Category: Dating

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How to End a Summer Fling

Summer flings are typically full of passion, fun, beach dates, and a whole lot of sex. Whether you’ve decided it’s time to move on or want to end your friends-with-benefits (FWB) connection, ending a summer fling respectfully is always best. Plus, you never know what could happen in the future, and maybe you’ll be able to have sex with each other again, so you may as well be kind, respectful and end things on good terms.

This blog covers some steps to consider while ending things with a summer lover. Perhaps summer is coming to a close, and you’re ready to move on to other commitments or people, or maybe you don’t see the fling being anything more than what you’ve already experienced together. Also, getting rid of someone on your roster may make room for someone else with better sexual chemistry.

Learn the top tips on how to break up successfully and with respect for your fling.

Reflect on your feelings.

One tip to consider before you end the ongoing summer flirtation is to reflect on your feelings. What did you experience that you’ll never forget? Why do you want to move on? Once you understand your truth, you can have the conversation easily, understanding what you wish to express. Perhaps you want to explore casual sex with others, or you’re leaving the summer vacation hangout to return home. Reflecting on your feelings and using self-compassion to understand yourself and what you want is essential before having a breakup conversation. It will also help you be more confident that you have thought things out.

Perhaps, you would love to have one more sexual experience with your fling, or maybe you’re ready to move on completely. Learning if you want the person in your life at all is good to understand, as that may come up in the conversation. Thinking about your time with your summer fling is a highly personal process and may vary from individual to individual. Do what feels right for you to understand where you stand emotionally. 

Consider what you learned from one another sexually.

Recall your favorite passionate moments during your summer affair. Make sure you bring them up with appreciation to your partner. It’s always nice to end things by discussing what turns you on about them and what was memorable for you.

Using active listening skills when conversing with your summer fling is also important, as respect can be shown by giving empathy and care while someone is being vulnerable with you. Once you understand the reason you no longer want to be involved sexually, you can make better choices about how to end it. For instance, if you and your summer fling aren’t sexually compatible, you can keep things light and honest. You may want to say, “I like this aspect of BDSM or this kink, and you seem to like the opposite.” However, by giving chances for both of you to express your emotions and perspectives, the relationship can end with dignity.

You always have the option to explore what you enjoyed with your summer fling with the new you get involved with as well.

Have an honest conversation. 

Having an honest conversation is the best way to show respect to your summer fling. Chat about what made you happy and why it’s time to go your separate ways. Always be kind and gentle to the person, as they may react with pain, fear, or anger. Understand that you can hear them out and show empathy as much as possible.

A good conversation involves all parties expressing themselves and listening to others. Make sure that there is comfort in your summer fling communicating their truth and perspectives as well.

Make changes to incorporate the best elements of your connection with others when moving on. Allow for space when necessary. Every person handles situations differently. Be sure to show as much respect as possible, even if it turns negative emotionally. Get your head out of the gutter—I don’t mean sexually.

If you both can have an honest conversation and reach a resolution, maybe you’ll consider being intimate again. However, each couple is different and has a slightly different dynamic.

Establish new boundaries. 

You may come to an intersection where new boundaries need to be established. Do you want to remain just friends who don’t have sex? Do you have similar friend circles? Do you mind if you see them on a date or at a sex club? Whatever you both decide is best, communicate it and find a middle ground.

Some summer flings you may never want to see or have sex with again, while with others, you may hope to run into occasionally.

Once new boundaries are agreed upon, make sure you stick to them; otherwise, confusion may arise.

Conclusion 

Ending a summer fling respectfully doesn’t have to be challenging if you’re prepared to be honest and stick with your choices. It’s best to spend a little time reflecting and being honest with yourself to have the best end-of-relationship conversation possible. Use active listening to hear your partner’s perspective and show kindness even when you’re feeling upset.

Tell your summer fling what you appreciate about your time together, and end the experience of summer sex on a positive note. Be a good example to others during this honest conversation and show, by example, how to end things with care and empathy. You’ll likely feel good about how you handled it.

Also, keep in mind that you don’t want to wait too long to end things if you already know that’s what you want and how you feel. Prolonging a fling you’re no longer interested in can cause more pain than it’s worth.

