Approximately one billion people, or 15% of the population worldwide, live with some form of disability. On average, people with disabilities are more likely to face adverse social, physical, economic, and sexual disadvantages than people without disabilities.
About Disability and Sexuality
Sadly, the topic of sexuality and disability is taboo for many people without disabilities. They rarely discuss the issue, and consequently, approximately 50% of people with disabilities don’t have a regular sex life.
Research shows that few caregivers have reservations about helping a person with disabilities in the bathroom. However, many are apprehensive about giving advice or supporting people with disabilities in the bedroom.
Despite this being rampant, the truth is that the sex lives of people with disabilities are an issue that requires attention. Unfortunately, their need for assistance to lead satisfying sex lives continues to be disregarded, dismissed, or sidestepped as part of holistic care. It could be attributed to a longstanding stigma that surrounds disability and sex.
People with disabilities are sexual beings with sexual feelings, desires, thoughts, attitudes, and fantasies. Having a physical or intellectual disability doesn’t change their sexuality and desire to express it. According to the World Health Organization, sexuality is a basic human need inseparable from life’s other aspects.
Concerns About Disability and Sexuality
Disability impairs the physical ability to engage in regular sex life, strips individuals of confidence, and increases their worry levels about having sex. They have various concerns about sex, including:
- Finding a partner
- Whether the partner finds them attractive
- Lack of confidence about their sexual performance or ability
- Less desire and energy for sex
- Whether they can have children
- How their body moves or works
- Fear of what other people will think and the fear of facing discrimination.
- Concern about pain during sexual activity
These concerns may create frustration about the effects of disability on sexuality. If the concerns are overwhelming, it’s advisable to talk to a healthcare professional for relationship counseling or support for their sexuality.
Navigating Sex with a Disability
Support and information are available for people with disabilities who need help developing relationships and exploring their sexuality. In addition, healthcare professionals are making embryonic efforts to build manuals and tools to help people with disabilities satisfy their sexual needs.
For example, the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority released guidelines for “Supporting Sexual Health and Intimacy in Care Facilities.” They outline that care facilities have a legal and ethical obligation to recognize, respect, and support clients’ sexual lives.
The United States Consortium for Spinal Cord Medicine also released similar guidelines. As a result, healthcare professionals have a mandate to deal with disability and sexuality openly and proactively.
Some practical solutions to enhancing the sex lives of people with disabilities include:
Care Providers
Many people with disabilities need a part-time or full-time caregiver. Care providers should assist them in getting into a position to have sex, clean them up before and after, and monitor them somehow. Understandably, this can create some fine lines of comfort levels, boundaries, and consent, especially when the person is verbally challenged.
Care providers should drop their judgments and preconceived notions of sex about who and how to have it. This way, they’ll better be able to support their clients to have the best sex and quality of life as a whole.
Sex Workers
There are growing movements worldwide that focus on connecting sex workers with people with disabilities to make the services more accessible. An example is Touching Base, an Australian organization that focuses on access, human rights, discrimination, and legal issues affecting marginalized communities.
Connecting sexual workers with people with disabilities is a double-edged sword, seeing that both communities face certain discrimination sets. However, by bridging this gap, people with disabilities can experience and explore their sexuality. It also helps destigmatize sex workers, painting them as valuable members of society.
In countries where sex work is legal, sex services provided to people with disabilities are a necessary means of support. Some special programs or grants may even fund the programs.
Technology
Technology is an incredible convenience in people’s lives. In sex issues, sex tech or sex toys can mean the difference between having a sex life and not. The market is awash with many sex tools designed to satisfy people who use them. They come in handy for people with disabilities who may not have the ability to thrust, cannot maintain an erection, or have limited dexterity.
Such tools include vibrating cushions, remote-controlled vibrators, wedge pillows, masturbation sleeves, and harnesses. They bring pleasure to the user’s sex life, especially those with a disability.
Sex Surrogates
Sex surrogates are professionally trained sexual partners that practice intimate physical contact with clients for payment. If necessary, the contact includes penetration to help clients work through the sexual problems that hinder them from having a productive sex life.
A psychotherapist supports the process to help the client address past sexual issues affecting the client. These include toxic relationships, sexual abuse, or trauma associated with a difficult birth. Other clients may be adult virgins or lack confidence because of their physical appearance.
Sexual surrogacy works because it addresses issues other therapies can’t, as its scope is broad and goes beyond sexual intercourse.
Sex Education
Many people and places overlook the importance of sex education for people with disabilities. The curriculum usually doesn’t include the topic, especially in special education classes.
This creates a problem, especially for those who want to explore their sexual desires but don’t have the information or tools to do it. Basic anatomy and how to navigate safe sexual boundaries are essential topics they need to learn.
Final Thoughts
The above types of interventions can help normalize sexuality for people with disabilities. They also open the floor to talk about normalizing sex beyond the general narrative of the penis and vagina.
Sex can look and feel different for everyone, and the most important thing is to find ways to experience pleasure while having more accessible sex. Adult FriendFinder provides more resources on how people with disabilities can enjoy sex as much as people without disabilities. Visit the Member Advice Lines for more insights.
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