Tag: sex tips

Posted on

How Cybersex Has Changed Since the 90s

To say that cybersex has evolved since its beginnings in the early 1990s is a huge understatement. Once a taboo topic only discussed for shock value on late-night cable shows, cybersex is now a popular topic in mainstream media.

So what brought about this steady rise in popularity? Changing attitudes towards sex, technological advances, and global events like the COVID-19 pandemic have contributed to the growth of cybersex.

With humble beginnings involving text-based chat, picture sharing, and more simple interactions, cybersex has evolved to be much more sophisticated. Sites like Adult FriendFinder have long been hotspots for horny people looking to engage in sexual behavior virtually with people from across the world. Now, people have access to live sex cams, adult XXX games, more advanced text-based chatting, and more.

What Is Cyber Sex?

The most simple definition of cybersex is two or more people connected for sexual fun virtually, using a computer or mobile device. Other words used interchangeably with “cybersex” include cybering, Internet sex, computer sex, tiny sex, and virtual sex.

While technology has made cybersex far more pleasurable over the years, its roots stem from the early 90s, when phone sex hotlines were one of the most popular ways people used to experience casual sex with people who weren’t in the same location.

Since the early 2000s, cybersex was elevated once again by model webcam sites such as Camistocks.com. Suddenly, people could masturbate on camera while watching someone else, and the visual appeal of this medium made cybersex more popular than ever. With newer technology coming out each year, the options are endless. Virtual reality devices, remote control sex toys, and other interactive technologies have brought even more options for cybersex fans.

It All Started With Chat Rooms

Messaging directly between two people has been available for quite some time, though cybersex really took off in the 1990s with the advent of chatrooms. Chat rooms helped people connect, all-in-one place, over mutual interests. With topics covered like online gaming, movies, television shows, music, and more, chat rooms became places for people to hang out and get to know one another anonymously. However, it didn’t take long for people to figure out that it was also a great way to get naughty with strangers. In these NSFW chat rooms, people could share these things publicly or through private messaging. Of course, capabilities were limited, but chat rooms provided a fantastic alternative to phone sex and only required an Internet connection.

Why People Love Cyber Sex

People love cybersex for a variety of reasons. It’s hot, it’s a quick way to get off without any physical contact, and it helps people stay connected to long-distance lovers. This became especially important when COVID-19 shut the world down, leaving many without a way to see their long-distance sex partners for months on end. Suddenly, cybersex was the only way they had to maintain intimacy during a time of chaos and loneliness for so many.

For those not in a relationship, anonymity can be another appealing aspect of cybersex. It allows people to get off with virtual strangers without anyone ever knowing their true identity. People who love masturbation, sex, and getting off, meeting people in chatrooms, on live sex cams, in adult sex games, and using interactive virtual worlds can create an alter ego for themselves and get it on anonymously. It’s a great way to create an alter-ego to experiment in a welcoming environment where they will not be judged or run into the complications of in-person sexual exploration.

Safe sex also plays an integral part in the rise of cybersex. During the 1990s, the threat of HIV was a massive consideration for single people. As a result, they became less interested in having casual sex, opting for other safer options. Cybersex provided them a way to get off hard from the comfort and safety of their home.

How Cyber Sex Has Evolved

What started as people sending simple text-based messages to express their desires evolved quickly over the years. First, people began sharing nude pictures and erotic videos via text and email. Then social media entered the picture, and now sharing erotic thoughts and content is easier than ever.

Technology is changing every day, making the impossible seem possible, so who knows how far cybersex will go in the future. Either way, we can’t wait to find out!

Posted on

7 Aphrodisiac Foods to Rev up Your Libido

If you want to get down, twerk better, and seductively tease your partner, sultry music and aphrodisiacs will do the trick. Aphrodisiac foods can be the golden ticket when it comes to boosting your mood and reveling up your libido.

Typically, an aphrodisiac is any food or substance that increases your sexual performance, heightens your sexual desires, and arouses freaky sexual instincts. Numerous pharmaceutical drugs claim to manage sexual dysfunction in men and women, but they may work inferiorly or have disastrous side effects.

On the other hand, aphrodisiacs are generally natural products or foods with few side effects, making them much safer. Since ancient times, seven natural foods have been found to boost sexual desire and function.

1. Maca

Maca is a sweet root vegetable that was initially discovered and grown in Peru’s Andes region. Since ancient times, the plant has been helpful as a remedy for hot flashes and fertility arousal. In South America, residents use it as a natural remedy for boosting fertility, typically referred to as Peruvian Viagra.

The plant is closely related and classified as cruciferous vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli, and kale. According to research, the ancient sweet root vegetable significantly boosts libido and manages impotence in rodents. Although its efficacy in humans is inconclusive, there are claims that it can manage erectile dysfunction in men and menopausal women who are healthy.

Additionally, the plant may help manage sexual dysfunction that occurs due to the continued use of antidepressant drugs. However, it is paramount to note that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved or reviewed the use of maca as a dietary supplement.

2. Ginkgo Biloba

Ginkgo is an ancient herbal supplement derived from the Ginkgo Biloba tree. The supplement was used as part of Chinese medicine during ancient times to manage sexual impotence and depression.

Ginkgo is classified as an aphrodisiac as it may help increase blood circulation through the relaxation of blood vessels. The supplement increases the level of nitric oxide in your blood which is intrinsic in achieving an erection.

Ginkgo is well tolerated by most people but may work as a potent blood thinner. If you are already taking prescribed or self-medicated blood thinners, it is paramount to take this supplement with caution. Also, it can interact with certain medications such as ibuprofen, Xanax, or diabetes drugs.

