Tag: sexuality

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Find Your Sexual Soulmate

What is a sexual soulmate? Simply put, it’s someone you connect with so profoundly on a sexual level that it feels like you were made for each other. 

In some ways, finding a sexual soulmate is less complex than finding an emotional one. A lot of what people seek when finding a sexual soulmate has to do with physical attraction, sexual personality, excellent communication, and an open mind.

While some people feel nervous or embarrassed when telling another person about their deepest fantasies and desires, it is often a necessary step in finding someone you connect with sexually. Telling someone your deepest sexual desires can be a vulnerable spot to be in, but it’s an essential step to finding that person that makes you feel like no one else can.

So, how do you start the search for your sexual soulmate? Here are some tips to get you on the right path. 

Practice Nonjudgment And Seek Nonjudgment

For you and a potential partner to figure out if you’re sexual soulmates or not, you must both be open and honest with one another. That can only happen if both parties feel they can discuss their sexual preferences without the risk of judgment. Having an open mind and being nonjudgmental does not mean you need to consent to everything a sex partner suggests, but rather that you will listen to them and consider whether the activity could be a good match for you. 

Practice Excellent Communication

Communication is essential in any relationship, and while many are looking for their sexual soulmate through natural connections, it most often doesn’t happen this way. Finding your sexual soulmate still requires a little work along the way. Communication about your needs, wants, and desires, as well as the things you like in bed, is essential. Talking about the different ways you prefer to communicate can also have an impact. Sexual soulmate matches are about more than just sex. Some people like to be called or texted once a week, while others prefer daily. Communicating outside of the other person’s preferences can have an impact over time. There are also many benefits to learning about sex and growing together. By digging into the other person’s desires and communicating well, you can see your relationship satisfaction grow over time.

Take Some Chances

For people looking for casual sex, short-term relationships, or long-term relationships, taking some chances can pay big dividends. You never know who will be great in bed, and sometimes a person’s sexual energy and personality will make them your ideal lover, even if it’s not immediately clear when you first meet. 

Even if you feel like you have a type, you shouldn’t be afraid to explore beyond those limitations to see what else is out there. Each person has different nuances, personality traits, and talents. When connecting with people, pay attention to sexual chemistry and sexual compatibility, not just immediate physical attraction. You never know who might surprise you!

Sexual Chemistry Versus Sexual Compatibility

Sexual chemistry is best described as that instant spark that makes people feel physically drawn to one another. Sometimes this happens within moments of meeting, and the chemistry is undeniable. However, in many cases, the physical attraction is coupled with compatible personalities, further feeding the energy. While this type of chemistry can often lead to passionate sex, adding sexual compatibility into the mix truly determines if someone is a sexual soulmate or just a great fuck. 

Many people can confuse sexual chemistry with sexual compatibility, but feeling a spark does not guarantee that a person will have natural sexual compatibility with someone. People have different sexual styles in bed, other wants, needs, and desires, and each of these things cannot be determined just by meeting a person and having a brief conversation. Sexual compatibility develops through communication and often extends the sexual chemistry they feel.

No Match Is 100% Perfect

There is no such thing as a perfect match, even when it comes to sexual soulmates. Perfection should not be an expectation, and having this expectation can lead to relationships ending prematurely. Instead, find a sexual partner you have chemistry with and who is open to hearing about your sexual needs and desires. Get a partner who wants to reciprocate and share their sexual needs with you as well. Another thing to consider is redefining what the term sexual soulmate means to you. Believing that there is one perfect sexual match for you can negatively impact your sexual satisfaction and relationship success. Many studies have touched upon this and found that people who define a sexual soulmate as a perfect sexual match or a person destined to be their ideal sexual match report lower levels of sexual satisfaction and relationship success. Meanwhile, couples who acknowledge that fantastic sex comes from communication, working at it, and increasing awareness have a much higher success rate.