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Quick Ways to Clean Up Your Place Before a Date

When you live alone or with a chill roommate, your apartment is probably ‘comfortably messy’ most of the time. Unfortunately, even really tidy people don’t keep their space as clean as they’d like to present with a hot date coming over for the evening. Whether it’s homecooked meal night, Netflix & Chill, or hooking up after a night out, you probably don’t want your hot date to see a landscape of dirty socks and piled-up dishes.

Don’t worry. Everyone does the pre-date panic clean, so you’re not alone. In fact, your date may have done the exact same thing if you visited recently. But if you’ve got a moment to check your notes, we can help you clean your place up enough to impress. Or, at least, get it clean enough not to embarrass you when your date breezes through.

The 5-Minute Panic Clean

Your date is right outside. They’re about to come up the elevator, or maybe you’ve asked them to wait a moment before you answer the door. You have minutes – possibly seconds – to make your space presentable to someone you hope to see naked later. What do you do? Here’s the five-minute panic clean routine:

  • Quickly gather and slam-dunk all dirty laundry into the hamper.
    • Don’t have a hamper? Toss it into the washer or – worst case scenario -hide it in your closet.
    • Stuff clean laundry into a dresser drawer, a laundry basket, or a clean space in your closet.
  • Throw all dirty dishes into the dishwasher. You’ve never loaded the dishwasher so fast!
    • Don’t stop to rinse; just fill.
    • If you don’t have a dishwasher, lightning-stack everything in the sink by size and start filling it like you were “just about to wash those.”
  • Soak a towel and scrub the kitchen and bathroom counters as quickly as possible.
    • Don’t stop for the sponge. A wet towel will get more grit and spills fast when you’re in a hurry.
  • Tidy Up Quick
    • Put things at right angles, arrange the throw pillows, and make things look neat.
    • Make your bed real fast. Just throw the blanket kinda neatly over the top and line up the pillows.
    • Throw all your roommate’s stuff onto their bed and close the door.

Done and done. Now, it at least looks like you make an effort, and your date will know that you respect their opinion. Even if you only had a moment to prepare.

Stress-Cleaning to Impress

Stress cleaning is a magical mental state that is, for some of us, the only time we actually clean the whole house like it matters. There’s nothing quite like knowing your date will be coming over – even if they’ll only see your place for a few minutes – to inspire some serious deep cleaning. But it always helps to have a checklist when your brain is halfway focused on the awesome date you have planned.

  • Do the Laundry and Dishes
    • Instead of panic-hiding the mess, actually take the time to do the laundry and dishes.
    • Gather all the stray laundry and sort that ish, then get loads running like you want to have clean clothes for days.
    • Soak your dishes, load the dishwasher, and handwash whatever doesn’t fit. Get your cabinets looking right so that if your date goes for a glass of water or a bowl of chips, they’ll see nicely stacked dishware instead of a kitchen nightmare.
  • Vacuum Everything
    • No one wants their date to step over a crunchy carpet. Unearth the vacuum cleaner and get every corner. Vacuum the carpet, use the attachments on the couch, and even vacuum your curtains. Especially if you have a furry pet.
  • Scrub the Bathroom and Kitchen
    • The next thing that will betray you is crusties in the kitchen or bathroom. Scrub everything. 
    • In the kitchen, scrub your upper cabinets, backsplash, countertop, stove, and sink.
    • In the bathroom, scrub the mirror, sink and counter, shower, and toilet.
    • Then mop the ever-living ish out of both floors until they gleam.
  • Get Your Bedroom Looking Right
    • This is where the magic happens, so get it looking right.
    • Make your bed.
    • Arrange your closet so everything hangs neatly.
    • Get everything off the floor.
    • Organize your dresser, desk, and everything else so it’s decorative.
  • Prepare the Couch for Snuggles
    • Make sure your couch is clean and free of debris in case things get so hot you never make it to the bedroom. Once vacuumed, arrange any throw pillows or extra blankets you might have.
  • Got Extra Time? Light Some Candles
    • Need more to do? Try dusting and polishing every surface until it’s time to get dressed. 
    • If you finished this list and still have stress-cleaning time before your date, light some sexy scented candles to set the mood.

 

Setting a Sexy Scene

What if you have all day to get ready for your date? What if they might be staying the night? If you’re feeling amorous, the right answer might be to turn your stress-cleaning frenzy into a bit of scene-setting. Going all-out for a partner can show them that you’re serious about impressing them, which is important if you’re hoping for more than just a one-night stand.