3. Tribulus Terrestris

This flowering plant grows in tropical regions and dry climates. Tribulus is also referred to as bindii, goat’s head, or puncture vine and has been used as part of ancient Chinese medicine for years. The plant raises testosterone levels and boosts erections in rabbits.

In research involving castrated rats, the plant extract significantly improved sexual behavior and penile pressure. The researchers concluded that Tribulus had marked androgen-releasing properties, which positively affect sexual behavior in animals.

4. Oysters

Oysters are the primary source of zinc. Insufficient zinc levels in your body can cause erectile dysfunction. Research conducted in 2005 concluded that oysters also contain essential amino acids such as N-methyl-D-aspartate, which are necessary for stimulating testosterone production in rats.

Oysters significantly boost dopamine which helps to increase libido in humans. The supplement also contains high levels of serotonin and amino acids which promote pleasurable feelings. However, research is still inconclusive on how the supplements enhance sexual drive in humans.

5. ArginMax

ArginMax comes in two formulations, one specifically designed for men and another one for women. Each supplement contains amino acids, L-arginine, and vitamins essential for improving sexual function. The L-arginine compound contains nitric oxide, which increases blood flow and enhances the relaxation of blood vessels.

The formulations also have ginkgo, ginseng, and damiana to increase women’s sexual desire. According to research, the women’s formulation improves sexual wellness naturally and gently. On the other hand, the men’s formulation significantly improves sexual fitness.

6. Red Ginseng

Ginseng is a prevalent medicinal herb used by the Chinese community. Red ginseng is a unique species of ginseng plant that helps manage various conditions, such as sexual dysfunction and low libido in men and women.

According to a study, the supplement is effective in managing sexual impotence in menopausal women. However, the results are not conclusive and more research is required to support the supplement’s efficacy. In addition, there are claims that red ginseng may cause gastrointestinal issues, headaches, and constipation.

7. Fenugreek

Fenugreek is an aphrodisiac native to Western Asia and the Mediterranean. The supplement is often used to boost milk production in breastfeeding mothers, but some researchers claim that fenugreek can boost libido in men.

The herb contains essential compounds which can help your body to manufacture sex hormones. According to a study, a sample of men who consumed 600 mg extract of fenugreek daily for six weeks reported better and more refined orgasms. They also reported heightened sexual arousal.

Scientists added zinc, magnesium, and pyridoxine to increase the extract’s efficacy, essential in positive sexual behavior. The herb can also increase sexual arousal and desire in women. In addition, the extract is generally well-tolerated and does not cause any disastrous effects in humans.

However, it is essential to note that fenugreek can interact with other medications, such as blood-thinning drugs, and may lead to mild to severe gastrointestinal issues. The drug also interacts with cancer medications and should not be used together.

Prevalent Aphrodisiac Products with Little Scientific Evidence

Some popular plants and products are believed to have aphrodisiac properties, but there is little evidence to support those claims. Such products and supplements include:

  • Chocolate
  • Honey
  • Chasteberry
  • Hot chilies
  • Alcohol

If you’re having trouble getting down and dirty with your partner, the above aphrodisiac products can help. However, it’s essential to note that the supplements may interact with other pharmaceutical medications. Therefore, if you want to improve your sexual behavior and experience erotic arousal and frenzy orgasms, start using small doses and progressively increase your dosage depending on your tolerance levels.

If you want to learn more about the best aphrodisiacs, you can check out the Adult FriendFinder member advice lines to ask fellow members about their favorites!

 

Posted on

Do PrEP Medications for HIV Prevention Work?

HIV prevention and treatment have come a long way since AIDS reached epidemic status in the 1980s. Since then, attitudes towards sex and hooking up have evolved, and safe sex has become a much more common discussion in bedrooms and mainstream media. 

While it’s still vital to use condoms, there are other options available these days to further cut your risk of contracting HIV. One such option is HIV prevention medications you can take before transmission even occurs, called PrEP. But just how effective are these medications? First, let’s examine the basics. 

What is PrEP?

According to the Centers for Disease Control, “Pre-exposure prophylaxis (or PrEP) is medicine taken to prevent the transmission of HIV. PrEP is highly effective for preventing HIV when taken as prescribed. PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by about 99%“; however, as a few Adult FriendFinder members we spoke to pointed out, that number should be taken at face value. 

99% Still Means 1 Out of 100

If you plan on having sex once, then sure, your odds of getting HIV from someone using PrEP properly are relatively low. But, on the other hand, if you have an active sex life, then chances are you plan on being far more sexually active. So even with 99% protection, the odds are actually not in your favor unless you take a multi-protected approach to sex. Yes, that means condoms are still necessary. 

“When Taken As Prescribed” Isn’t A Guarantee

The CDC stats are based on the idea that the person you are about to have sexual contact with took PrEP exactly as prescribed. They are betting your new partner didn’t miss a dose, didn’t skip any other protocol, and is the model patient at every moment of every day. That may not seem right when you think about how you have been with them for the last 10 hours, and one of the things you love about them is their carefree attitude about so many other parts of life. Always assume others have missed a dose or skipped a required part of the prescription, and you’ll never be unpleasantly surprised.

Honesty Is Still The Key To Prevention

It’s easy to convince yourself that HIV/AIDS is a thing of the past because treatment has improved so much from what it was a couple of decades ago, but we all must stay vigilant and avoid falling into the trap of complacency. It’s still a serious concern, but it is now manageable if we are honest with ourselves and our potential lovers.