Be Proactive

A proactive approach can bring you closer to your ideal sexual matches faster and more efficiently. Having a proactive mindset can dramatically change how you approach sex and dating and can also elevate your level of satisfaction in bed. Consent is essential, and so is communication. Many people do not communicate with potential matches nearly enough. Send out notes to people you are interested in and take a little time to connect. Then, as the sexual relationship advances, continue updating the other person and communicating with them about your needs, wants, and desires. Putting yourself out there can show vulnerability, sure, but it encourages other people to put themselves out there as well. 

So, be proactive in teaching someone how to be your sexual soulmate. Be patient, open-minded, and keep in mind that everyone’s preferences are different regarding sex and sexuality. 

Be Patient

Mind-blowing sex comes with time and constant communication. Finding someone you have a spark with is an excellent first step, and learning more about each other keeps things fresh. Changing things up, learning new things, and exploring together is essential for sexual soulmates to flourish. Both people should put their energy towards keeping the connection going. The search for your sexual soulmate can also take some patience; there may be people with chemistry who do not jive with you in other ways. There is a big difference between a sexual soulmate and a single night of mind-blowing sex. Taking the time to find ideal matches to go on sexual adventures with will pay off in the long run. 

How Do You Know You’ve Found Your Sexual Soulmate?

After you’ve had a few body-shaking orgasms, you may be wondering whether or not you have found your sexual soulmate. If you always consider passing on plans because you’d rather stay at home in bed with your partner, your sexual compatibility and chemistry may be off the charts. If you have that with a person who knows how to please without too much instruction, you may have found your sexual soulmate. 

If you’re on the search for your sexual soulmate, AdultFriendFinder.com is always a great place to start! 

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Build A Stronger, More Connected Relationship with Tantric Sex

What Is Tantric Sex?

Tantric sex is about building a stronger, more connected relationship with your partner and incorporating that heightened connection into your sex life. The Sanskrit word tantra means to interweave, or web, energies, and this is precisely what tantric sex is meant to do. Tantra promises to mix sexuality with spirituality, increasing your understanding and awareness of each.

The main goal of tantric sex isn’t an explosive orgasm, though that is one of the most significant benefits—the goal is to strengthen the emotional bond between you and your lover. Tantra teaches you to let go of your hang-ups and concentrate on serving your partner and making them feel good. If you have chosen to practice tantra alone, masturbation becomes more of an adventure, and a journey of self-discovery.

So, what can tantric sex do for sexual and spiritual life? Is it good for everyone? Can anyone do it, or do you need to be an acrobat? Let’s discuss:

Who Can Benefit From Tantric Sex?

Anyone can benefit from tantric sex because you can tailor the teachings to your personal life and sexual struggles. Your gender, size, shape, age, orientation, or any other “hindrance” you can imagine can all benefit from tantric sex. In addition, you can use it to get to know yourself and your partner on a much deeper level than you ever thought possible. These are just some of the people who can benefit from tantra:

  • People with sexual anxiety problems that hold them back from enjoying sex and orgasms.
  • People with body anxiety who can’t see the beauty in themselves. 
  • People who happen to have penises that come to fruition too quickly, or not at all. 
  • Those searching for a deeper relationship with their partner and their orgasms. 
  • People looking to turn everyday sex into something spectacular. 
  • People with vaginas who have a problem maintaining adequate lubrication.
  • Someone who has suffered sexual assault but wants to feel more comfortable in an intimate setting.

Tantric sex is not a cure-all for everyone’s ills, but it can completely change your sex life and how you see yourself as a sexual being. You begin to lose your feeling of independence during lovemaking and start to experience what it truly means for two to come together as one, again, whether that’s you and your partner or you and your inner self. For a beginner, it is essential to learn the basics of tantra before bringing them into your bedroom (or wherever you like to get it on).

Incorporating These Values Into Your Sex Life

Incorporating tantra into sexy-time takes mindfulness and a willingness to give up your ego, even for a short time, to please your partner and let yourself go so you can feel what you need to feel in the background of pleasure. First, you must involve the senses, creating a comforting and erotic setting, whatever that means for you.