  • Dim the Lights
    • Use lamps, candles, or smart lightbulbs to lower the lights and recreate your lightscape for a sultry vibe.
  • Cover the Couch
    • Cover the couch in a nice throw blanket or sheet, so it looks and feels more elegant.
  • Hang New Curtains or “Curtains” Over Windows and Doorways
    • Hang curtains (or dark-colored sheets) in a fancy way over your windows and open doorways so it feels like a fancy restaurant.
  • Make It Smell Romantic
    • Use air fresheners, incense, or simmer some sweet kitchen spices to make your apartment smell good.
  • Light Candles Around the Room
    • Flickering candlelight is always a good way to set the mood. Use whatever candles you have placed around the living room and dining area to impress your date.
  • Prepare Their Favorite Snack
    • For your final touch, have their favorite snack presented beautifully on the table, waiting for their arrival. Even if their favorite snack is a candy bar, the effort, thought, and presentation really matter. Not to mention, you’ll likely both be pretty hungry after all the sex.

Cleaning up your apartment before a date arrives is a great way to show that you care. You are willing to put in the effort to impress them, whether you had hours of stress-cleaning to prepare or just a few minutes of panicked tidying. You’ll know you’ve found someone special if they find a way to compliment your space and the effort it took to make them feel comfortable and appreciated when they visit. Good luck! 

 

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How to Approach Your Partner About Polyamory

Are you considering a new kind of relationship structure, or are you seeking to be in a new type of relationship? Whether you’re currently in a monogamous relationship or interested in finding new partners open to polyamory, this article explains everything you need to know. The main focus is how to approach your partner about polyamory. There are things you’ll need to talk about with your partner, and how you approach them can significantly impact how the conversation goes.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory involves engaging in multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, with the consent of all involved. Sometimes, perhaps most of the time, these relationships have sexual elements in addition to mental and emotional. For many polyamorous people, there is a focus on humankind’s ability to deeply love and commit to more than one person at a time. So, in addition to being in romantic relationships, polyamory can also involve dating multiple people. This is how people meet more romantic partners they connect with in big ways.

Another word people use for polyamory is a shortened version of the word, poly. People are curious about polyamory, particularly when they hear about its existence. This relationship format is not for everyone, though some swear by it.

Approaching Your Partner About Becoming Polyamorous

If you’re interested in moving into polyamory with a partner, approaching them should be done respectfully and tactfully. People are interested in different relationship formats, and poly relationships are flexible in how they work. Both partners can chat about what they would like the relationship to look like. The relationship can evolve over time as experiences happen, so long as people’s needs are met.

Tact & Manners Matter More Than You May Think

An important point about polyamory is that it is not often a fix for relationships that do not have good communication, trust, and understanding already. Polyamory usually means that people need to be open with their feelings, communicate well and with tact, and be aware of communicating their needs and wants. Communicating needs and wants is essential, as is understanding and working with other people’s needs and desires to develop a relationship structure that works for everyone in it.

If you approach a partner about polyamory, choose a time that makes sense. For example, if your partner is stressed when they first get home from work, you may want to postpone until the energy and mood are more likely to be better suited for deep conversation.

Communicating a desire to be in a polyamorous relationship should also involve telling your partner how much you value them. If they do not feel loved, wanted, and respected in their monogamous relationship, they will be less likely to want to explore relationships with other people. Of course, questions always come up, including how time will work, how the finances could work, and other elements of relationships are also likely to be addressed.

Use Exploratory Questions to See if Being Poly Would Work for you Both

Using exploratory questions is a great way to get a foot in the door and see how the other person feels about the possibility of being in a polyamorous relationship. Asking your partner if they would consider discussing the possibility of being in a polyamorous relationship will let you read their body language, hear their words, and give them a little bit of time to think about it and do research before giving a definitive answer.

Some people also bring up polyamorous relationship concepts in conversation, which is a great way to feel your partner up and see how they feel about the topic. If the partner you’re talking to is uncomfortable, it will likely take a little time to get a feel of where they initially stand. They may, at some point, do more research and learn more about polyamory, which can also impact how they feel about it.

If your partner is not up for the exploration, respect that decision. Ask them if they might be open to doing research and reevaluating at a later point in time. People can ask plenty of exploratory questions, which must be tactful.