Educating yourself and those you choose to have sex with is the best way to keep everyone safe, happy, and orgasmically exhausted. Lay out your positive status the same way you would discuss any other health-related criteria for sex. For example, you wouldn’t keep an old sports injury or a cold sore a secret from someone you are about to have sex with, and you shouldn’t keep your status secret either. That said, where it used to be met with derision or rejection in the past, so many more people are aware of the advances in medicine and open to sexual relationships with people who happen to be HIV positive these days.

There are plenty of resources online that explain any risks associated with sex and share what people need to know so they can enjoy sex in the most carefree and exciting way possible. For example, if you wanted to have sex while skydiving, you could – but that doesn’t mean you would choose not to pack a parachute.

Having open and honest conversations about sex is the key to all aspects of satisfying relationships, whether they are meant to last a lifetime or intended to be a single no-strings-attached evening of mutual excitement.

The Bottom Line

PrEP is just the newest advancement down the path to preventing HIV before it happens, but it isn’t a complete solution. Used in combination with other safe sex practices, including condoms, it can reduce the risk of transmission to a truly negligible level. Still, even if the risk was only 0.000000000001%, your next lover has every right to know about your status, and if they are someone you should be willing to have sex with, they are also someone you can trust easily with that information.

Posted on

Tips for Car Sex And Sexual Road Adventures

Over the last few years, travel dates have become increasingly popular among those looking to expand their sexual horizons without the need to visit crowded airports, bus terminals, and train stations. Naturally, that gives rise to a renewed interest in road head, car sex, and all kinds of other automotive action. So let’s take a closer look at the art of getting busy between the bumpers!

Play Safe by Going Off-Road

Sex in the fast lane may sound exciting, but it can also be dangerous. Playing on a private road, pulling over, or finding a romantic parking space at a scenic stop is a much safer move.

Find the Right Soundtrack

You’ve got a sound system to work with, so don’t just leave the radio on and listen to commercials while she goes down on you. Instead, find the right playlist on your phone and use it to amplify the eroticism of the moment.

Stretching Matters 

If you’re in a spacious RV, road sex can be a lot like quality time in a full-size bedroom, but if you are trying to get busy in the backseat of a Camry, you may end up in some awkward positions. Nobody wants to cramp up at the moment of glory or walk around aching after your interlude is complete. Take a few minutes to stretch out your body before getting in the vehicle, just in case things get frisky.

My Car or Yours?

Give some thought to which vehicle you want to take on your next trip. Climbing across bucket seats and straddling the stick shift may seem exotic the first few times, but if your partner has a big car with more room, you should consider which vehicle is best for your adventures. Sure, a bigger car gets worse gas mileage, but that’s a small price to pay for having access to all your favorite positions without having to hang your head out the window to make room so he can get behind you.

The Best and Worst Vehicles for Sex on the Open Road

Minivan 

Since the earliest days of the VW Love Bus and throughout the hippie era of the 1960s, it has been patently obvious that the second-best vehicle for sex is a minivan. Sure, there are plenty of car enthusiasts who will frown at you for driving a minivan, but millions of soccer moms have been letting their lovers score in the back of their vans instead of standing on a cold sideline in the rain for decades. A few pillows and an air freshener are about all you’ll ever need to turn this bedroom on wheels into the kind of sex coach you’ve been dreaming about since you first saw Cinderella’s pumpkin.

Motorcycle

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you’ll get plenty of fist bumps from other bikers if you take your date out on your motorcycle, but aside from a complete lack of privacy, there’s no way to get road head on a bike safely. Even worse, you’re left with just a small seat to stretch out on if you pull over somewhere secluded to have sex. Even a car hood offers more room to get comfortable than a bike ever will. 

Tesla

It’s a high-end vehicle with a price tag to match, but they’re coming down in price fairly quickly with all kinds of tax incentives and the warm feeling that your ride is helping the environment as well. What makes them appealing for car sex (even though the driver’s manual tells you not to) is their ability to drive themselves. Hands-free steering, even if you’re fully alert and ready to grab the wheel, still makes it easier than ever for your lover to bob her head in your lap without having to be a contortionist. But, of course, try this one at your own risk. 

Limousine

If you really want to have sex in a moving car, the safest and best way to do it is in the back of a Limousine. We don’t recommend sex in a moving vehicle if either of you is driving, sure. But with a driver at the wheel and plenty of room in the back, you and your lover can turn up the music, have a drink, and get into all your favorite sex positions. Be sure to bring some hand wipes for cleanup, however. Most limo drivers won’t mind if you get busy in the back, but nobody wants to clean up the fluids you left on the floor.

Ferrari

What a beautiful piece of automotive imagination, right? Wrong. Nothing is worse than sex in a supercar. The space allocated for each passenger is tiny; they always have individual racing seats and a difficult center console to climb across. Worst of all, when your lover is riding you, the last thing you should be thinking is, “I sure hope she doesn’t make marks with her fingernails on this very expensive headrest.” Leave your Ferrari at home and find something much more practical to fuck in.

Your Current Car

The best car for road sex is definitely the car you have right now. Nobody expects you to go out and buy a new car just for its ability to make road sex easier. Look through your own vehicle, and you’ll find plenty of ways to make it more appealing. For starters, clear out all the clutter so your lover doesn’t trip over the cardboard coffees in your cup holders. Also, find the time to deep clean your car, so it smells nice and maybe get the windows tinted to add a hint of privacy. It’s your car and likely to be your vehicular bedroom, so put a little time and care into it, and your lovers will be glad you did.