The Setting

Where do you feel the most comfortable making love to your partner or yourself? Many beginners will start in the bedroom, as it is an already comfortable place that you are familiar with. Create mood lighting with candles or sheer scarves over lamps that work well for the particular ambiance tantric sex deserves (overhead lighting from a ceiling light isn’t very romantic nor flattering to anyone, no matter how attractive they are). 

Clean sheets on a comfortable bed feel great against your skin, and your favorite scent, or some essential oils or scents from candles, can help you shut out the outside world and concentrate on paying attention to your partner. Then, once your setting has allowed you to relax, you can focus on getting closer to your lover.

The Practices Of Getting Closer

It can be difficult for some to look people in the eyes, especially for a period of time. While eye contact is communicative, it can also be intimidating, and make us self-conscious about what the other person sees. Many people who study tantra suggest having one partner sit on the other’s lap with their arms around each other and eyes locked together. If that isn’t comfortable, any position where you can place your bodies as close together as possible, with your arms around each other, while looking the other in the eye is perfect.

Remember, this isn’t the blinking game. You can close your eyes for a second if a feeling becomes overwhelming, and you can’t let it go, or your contacts are getting a little dry, and you feel the need to blink.

The purpose is to communicate your love without words. Show them how you feel with your eyes. Picture sending positive thoughts and energy through your eyes and into your partner. Build this trust.

Breathing and Meditating Together

Breathing is an essential part of tantric sex, just as it is in yoga, Pilates, or regular sex. But breathing together keeps you aware of each other at all times. It keeps you right there, mentally present to react and respond to your partner’s needs. 

Breathing together will help you realize when you are going too fast and need to slow down. It is also a form of meditation that takes up your conscious mind so negative thoughts can’t find their way in. 

Sensual Massage

An integral part of tantra is soft and pleasurable touching. Use massage oils or any other oils you prefer to touch yourself or each other. Pay attention to what you like, but more importantly, what your partner likes. You have looked into their eyes, and you have seen part of their soul. Can you now read what their eyes are telling you they want? Can you tell what they like, or don’t like, based upon the look on their face?

You make this about them, and they make this about you. So, you are not neglecting yourself by putting your full attention on them because their entire goal is to serve you. But, of course, if you are alone, THIS IS ABOUT YOU! So, pay attention to every sensation you feel and allow negative thoughts to slip through your fingers.

Sex, Maybe

These Tantric practices don’t always have to lead to sex, but when they do, it’s incredible. Remember to start slowly, paying special attention to your partner while feeling everything your partner does to you. Practicing tantric sex can give you the ability to not only slow yourselves down sexually, but it also gives you the mental capacity to slow down time, and pay attention to the details while not getting bogged down with them.

Edging is a great tantric practice to master, especially if your goal is longer and more satisfactory sex and orgasms. Edging is what happens when you bring yourself to the brink of orgasm and then slow down, so you can build yourself and your partner back up to it. With enough practice, you can do this over and over again, increasing the length of sexy-time exponentially. In time, you can have hot, amazing tantric sex for 7-HOURS straight like rock legend Sting.

Tantric Sex And You

Tantric sex slows everything down so that you can take it all in and increase your connection and trust with your partner. Concentrating on serving and pleasing your partner not only allows you to get to know them better, but it gives you insight into yourself, your goals, and what you want to feel.

You can also incorporate your particular kinks, such as BDSM, or choose not to have sex at all, but use the practice to enhance your relationship.

They say that a hug is almost useless unless you hold that hug for at least ten seconds. It’s the same for showing love with your partner. Cuddle for as long as you want, gaze into their eyes for hours and feel their body for days. Tantric sex is not a goal unto itself but a means to reach your own goals. And the literature on the subject is widely available for anyone who wants to incorporate these practices, and others not mentioned, into their lives. 

Give it a try, and let us know how it goes in the member advice lines!

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Is the United States More Sexually Repressed Than Other Countries?

There’s a longstanding belief that the United States is more uptight about sex than other countries. That may not be entirely true, especially in some subcultures in the States (we see you, kinksters), but there is some truth to nearly every cliché, so let’s explore where this one got its start.