Avoid Negative Assumptions & Be Open to Their POV on Being Poly

Avoid negative assumptions and speak for yourself when discussing the possibility of being in a polyamorous relationship. Some people may feel that polyamory is a perfect fit for their philosophy on life. Others may find it quite far from their ideal. Over time and with communication, people who seem far apart in their views may come up with a format that works. That said, respecting other people’s thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants, is essential.

It may also be helpful to get some advice about polyamory from a counselor who is familiar with it or someone you trust before first bringing it up to your partner. Speak clearly about your feelings rather than how the other person affects your life. Your chat about polyamory should not be about the other person but rather your feelings on life and love and where your relationship could move positively in the future.

Understanding Your Own Dating Needs is the First Step

Some healthy introspection is a great plan. By thinking about your needs, you will learn more about your motivations. If there are issues in your marriage, for example, just moving over to a polyamorous relationship won’t fix them. They could even pull you further away from your partner.

Do your research and learn more about polyamory in general. This includes the positives, as well as the potential roadblocks that could come up. Reading relationship stories from people who have been in or tried polyamorous relationships is a good plan. Learn more about how this type of relationship affected the relationships you read about. Remember that you will also need to talk about whether you will be public about your polyamory and how that could affect your relationships with family members, friends, and more.

Learn To Speak The Same Language As Your Mate

Different people have different ways of communicating. If you haven’t already invested with your current partner in finding ways to communicate well, it’s a good idea to do this before talking about polyamory. Being in a polyamorous relationship means speaking the same style when needed and being on the same page. A commitment to polyamory also often means a commitment to even more communication than your current relationship.

Continue Investing In Your Original Relationship

If you decide to try polyamory out, you will need to continue to invest in your relationship for it to be successful over the long term. While discussing polyamory with a partner, you should continue investing in your relationship. The unions you have can be made stronger, shattered, or stay on the same track or similar track that they are already on. Feelings of jealousy can occur; these feelings are natural.

How each person responds to the jealousy, how they communicate with each other about it, and possible ways to mitigate it are essential. There are different ways people can continue investing in their relationships, too. Polyamory is not about lessening the existing relationships but rather about helping enhance relationships and grow.

Have A Clear Picture of What Poly Means to Both of You

Have a clear picture of what you want and are looking for. That said, keep in mind there may be some negotiation, and your initial picture may change and adjust based on your partner’s needs and on things you may have yet to consider. You and your partner must be on the same team for a polyamorous relationship to work well.

Consider whether you are looking for an open relationship when it comes to flirting or sex or whether you are interested specifically in dating other people and fostering deep, loving long-term relationships.

Polyamory can take on different structures and be done in different ways. As long as you and your partner want the same things, the relationship can work well.

Sometimes Letting Your Partner Start is Better

Sometimes it’s best to let the person who is a little more hesitant venture out first. Thinking about polyamory’s potential benefits, taking things slow, and being supportive of each other can pay big dividends. Encouraging your partner to try it out first is helpful, particularly if they feel jealous or guilty. There are many ways to build trust and communicate well in polyamory, and this is just one of the options.

Some Final Notes About Starting a Polyamorous Relationship

One of the essential parts of being in a polyamorous relationship, especially in the approach, is continuing to invest in your relationship and letting your partner know that you value and love them. Using tact in conversation and choosing the right time to communicate with your partner is also essential.

Polyamorous relationships can have many of the same issues other relationships can, so making sure both people are on the same page is a big part of what makes them work. Communication, scheduling, investment, trust, and love are all needed. Polyamory can be a fantastic experience, and the idea that people can love and connect on deeper levels with more than one person can be quite liberating. So live your best life, have an open mind, and shoot for the stars wherever you find them!

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Hot New Sex and Dating Trend Predictions for 2023

As 2023 comes gets off to a running start, people are putting their New Year’s resolutions into action. Whether you’re excited about dating and looking for romantic relationships or you’re more interested in casual sex and fuck buddies, knowing the outlook for dating in 2023 can help you plan ahead. Our dating trend predictions for 2023 will help you understand where things are going and get an advantage when pursuing relationships of all types.

The Dating World Has Changed

The pandemic has forever changed how we date, moving things even further into the online realm. While we may not need Zoom dates like during the lockdown, it’s still an excellent way to get to know people and learn about your options before you venture into the real world. That said, people are getting increasingly more excited to get out and meet up in person after being locked up in the house for so long. That excitement makes this prime time for going on in-person dates and meeting people face-to-face. 