The American love affair with the open road has been ongoing for over a century, often commemorated in popular songs of each era and beloved by car groups across the country. It isn’t a coincidence that the passion for cars in this country coincides with the fact that many people have their first sexual encounters in the backseat or on the hood of their partner’s vehicle. So play safe, wear a seatbelt and enjoy all that the open road offers on your next date, whether you’re in the driveway or out on the highway exploring your sense of automotive adventure!

Posted on

10 Steamy Songs to Add to Your Sex Playlist

For hundreds of years, music and sex have gone hand-in-hand, with ancient cultures performing songs and dances about fertility, making music and poetry about loving sex, and more. In more modern times, Marvin Gaye inspired millions of people to get naked with his hit “Let’s Get It On.” 

These days, songs about sex have become a lot more graphic, but that doesn’t necessarily make them hot. So, what should make it to your sexy time playlist? Here are a few suggestions to get you started. 

10. Nothing is Gonna Hurt You

Starting things slow and building anticipation is the perfect way to inspire a sensual and sexual mood. Performed by the group Cigarettes and Sex, this 2012 hit uses seductive vocals and rhythmic instruments to keep things erotic. The piece is also fantastic for cuddling after sex and is a popular ambient pop tune that helps people slow down and enjoy every moment. 

9. Hotter Than Hell

This sexy tune is featured on Dua Lipa’s self-titled 2016 debut album. “Hotter Than Hell” is an up-tempo track that gets hearts beating faster with a double entendre in the title and sultry lyrics and sounds. The song has inspired tons of sex, and Dua Lipa is happy that people use this song as pre-date listening.

8. Sign of the Times

Harry Styles has a sensual voice, and this song is filled with passion. Being a longer song, it’s excellent for longer make-out sessions and getting in the mood. Styles has a sexy tenor voice, and while the song is not about nudity, desire, or sex, it’s a fantastic choice for people interested in getting it on. “Sign of the Times” is a song that should be on your sex playlist.

7. Criminal 

This Grammy-winning song was released in 1996 by Fiona Apple, and the opening lyrics tell you everything you need to know. “I’ve been a bad, bad girl” is an iconic song start and helps set the mood. Heard in strip clubs worldwide, her voice is phenomenal on the track, the riffs are sensual, and the song is an excellent prelude to kinky sex and roleplay.

6. Fever

“Fever” has been remade many times, but the most famous and popular remake is the one done by Peggy Lee in 1956. Things get so hot in the song that people have no choice but to ponder taking their clothes off. Older souls love it, and this tune is known worldwide by people of all generations. Whether you’re introducing it to a potential sex partner for the first time or they’re already aware of its existence, “Fever” does an excellent job of getting people in the mood and ready for action. 

5. Precious Possession

Throughout her career, solo artist Anna Wise has connected with other famous artists like Kendrick Lamar. In 2015, her collaborative album “These Walls” even won a grammy. However, it’s her 2017 solo single “Precious Possession” that makes our list, mixing pop, electronics, and sultry sounds and lyrics to provide listeners with ultimate satisfaction. 

4. Señorita

Filled with sweet statements and electrifying connections, real-life former lovers Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes bring their passion to life on this sensual track. It’s a fantastic duet that gets people in the mood for not only sex but lots of cuddling afterward. So add this song to your sex playlist, and keep it in the back of your pocket for vacations and hotel rendezvous’ as well.

3. Make Me Feel

Janelle Monae has a lot of scorching tunes under her belt, with a number of them that could have made this list. A powerhouse in the music industry, she has paired up with many icons and has unparalleled energy in her. However, in the song “Make Me Feel,” she teams up with Prince and takes things to another level. This song is sensual, sassy, sexy, and has even been adopted as a queer anthem by many fans. An excellent theme for people regardless of their sexuality, Make Me Feel comes in at number three on the AdultFriendFinder top 10 list of songs to get it on to.

2. Be Honest

“Be Honest” is a steamy duet featuring two amazing artists that blend a wide variety of the sexiest sounds and vocals. Performed by Jorga Smith and featuring Burna Boy, the song is romantically charged and built to leave fans with an ending that leaves them wanting more. Featuring Afro beats, Caribbean music, and sultry vocals from Smith, “Be Honest” has everything a sexy song should have. 

1. Wicked Game

“Wicked Game” has been the top song to get it on to since its release in the late 1980s. The music video is incredibly hot and fits the song to a T. There’s a sense of mystery to the song, with some unknown elements leaving people curious and wanting to know more. Chris Isaak performs this memorable song with fantastic falsetto, sexy lyrics, fantastic instrumentals, and a unique hook. The song reached the top 10 when it was released and, with immense amounts of intrigue, continues to be a song people think of when they think about sex.

What are some of your favorite “sexy time” songs?

Posted on

Turn Your Bedroom Into a DIY Porn Studio

Have you ever wanted to star in your own private porn videos? You might not be quite ready to publish your productions online, but making sex tapes with other consenting playmates can be a stimulating way to spice up your adult dating interactions. The key is setting up your studio, so the videos look as good as professional porn. Thankfully, technology has made it really easy and affordable to do. Here’s how:

Find Some Good Lighting

While some choose to film in lowlight situations, lighting is one of the most important elements of pornography. Whether you’re creating home videos or looking to post here on Adult FriendFinder, lighting can significantly influence how many views, likes, and interactions you get from the videos. However, professional lighting doesn’t need to break the bank, as many hardware stores have basic lighting implements you can use. 

