a couple. Communicating during sex is always advisable anyway, and it’s even more important when engaging with a partner who suffers from chronic pain. It’s not their fault that they suffer from these conditions, and you want to be extra sensitive to their needs at all times. 

Sexual Activity Can Mean a Lot Of Things To a Lot Of People

When it comes to sex, it’s always best to think out of the box. If you have clearly defined what sex is or should be, you may exclude certain activities that you might really enjoy. The danger is that it means you may eliminate certain opportunities for fulfillment and bonding with a partner. 

Healthtalk.org reported that some chronic pain sufferers were highly concerned that their inability to have sexual intercourse was unfair to their partner, and they worried about how their partner would respond. As it turns out, most partners were understanding of the situation and willing to work with a person they love to find other ways to be intimate. 

Some alternative activities that carry a level of intimacy include:

  • Cuddling
  • Holding hands
  • Spooning
  • Looking into each other’s eyes
  • Hugging
  • Kissing

Truthfully, virtually any activity that makes the couple feel more bonded together and promotes intimacy is worth pursuing. Unfortunately, people get caught up in societal definitions of certain words or ideas and don’t consider what they and their partners really want. That’s tragic, and we should try to get away from it. We’ll come out better for it if we recognize that we should set our own rules and standards for intimate behaviors. 

If you’re a chronic pain sufferer and are worried about how this might impact your sex life, speak with your partner about it. Also, consult your doctors to see if they have advice about managing the pain and maintaining the level of intimacy with your partner that you would prefer. You’ll put yourself on the right path towards a more fulfilling and healthy sex life.

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How People with Disabilities Can Live Satisfying Sexual Lives

Approximately one billion people, or 15% of the population worldwide, live with some form of disability. On average, people with disabilities are more likely to face adverse social, physical, economic, and sexual disadvantages than people without disabilities.

About Disability and Sexuality

Sadly, the topic of sexuality and disability is taboo for many people without disabilities. They rarely discuss the issue, and consequently, approximately 50% of people with disabilities don’t have a regular sex life.

Research shows that few caregivers have reservations about helping a person with disabilities in the bathroom. However, many are apprehensive about giving advice or supporting people with disabilities in the bedroom.

Despite this being rampant, the truth is that the sex lives of people with disabilities are an issue that requires attention. Unfortunately, their need for assistance to lead satisfying sex lives continues to be disregarded, dismissed, or sidestepped as part of holistic care. It could be attributed to a longstanding stigma that surrounds disability and sex.

People with disabilities are sexual beings with sexual feelings, desires, thoughts, attitudes, and fantasies. Having a physical or intellectual disability doesn’t change their sexuality and desire to express it. According to the World Health Organization, sexuality is a basic human need inseparable from life’s other aspects.

Concerns About Disability and Sexuality

Disability impairs the physical ability to engage in regular sex life, strips individuals of confidence, and increases their worry levels about having sex. They have various concerns about sex, including:

  • Finding a partner
  • Whether the partner finds them attractive
  • Lack of confidence about their sexual performance or ability
  • Less desire and energy for sex
  • Whether they can have children
  • How their body moves or works
  • Fear of what other people will think and the fear of facing discrimination.
  • Concern about pain during sexual activity

These concerns may create frustration about the effects of disability on sexuality. If the concerns are overwhelming, it’s advisable to talk to a healthcare professional for relationship counseling or support for their sexuality.

Navigating Sex with a Disability

Support and information are available for people with disabilities who need help developing relationships and exploring their sexuality. In addition, healthcare professionals are making embryonic efforts to build manuals and tools to help people with disabilities satisfy their sexual needs. 

For example, the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority released guidelines for “Supporting Sexual Health and Intimacy in Care Facilities.” They outline that care facilities have a legal and ethical obligation to recognize, respect, and support clients’ sexual lives.

The United States Consortium for Spinal Cord Medicine also released similar guidelines. As a result, healthcare professionals have a mandate to deal with disability and sexuality openly and proactively.