A Quick Summary of Dating Differences

Dating preferences have evolved over the years. However, physical preferences in 2023 will look different; a higher percentage of people are looking to set more boundaries, and everyone is looking for more balance in their lives regarding dating, life, work, and relationships. In addition, people are prioritizing travel as the world continues to open up, which will impact dating and casual sex.

Outside of these, men will be more likely to reject stereotypes, and with many newly single people on the market, dating is expected to be a lot more common. Even several years ago, daters were speaking more candidly about sex. This trend will continue as people seek physical, mental, and emotional pleasure. This article will explore each of these 2023 dating trends in more detail.

Singles, Singles, Everywhere! 

People found their relationships tested during the COVID-19 pandemic, which led to lots of breakups. Now those newly single people are back on the dating scene, with many having little time to date. Some people seek a serious relationship, while others look for more casual fun.

Many People are Turning to Dating Apps for the First Time

Many people have used dating apps for years and are well-versed in how to navigate the waters. Still, a large percentage of people in 2023 are new to the game and still learning about how dating works over the Internet. In addition, people are excited to meet others and are often looking to start their first date with more knowledge and awareness of what the person they’re going on a date with is looking for.

Setting Boundaries Matters Even More

Single people are taking control of their dating lives, including what they look for when it comes to long-term dating and casual sex. Expressing and exploring what doesn’t work for them has been a trend over the last few years, though many people are setting even more boundaries than in the past.

Many of these boundaries are related to emotional needs. There’s also a higher awareness of how people can be intentional when they put themselves out there. Boundaries have also extended to planning social obligations. Again, this lines up with emotional needs as people look for more balance in their lives.

Modern Dates are Seeking Better Balance

Finding the balance between work, life, and dating, is a priority. While casual dating and casual fun have been less affected by this, the effects are still noticeable. People looking for long-term relationships prioritize work/life balance more, and about one in ten will no longer date someone who has a demanding job.

In some ways, people have less time for dating overall, taking more breaks, and making more time for rest and relaxation in their lives. Those looking for casual sex and other types of casual play, however, will be more likely to roll these things into their free time. Sex is known to reduce stress and increase happiness, so it makes sense.

Travel Dating for Sex Will Become More Common

Part of this is due to the increased number of companies that allow remote work. As a result, people prioritize traveling more and want to see the world even more after being less able to travel. In addition, the freedom to work from anywhere has helped people open up to the idea of long-distance relationships.

We Reject Archaic Dating Stereotypes 

Men are getting more thoughtful and introspective when it comes to gender roles. Many state that they’ve examined their behavior over the last year and are more likely to challenge stereotypes than before. These include stereotypes such as men should not share emotions and cannot speak openly with their male friends. Breaking gender roles in dating, relationships, and casual sex can positively impact dating in 2023.

Finances are Less of a Taboo Topic

Another general trend that will move more into the dating world is talking about money early on in a relationship. Again, this can be less impactful when seeking casual sex and other casual play. That said, money talk will continue being less and less of a taboo date topic. A higher percentage of people report setting financial boundaries in their dating lives anyway, so it’s the perfect segue to discussing money matters.

Setting comfort levels with what you are comfortable spending is essential, and that philosophy is getting more recognized. This can include an acceptance of less elaborate dates. Of course, you can still share fantastic moments with the people you’re interested in and splurge on dates; this is a note that both people should be communicating about what they’re looking for when it comes to spending money on dates.

Physical Preferences are Also Changing

People seeking matches in 2023 are looking for different things when it comes to physical preferences. Many daters are more open to dating beyond their typical type. People are also less concerned about going on dates with the type of person that other people expect them to be with. In addition to physical preferences, a higher percentage of people look for emotional maturity before physical looks. This trend has seen forward movement in both long-term relationships and casual partners.

Final Dating Notes for 2023

Overall, people are more aware than ever when it comes to dating. Some are still looking to meet others in person, though online dating grows in popularity each year. The changes anticipated in 2023 are positive. People are excited to live and connect with others on their own terms. Communication is a higher priority across the board, and people are more open than ever to having fun and going on dates. So jump into 2023 with a positive mind and get ready to get your date on right now!