For a softer, more flattering look, place a piece of white paper or fabric over lamps as a budget-friendly way to diffuse the light. Ensure that these aren’t touching the light bulbs themselves and avoid any potential fire hazard, however.

In addition, you can find many affordable light options such as ring lights and studio lamps on Amazon. Having two lights in front of you, next to where the camera is, can be ideal, though some people choose to also put a third light slightly behind the filming area and off to the side. No matter what lighting setup you choose, check your cameras to ensure there’s no annoying glare coming from the lights.

Choosing a Camera

Picking out a camera can seem like quite a task, and the one you select will depend on many variables. Consider your budget when looking into cameras and how many cameras you think you’ll need. Some people use HD cams to record their homemade porn, while others use phones with high-quality video. While these can be excellent for amateur pornography you’re posting on social websites, people looking to make content for public consumption will generally want to look for higher-quality cameras.

Video camcorders are popular, and many DSL cameras also have video features. Look at reviews, and even ask around in the member advice lines to find a top-performing camera for your budget and space. 

Have a Loose Script Or Story

While most viewers like amateur content, because it’s more natural than professional porn, starting with a script or basic outline is still a good idea. A general script with a basic plot to kick off the scene lets viewers know what your scene is about and gives you a guideline to follow as things start heating up. Knowing which sex positions you will try in what order can help everything run more smoothly. Having an idea of what will happen from one transition to the next is a great idea too.

Even if there is a script, talking about safewords and motions that can be used to change the direction of the scene is common with the pros, especially when creating videos with new partners. For example, touching the person’s thigh during doggystyle can mean the person is ready to change positions. If your storyline or script involves costuming, you can also set this up in advance.

Edit Your Videos With Software

While there’s no shortage of amateur scenes out there, even in pornography, these videos are still often edited. For example, the beginning and end are sometimes trimmed a bit, and transitions between different sex positions and angles are sometimes done using specific software types. Editing software is also necessary for people who want to put a watermark on their videos to prevent plagiarism.

In some situations, color, contrast, and other parts of the video can be adjusted to give the mood you’re going for. Also, remember that just like in mainstream movies, sometimes specific parts of porn films are filmed a few different times so creators can take the best sections for the final product.

Find the Perfect Costar

Using your current partner or partners is best, especially if you’re new to making your own porn, because you’ll work best with someone you’re comfortable with. However, if you don’t have a partner in mind, you can also look to the Adult FriendFinder community for new friends who are not only willing to have sex with you on film but get off on it like you wouldn’t believe!

Ponder Positives And Negatives

There are many positives to creating porn, including having fun sex with a variety of people. In addition, some people choose to make porn with their partner and no one else, which can also help them increase intimacy and have an adventure together. That said, once your image is out there, you can’t take it back, so be mindful of where and how you post it. 

Put pictures and videos up on Adult FriendFinder, and they’ll reach many sex-positive people. However, posting videos on a porn tube site could reach millions of people. Some people are hesitant to put their pornography out there to that many people, so choose your spots wisely. 

That said, it’s an exhilarating feeling to be free of the restrictions culture puts on sexuality and public nudity. There are so many things to do regarding sex, and culture can sometimes limit how much people can enjoy it. 

Whether you’re making homemade porn for your collection, to share with others, or put out for general consumption, creating erotic content can be fulfilling, rewarding, and fun. So try it today, and remember to enjoy yourself through it all.

Posted on

The Power of Scent and Setting the Mood

Over the last few years, ASMR has gained a lot of attention as people began to think about the importance of sound as it relates to sex. Of course, it’s no secret that there’s a strong connection between sex and the five senses, including taste and smell. So now that sound has its day in the sun (or the bedroom!), let’s explore how olfactory elements can enhance your sex life as well.

Studies Have Shown Scent Is A Key Marketing Component

Have you ever walked into a store and sensed a vague smell of fresh oranges, even though the store sold furniture or cars and had nothing to do with produce? That’s because marketing experts have proven that the smell of fresh oranges is invigorating to consumers who might otherwise be tired by the time they enter the store. The right scent means more sales for them, and the right scent can also mean more dating success for you.

What Scents Work Best For Dating?

As usual, the answer is it depends. Reading dating profiles, chatting, and talking by phone before you meet may give you a lot of helpful hints, but here are some common examples and why they work:

Fresh Baked Cookies

Putting some cookie dough in the oven and opening the door with the scent of fresh cookies throughout your place increases many people’s appetite for a lot more than cookies. Add in the aphrodisiac effect of chocolate, and it’s easy to see why chocolate chip cookies usually work best.

Morning Citrus Awakens The Senses

Late-night booty calls can go awry if you’re too sleepy to enjoy them. Bright scents like Lemon or Lavender are excellent for adding some energy to the mood, so you don’t fall asleep during the fun.

Cinnamon

Many people subconsciously equate the scent of cinnamon with erotic memories. However, just having some drifting through the air at your place may bring out the more adventurous side of any lover you play with.

Ginger

Ingesting ginger can stimulate the circulatory system, and some believe that even the scent of ginger can have a similar effect, which is excellent for sexual stamina. 

Sandalwood

Often considered one of the most masculine scents, sandalwood does a great job setting the tone and letting your partner know you plan to take charge. A simple scent in a room can do so much to communicate your sexual intentions, and sandalwood is a prime example of that.

Leather

Unlike a lot of other scents, leather is a fetish in its own right. Many people can get completely turned on or even reach orgasm just from the unique sense memories that only leather can bring. 