Some practical solutions to enhancing the sex lives of people with disabilities include:

Care Providers

Many people with disabilities need a part-time or full-time caregiver. Care providers should assist them in getting into a position to have sex, clean them up before and after, and monitor them somehow. Understandably, this can create some fine lines of comfort levels, boundaries, and consent, especially when the person is verbally challenged.

Care providers should drop their judgments and preconceived notions of sex about who and how to have it. This way, they’ll better be able to support their clients to have the best sex and quality of life as a whole.

Sex Workers

There are growing movements worldwide that focus on connecting sex workers with people with disabilities to make the services more accessible. An example is Touching Base, an Australian organization that focuses on access, human rights, discrimination, and legal issues affecting marginalized communities.

Connecting sexual workers with people with disabilities is a double-edged sword, seeing that both communities face certain discrimination sets. However, by bridging this gap, people with disabilities can experience and explore their sexuality. It also helps destigmatize sex workers, painting them as valuable members of society.

In countries where sex work is legal, sex services provided to people with disabilities are a necessary means of support. Some special programs or grants may even fund the programs.

Technology

Technology is an incredible convenience in people’s lives. In sex issues, sex tech or sex toys can mean the difference between having a sex life and not. The market is awash with many sex tools designed to satisfy people who use them. They come in handy for people with disabilities who may not have the ability to thrust, cannot maintain an erection, or have limited dexterity.

Such tools include vibrating cushions, remote-controlled vibrators, wedge pillows, masturbation sleeves, and harnesses. They bring pleasure to the user’s sex life, especially those with a disability.

Sex Surrogates

Sex surrogates are professionally trained sexual partners that practice intimate physical contact with clients for payment. If necessary, the contact includes penetration to help clients work through the sexual problems that hinder them from having a productive sex life.

A psychotherapist supports the process to help the client address past sexual issues affecting the client. These include toxic relationships, sexual abuse, or trauma associated with a difficult birth. Other clients may be adult virgins or lack confidence because of their physical appearance.

Sexual surrogacy works because it addresses issues other therapies can’t, as its scope is broad and goes beyond sexual intercourse.

 

Sex Education

Many people and places overlook the importance of sex education for people with disabilities. The curriculum usually doesn’t include the topic, especially in special education classes.

This creates a problem, especially for those who want to explore their sexual desires but don’t have the information or tools to do it. Basic anatomy and how to navigate safe sexual boundaries are essential topics they need to learn.

Final Thoughts

The above types of interventions can help normalize sexuality for people with disabilities. They also open the floor to talk about normalizing sex beyond the general narrative of the penis and vagina.

Sex can look and feel different for everyone, and the most important thing is to find ways to experience pleasure while having more accessible sex. Adult FriendFinder provides more resources on how people with disabilities can enjoy sex as much as people without disabilities. Visit the Member Advice Lines for more insights.

 

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What Is the Connection Between Pain and Sexual Pleasure?

According to a report published by authors of The Journal of Sex Research, pain can help you focus your attention away from burdensome day-to-day responsibilities. Typically, rough play during intense sex sessions acts as part of escapism.

In another report published in 2015, many people report that engaging in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism (BDSM) enhanced their erotic experiences. They were able to escape from daily stress and worries.

Pain and Pleasure Are Connected

Pain and pleasure have the same physiological effects, and the two activate the same receptors in your brain. The brain perceives the endorphins produced during painful or rough experiences as pleasurable. Additionally, epinephrine and norepinephrine release stimulates a pleasurable rush in your body. Other hormones produced during BDSM include serotonin, melatonin, adrenaline, and anandamide. Adrenaline is primarily responsible for raising your excitement levels and heart rate, while anandamide is a bliss chemical that gives you a fuzzy feeling.

The hormones or chemicals released during painful sessions bind to similar receptors as marijuana products and produce that warm and high feeling during wild sex sessions. The feelings allow you to submit your body to your partner, allow their words and whims to calm your nerves, and achieve electric orgasms.