1 The Puritans Founded The Colonies

We’ll spare you the history lesson, but you may recall that when the colonies first started in America, it wasn’t a bunch of wild sex addicts who decided to voyage over to the new continent. In fact, many who made the journey were devoutly religious and very repressed. Those social norms set in quickly and remain in many communities as remnants of colonial times.

In contrast, look at Australia, which got its starting population at least in part by serving as a penal colony for wayward criminals. Let there be no doubt, criminals and miscreants know a lot more about having adventurous sex than puritans and religious sects. 

That could be why we see things like prudish former Attorney General John Ashcroft wasting $8,000 of taxpayer money to cover up the breasts of a statue on public land while things like sex education are often left out of public school curriculums. Never mind the fact that they have been proven time and again to reduce unwanted pregnancies and curtail the spread of STIs from one ignorant student to the next.

2. Do We Like Guns More Than Vaginas?

That sentiment may sound strange, but the stats seem to suggest it’s true. According to reports, the average American will see 200,000 violent acts and witness 16,000 murders on T.V. by the time they reach the age of 18. Yet, if they see one nip-slip during a Superbowl halftime show, puritanical hysteria becomes immediately palpable. 

Video games like “Grand Theft Auto” don’t just allow violent behavior; the entire game is based on rewarding it. But when the game gets released and wants to reach a broad audience, they have to be most careful about any depiction of nudity or sexual activity?

3. Public Displays of Affection Are Often Shunned

Non-sexual physical contact has a profound impact on our emotional and physical well-being, according to a mountain of research. Being isolated or unable to enjoy human contact can destroy a person inside and out. Just the simplest things like holding hands, a casual hug, or a kiss on the cheek cause hormonal upticks in all the chemical compounds that cause humans to feel happy – yet Americans often avoid more than just making eye contact.

Especially in the pandemic era where you hardly ever see people greet each other with a hug, and handshakes have been replaced with a less affectionate display like a fist bump or a polite wave from across the room.

Meanwhile, Europeans are known for a double-kiss hello on each check and are fond of displaying their affection openly with others. As a result, there is far less stigma about being affectionate in public, and people wouldn’t even think twice about seeing a couple kissing passionately on a park bench.

4. Abortion Issues 

Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, the idea that some common ground must exist seems pretty plain to the rest of the world. But, of course, much of the world believes each person should make these kinds of decisions for themselves. Still, even in places where society is interested in steering those decisions one way or another, you aren’t seeing terrorists blowing up health care clinics and displaying massive posters with graphic photos of discarded embryos for their chilling effect.

Only in the United States have we politicized the pregnancy process to the point where most people aren’t even willing to have a civil conversation with others about it. That leads to intellectual stagnation, repression and eventually seeps into all other aspects of a culture. Beyond making the problem of unwanted pregnancies impossible to solve, it also has a clear impact on causing our society to be much more uptight sexually. Some would argue that is the desired result and that abortion is just a vehicle to achieve that more insidious goal.

5. Our preference for circumcision.

Though male circumcision rates have declined in the U.S. over the last decade, the voluntary surgery remains common, with more than one and a half million penises being clipped every year. In Europe, circumcision is rare and generally frowned upon for many reasons. Some argue uncircumcised men have more sensation in their genitalia than circumcised men, and many believe the natural look of a penis is simply more pleasurable. 

Still, the notion that your genitals require adjustment by a doctor within a week of your birth sets quite a tone for society to carry forward throughout the rest of your life as well. 

There Are Some Silver Lining Benefits to Sexual Repression

It wouldn’t be fair to overlook the one shining example of a silver lining when it comes to sexual repression. The mere fact that something is prohibited or frowned upon also makes it sexy in many cases. Things like BDSM, or even Anal sex, have thrived in American culture largely because many considered them taboo. Until recently, gay sex, interracial sex, and trans sex were pushed out of the mainstream, and each found a home in subcultures that turned these closed-minded views into fuel for passionate adventures. If you want proof of that, just see what’s going on with all the sexually open-minded people on Adult FriendFinder.