Perfumes and Colognes In Moderation

Let’s be honest. Nobody wants to walk into your apartment and feel like they’re swimming through a never-ending wall of your Drakkar cologne. On the other hand, personal scents from perfumes and colognes can be great aphrodisiacs, and they are also a way to plant future memories in your lover’s mind because the next time they smell your scent, it’s likely they will think of you. Just be sure to use any scent in moderation. Use just enough to be noticed, but not so much that it overpowers the mood.

A Word About Candles

You might think that you have precisely the right scent to set the mood for your next date, but how would you be able to transport it to your apartment, and where would you put a huge pine tree even if you had time to acquire one? The easy answer is scented candles! Avoid using chemical air fresheners and go with a much more romantic scented candle that provides warm light as well as the fragrance you find most appealing. 

There’s Always Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina

If you have gone through the library of scented candles and still haven’t come up with the perfect scent for your sexual encounter, consider Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina! That’s right, the Academy Award-winning actress famously released a series of scented candles unlike the ones you’ll find at Yankee Candle, and by far, her most famous is a candle she claims has the same scent as her vagina. So even if you and your new partner aren’t fans of hers, it serves as a quality conversation starter, and in some small way, banging your new beauty next to her candle is almost like having a threesome with Gwyneth herself!

A Bad Smell Is The Best Example

If you think all this talk about choosing a pleasing scent is just hyperbole, here is an easy mental exercise that proves the point. Think of the worst thing you have ever smelled. Was it a backed-up toilet? Perhaps it was a trip to the garbage dump? Did some weird-looking guy who insisted on sitting next to you on the bus stink in a memorable way? Now that you have that sense of memory in your mind, are you feeling sexy? Of course not, and if you imagine having sex with that stench present, you’ll quickly agree that the way the room and your lover smell matters quite a bit.

A Final Word On Making Sense of Sexual Scents 

Scent, much like all the other senses, is a very personal and intimate way to create a signature in someone else’s mind. Choosing something others aren’t using that is tied to your sensibilities can often heighten the first date or turn a casual encounter into something more. The most important thing to keep in mind is that these sorts of things matter and taking the time to find the right scent for yourself and your place shows you are the kind of thoughtful lover who takes the pleasure of others seriously. That sets the tone and often brings out the best in each person you choose to be with.

What kind of scents turn you on the most?

Posted on

How to Plan Your First Orgy

Anyone who has ever masturbated knows one is too few people for a quality orgy. But if you’ve gone to a big sex party and felt a bit out of place, then you also know that hundreds of people make an orgy much less intimate than you may desire. So, how many people should you invite to your next orgy, and what else should you know about creating a great guest list that will satisfy every participant?

Planning an orgy takes time, consideration, and tact. There are numerous ways to plan one, so if you’re interested in hosting an orgy, the tips below can help you get started. In orgies, consent is vital, as is trust. While some people prefer to have orgies with strangers, others only invite people they know and trust.

Space is a Consideration

Many people consider five to be the minimum number of participants for an orgy. Three people is a threesome, four is a foursome, and five or more is an orgy. The amount of available space is a determining factor in finding your ideal orgy numbers. People should be able to get comfortable, with a proper amount of furniture to play on. In most cases, oversized chairs, beds, and couches will suffice. Some people choose to put placemats and mat covers on the floor, another option for creating more space where many people can roll around at once. Smaller pieces of furniture can be limiting if multiple people want to touch each other simultaneously.

If you’re considering having an orgy and don’t mind who hosts the event, you can talk amongst the people involved to determine the ideal space among those available. However, keep in mind that if you don’t know someone well, you may want to do some vetting before considering their place for your next orgy. 

Think About Establishing Safety Protocols

Will your orgy require people to have condoms and switch between partners? Are you going to be asking for a recent STI test? People have different standards when it comes to setting up an orgy. Those who are considering attending will have questions. They will want to know about safe sex practices, and they will also want to know about how you are vetting people for the party. Gather your thoughts on these things and communicate them to your guests in advance so they can be prepared. 

The Right Number of People For an Orgy – It’s About the People

The best number of people for an orgy is also impacted by who is there. If one person is sucking the positive energy out of the room, one less person (that one) might be better. This is why vetting is so necessary. If you’re hosting a party and a person is causing issues, removing them may be the best option. The goal is for everyone at the party to have a good time, so be a good host and help that happen.

Sending Out Invites

When organizing an orgy, do not give the address of the orgy to just anyone. To maintain an ideal number of people in the orgy, you will want to limit the numbers. After determining the perfect number, it’s time to find people for the event. For example, if you’re inviting friends and friends of friends, pick two or three people to invite first, and ask them if they have people they vouch for who would also like to attend.

Ensuring that each person has somebody they are least familiar with outside of themselves can help increase comfort levels and get the action going faster.

If you’re looking to meet new people you can invite to your sex party, Adult FriendFinder is a fantastic resource. You may already have people in your network looking for orgies to attend – all you have to do is ask! Adult FriendFinder makes it easy to vet potential invitees so you can discuss consent and their thoughts on what an orgy should be. 

Don’t Start Too Big

Orgies have many moving parts, and one mistake people make is trying to plan an orgy that is much larger than they can manage easily on a first go ahead. There are logistics to planning an orgy, including space, snacks, vetting, and others. Each of these things takes time, and some take experience as well. As you continue to plan orgies, the vetting aspect will get easier. It also takes some time to figure out the appropriate amount of people for the space.