Why Is BDSM a Pleasurable Fetish Activity?

Do you fantasize about getting kinky or exploring your sexual power and control? BDSM can allow you to tap into your innermost wild feelings, express a free spirit, and have toe-curling orgasms. The book, Fifty Shades of Grey, which has managed to sell an average of 100 million copies, proves the interest in the kinky and wild game BDSM.

Ideally, most people are fascinated by the idea of dominating their partner in the bedroom. BDSM may seem like an extreme game, and many people are shy to share their experiences. However, for centuries, people have used fetish play to explore their sexual dynamics more profoundly. In today’s society, the game is quite prevalent in pop culture.

Roleplaying in BDSM

There are endless types of roleplaying in the BDSM fetish play. Typically, it involves one partner being dominant while the other one is submissive. Chains and whips inflict pain on the individual and help explore a wide range of intense and erotic expressions. It is important to note that the roleplay should be voluntary to experience a wild spiritual experience.

Some common BDSM forms most prevalent include bondage, impact, sensation, wax, or sensory deprivation. People say that the pleasurable pain of the fetish game leads to an endorphin rush, which makes the process wild, and the partner can be able to submit their body and mind into the erotic sexual feelings.

 

What Is Subspace During Painful Stimulations

A subspace is an intricate reaction to pain stimulation. It primarily involves mixing a meditative state and biochemical reaction, and the submissive partner is likely to experience intense feelings. There is a change of consciousness state, and you perceive the external world differently.

The production of adrenaline and endorphin hormones is closely linked to causing the subspace. These hormones will work like an intoxicant that alters pain sensation and judgment. To ensure the submissive partner remains in the subspace and is emotionally and physically safe, you must ensure the pain sensation scene is safe.

To remain in the subspace, you must identify what can make you flow into that sub-space. You should communicate with your partner how you should flow in the subspace to mitigate the risk of the painful sensations turning to something unbearable.

 

What Is Top-Space During Painful Stimulations

The top-space is an area of sharpness where you have attained a clear instinct towards the painful stimulation. Your focus is clear, and you have a clear connection with your partner. In this phase, you have zero or minimal contact with the external environment. Typically, you are in another reality dominated by intense pleasure, erotic moments, and wild sexual feelings.

During BDSM, the top-space is the hallmark of the fetish game, and you have blocked all possible distractions. The key to achieving maximum pleasure is to go slow and enjoy each moment.

Possible Benefits of Pain and Pleasure

There is an innumerable number of psychological benefits of experiencing pleasure after sensations of pain. But, it is critical to note that some types of pain, such as being cut by a knife or surgery, are very unpleasant.

For pain sensations to result in pleasure, you must also experience positive emotions. For instance, when having sex with your partner, the positive emotions from your connection and excitement will entirely block any pain sensations experienced during rough play.

Also, if you voluntarily experience pain during sex or rough play, it will have some psychological effects such as better bonding. According to a report from two studies, couples who engaged in sadomasochistic acts had a heightened interpersonal bonding, and their level of emotional trust dramatically skyrocketed.

Another primary reason for indulging in pain stimulations during intimate sessions is to escape from reality. The rough play and fetish BDSM play will help distract your mind and lead you away to the world of eternal pleasure. Also, painful stimulations help to reduce the level of physiological stress in the body. Escaping to the world of fantasy has the potential of decreasing the stress hormone cortisol in individuals who are submissive to the BDSM play.

Also, the submissive partner will experience feelings of peacefulness and reduction of pain. At the same time, those in control of the play experience heightened levels of focus, the maximum performance of a task, and temporary loss of self-consciousness.

Experience Erotic Pain and Pleasure

If you are interested in diving into the world of intense pleasure and satisfaction, you can check out the member interest group on Adult FriendFinder. You will find notorious people who are not shy to introduce you to the ropes and help you explore your secret sex fetish and fantasies on this site. Fulfill your sexual desires by trying out painful and erotic BDSM stimulations with your partner.