Having too many people in the space can make it hard to have the sexual fun you would like to have. Remember, people need to move around and get into different positions. There should also be an area dedicated to socializing for people who need a break or are not interested in watching other naked people fuck for the entirety of the night.

On the other hand, if you have ample space with few people, the party can feel empty. This can take away from the mood for some people, who may feel like “practically nobody showed up.” Starting small allows you to alleviate these fears. One way that people move through this is by starting with four people they know will show up. Then, invite a few more people, and know that even if only three or four people show, fantastic group sex will happen. If you have enough space for more than five people, take some time to invite an additional two or three people as not everybody will come to your event each time.

Final Notes

It is always wise to think about your goals for your event. For example, if the goal is sex with strangers, the vetting process may differ. In addition, there may be more people overall. For example, many sex lovers are interested in orgies, and gangbangs are also popular. When considering the number of people to invite, consider specific genders attending. In orgies, people touch other people’s bodies, and gender is often not an issue.

Once your plan is in place, you’re ready to get going!

Posted on

Must-Have Items for Your Kink Drawer

Everyone has one. A shoebox under the bed, a bed stand drawer, or perhaps a massive room most houseguests aren’t allowed to see. 

If you don’t have a drawer full of kinky goodies hiding somewhere but get excited at the thought of having all the sexy delights you can handle at your fingertips, then now is as good a time as any to get started. 

Stocking your kink drawer can be almost as fun as putting your gear to use with your favorite playmates. So let’s look at what every kinkster should have on hand, plus some less known devices that might amp up your creativity the next time you decide to meet up with a like-minded partner for roleplay!

1 – Cuffs

Cuffs and restraints are a must-have item for even the most vanilla bedroom. Why? With over half the population having some fantasy about being restrained or wanting to restrain a sex partner, it’s a very common way to play. 

There are plenty of options for the beginner to become more experienced. If you’ve never tried cuffs before, opt for a pair with fluffy liners and softer materials. The idea here is to keep hands, or maybe ankles restricted, but not necessarily in a painful way. 

As a novice, you’ll want to choose cuffs with big, easy-to-use buckles to start. Sure, it may seem too easy to get out of, but once your hands are covered in lube, you’ll be thankful you went with ease-of-use over there-is-no-way-they-can escape. Also, at least at the start, it’s much more about the feeling of being restricted than being completely unable to free oneself.

Are you feeling a little more adventurous after gaining some experience? Select a tougher material or something that appeals to the fetishist inside you. Leather, rubber, and metal are all available at various price points, with metal being the most expensive. Again, make sure that whatever closing mechanism you choose is simple to use.

If you don’t want to invest in hardware because you have company often or share space, look at something simple like bondage tape. It’s cheap, disposable, and looks like a regular roll of tape when being stored if someone else discovers it in your home. It also won’t hurt the skin coming off.

One important warning for anyone just starting to experiment with cuffs: avoid using police handcuffs or anything with a similar adjustable closing system. You can cause real injury by misusing them, as they’re intended for locking down violent criminals, not for submissives who are desperately seeking orgasm permission from you.

2 – Blindfolds

Like cuffs, blindfolds are a solid mainstay in the toy chest. Sensory deprivation can be a sexy way to heighten sensitivity because they can’t see what you’re doing or what will happen next. Just remember to start slow if you’ve never tried it. For some people, it can be disorienting and may cause anxiety, so as with any kink play, always have a safe word ready ahead of time.

Blindfolds come in various shapes, sizes, and materials, including BDSM-lite fluffy fabrics or leather. A step above standard blindfolds are hoods and masks. These cover the whole head and may include a mouth hole. Low-end hoods are made from Lycra and may or may not have additional layers over the eyes. Once again, listen to your partner and use a safe word when you start experimenting. 

3 – Electric Wands

Available in various styles, Shock Play has gained a lot of popularity recently after a wave of videos on kinky porn sites made the practice popular.

Many low-voltage wands provide just enough pop to earn your partner’s full attention. Be sure you and your partner are healthy enough to engage in kinky sex before trying these devices. Consulting your doctor is always a good idea, especially if you have a pacemaker or other medical device that could be affected.

From a quick orgasm to extensive edging sessions, an electric wand is an incredibly fun toy to play with, and it provides a much more elegant solution for sub-training sessions than a crop or whip ever would. No mess, no marks… just the joy of knowing you hold the ability to focus their attention any time you like, right in the palm of your hand. 

4 – Clamps

Your next step down the kink path is clamps. A clamp is what it sounds like, a mechanism that lets you apply pressure to something. Nipple clamps are the most common kind of sex clamp. They may be the screw type or use springs. Either way, clip them over the nipple and gently let the pressure build up. 

The screw type is probably the best bet for beginners as it lets you keep the pressure adjusted to a tolerable level. While they cost a little more than the regular spring-loaded clamp, you’re more likely to have some success when the pain can be controlled. 

Important safety tip: Makeshift devices like clothespins aren’t a great way to start because they lack the sort of fine-tuning control that real clamps allow. Go with real clamps from a sex toy store, and you’ll be glad you did.

For the adventurous, there are also genital clamps available that use similar mechanisms but come in different sizes and configurations to clamp the specific body part. For example, labia clamps usually come with four clamps and chains to help keep the lips spread open. 

5 – Lube

An often overlooked but critical part of your toy chest is lube. There are many types of lube available, but they all do the same thing. So whether you’re embarking on a marathon sex session, using toys, or trying to put new things inside your partner’s orifices, lube is the key to a successful and pleasurable evening without the risk of friction burns and unnecessary discomfort. 

There are several different types of lube available, and each has its uses. You may stick with one type or have a variety depending on your desires.

Oil Based Lubes – A scented oil-based lube can be used for sensual massages that will help get your lover in the mood and can also be used to help the orifice of your choice prepare for penetration. Oil lubes are great because they don’t get sticky or lose effectiveness. However, they may degrade latex toys and condoms, so they are usually not great for insertion.

Water-Based Lubes – Won’t stain your sheets, won’t damage your toys, washes off easily but doesn’t last as long as other lube types. Very kind to the skin but get a big bottle because you’ll need to reapply often.

Silicon-Based Lubes – Gentle on your skin and hypoallergenic, so it might be a great choice for sensitive partners. It lasts longer than water-based lubes but may degrade silicone toys and make them less sanitary over time. A good choice for skin-to-skin play but not the best for solo toy adventures.

6 – First Aid Kit

While it may not seem like an obvious item to add, just ask any experienced kinkster what they’d bring on their dirty desert island getaway, and they will tell you that a first aid kit is always at the top of their list. That includes a fully charged phone if you need to call an EMT, standard things like band-aids and salves, and other items like calm music for aftercare.

Sure, you will follow the advice other people have given you and have safe words and gestures pre-planned before you start playing with BDSM, but accidents can happen. Let’s face it, two people going at it and rolling around can run even a small risk of a minor muscle pull. Or, if you’re really out of practice, a not so minor one. Once you start playing in the kink arena, those small risks may include the odd bruise or abrasion.

You don’t need anything more than the basics, some antiseptic cream, band-aids, alcohol wipes, etc., but just be sure you have them easily accessible and know where they are ahead of time just in case.

7 – Your Imagination

Most importantly, have an active open imagination and do some planning ahead. The best toy drawer in the world is still completely dependent on its owner to turn inanimate objects into amazing tools of sexual satisfaction!

Posted on

Tips For Talking Dirty (So It’s Not Awkward)

Sex has many different nuances, with moans, sounds, and conversations often being part of what makes it so hot. This article explores some of the barriers people have when it comes to dirty talk, including creativity, communication with partners, words to use and not to use, and more. 

Dirty talk can feel just about as awkward as it gets when you’re just starting, but rest assured that things can take a very sexy turn once you get comfortable. Like with most things, practice makes perfect. 

Why Do People Like Dirty Talk?

Dirty talk puts people in the right mindset for the sexy times to come. Whether it’s your standard sweet nothings or roleplay humiliation, dirty talk adds many facets to sexual fun. Many people consider roleplay to be focused on dirty talk that transitions into sex, cuddling, and other erotic fun. However, dirty talk is taboo for some people because they didn’t learn the sexiest words and phrases until their 20s, 30s, and beyond.

Dirty talk is highly diverse, allowing people to focus on body parts, personality traits, overall looks, kinks, fantasies, fetishes, and more. That’s why educating yourself about dirty talk, and the strategies that can lead to success pays major dividends.

Getting More Comfortable With Dirty Talk

Whether you’re just starting your journey into dirty talk or have been doing it for years, the tips and suggestions found in this article are valuable, so keep reading. 

Creating an outline in your head of a few different potential sex scenarios is a great way to brainstorm ideas you can keep in your arsenal. For more erotic scenes, sticking to words that are complimentary, pleasant, and have a softer feel is a smart plan. For example, beautiful, sexy, wet, tight, and comments about how good things feel are excellent starting points.

For people who like it a little rough, words and phrases like harder, faster, I love it, and yes, yes, yes, are also fantastic. One of the biggest barriers people have to dirty talk is building comfort levels that inspire confidence. Simply talking about sex and sexuality to people you are interested in or having sex with can help you make a lot of progress towards being more comfortable with dirty talk. 

Another barrier some people have is worrying they’ll be judged for saying the wrong thing. This misconception stems from people not talking about sex and sexuality nearly enough. People love dirty talk, and while it is not the preference for some people, it’s more popular than you know. 

Practice on Live Member Cams

Live sex cams are a great way to practice dirty talk, especially on Adult FriendFinder, because you know your audience will be receptive to what you have to say. Interacting with people who are broadcasting live provides you the opportunity to practice in real-time, with features like cam-to-cam and two-way audio. Private messaging on the platform is also stellar for learning more about dirty talk. While practicing, take note of what you enjoy and what is working well.

Other Tips And Suggestions

In improv comedy and other improvisational performances, going with the philosophy of “yes, and” is a fantastic strategy. Keep the conversation moving forward, slowing down on the parts that turn you on the most. Be descriptive with your words, and include both actions and reactions. When the other person says something, describe your reactions and add a proactive response. 

There may be times when the other person utilizes multiple actions in a row. Not all of these need to be responded to with a reaction. Show expression through your tone of voice, getting softer, slowing down, speeding up, and using your intonation to reflect the mood you are in and the pacing of whatever is happening.

If you feel that you’re building up anticipation, you can also add longer pauses. When talking dirty on the phone, imagine you’re sharing in the storytelling responsibilities with the other person, allowing them to add in what pleases them while you add in what pleases you. Focusing on your needs and your partner’s needs is essential. In real-life sexual experiences, dirty talk can be more simple. Start by letting your partner know what you like, practicing moans, expressing your desires, and being positive in your communication and interactions.

The best way to approach things is to go at a comfortable pace. By communicating with your sex partners, you can outline wants, needs, and desires, as well as boundaries. Good communication is key to sex, dirty talk, and casual partnerships. Have fun!