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Holiday Gift Ideas For Casual Sex Buddies

The holidays are here, and people are always excited to give and receive gifts. However, gift-giving can be a little more complicated when it comes to fuck buddies and friends with benefits (FWB). You may want to give them a memorable and impactful gift without giving the wrong idea. Therefore, it’s essential to chat with your partner about expectations and revisit them before the holiday to avoid potential miscommunications. As for the gifting part, well, we’re here to help with that! 

Navigating Casual Sex Relationships Through Good Communication

Revisit how things are going with your casual sex friends every few months, especially right before the holidays. Tell your partner that you want to keep things casual and don’t foresee that changing any time soon. Having this discussion a few weeks before the holidays can help clear up any confusion that could come from giving them a gift. Still, the gift you pick can have a connotation to them, so choosing tactfully and based on your relationship with the person is essential.

What Kind Of Casual Sex Relationship do You Have?

Evaluating the type of relationship you have is an essential part of the process. The gifts you choose will reflect the kind of relationship, the message you want to send, and more. For example, if someone is involved in a sugar daddy relationship, pampering and luxury gifts generally come with the territory. That means that if you’re the sugar baby, you can expect lavish gifts most would only reserve for serious relationships. 

If you’re looking to get a sugar daddy a gift, you may want to gauge what you feel their intentions are. In many sugar daddy relationships, the sugar baby themself is the gift, so doing something special together can be gift enough.

For those in casual sex relationships, something relating to sex can be a wise and safe decision. An example is purchasing a unique set of lingerie that you know they will enjoy. 

Having playful conversations about sex toys you would like to try can also be an excellent way to figure out what your sex friends might like. Of course, going to a sports game, movie, or another type of event could also work. But, for the most part, stay away from things considered romantic, such as lavish jewelry, fine dining experiences, and flowers. If this is a regular part of your casual adult dating experiences, not deviating too much from the norm can be the top option.

Sometimes no Gift is the Best Gift

To some people, no strings attached means no strings attached. They don’t want to give or receive gifts, or go on dates or outings; they want to get together, bang, and get on with their day. If you’re with one of these types of people, you should definitely discuss gift-giving possibilities before you go shopping. Another option is to get something small so you have something ready in case they unexpectedly surprise you with a gift. That way, if they don’t, you just hold on to it, but if they do, things don’t get awkward. 

If All Else Fails, Talk About It

There are many benefits to bringing up the possibility of gift-giving before the holidays come around. People often like setting up spending ranges or limits between themselves and the other person; each is another way to keep things informal and help them ensure that one person is not outspending the other. For example, $20-$25 is the universal limit for no strings attached relationships. Many gift-givers also decide to give things that both people can use together, such as handcuffs or flavored lube. Gift certificates for a fine dining restaurant to use together or for a hot air balloon ride, as another example, can be considered a little more romantic than is preferred, but if that’s the vibe in your sexual relationship, go for it. 

You Can Still Put Thought Into Your Gifts

Getting something thoughtful for friends, casual sex buddies, and people you care about is part of the spirit of the holidays. For example, if you’re getting a sex toy for you and your casual sex buddy to use, you can also get lube, throw in condoms, or add some of your own creativity to it. A note or card about how the sex is fantastic and how much you enjoy connecting with the other person can also be a nice touch. However, remember not to overdo it; some people like giving gifts and continue adding until the gift is much larger than initially intended. This is why talking about potential budgets is essential. 

The Gift That Keeps on Giving 

Giving a small token of appreciation to someone you’re in a sexual relationship with is a good way to acknowledge that you want them to continue being a part of your life, even if it’s casually. In addition, the right gift can help you maintain the current status quo. While some people are nervous that a gift could lead the other person to want more from the relationship, communication and tactful gift-giving make navigating the holiday season so much easier!

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Five Sexy New Shows to Watch on Your Date Night 

Fall and winter bring cooler weather, making it the perfect time to stay inside with your loved one to make popcorn, pour a few drinks, and binge-watch your favorite shows together. If you’re looking for something new to watch that puts you both in the mood for more, we got you. Here are five of our favorite binge-worthy series that may have you pausing the show for a little sexy time!

1. How to Build a Sex Room

We’ll start the list with a sexy and fun show that will get your creativity flowing and may give you a few ideas on how to spice things up. How to Build a Sex Room is an interior design show where the designer, Melanie, works with many couples or partner groups to transform an ordinary room into their own personal sexual paradise.

Using any size room, from a shed in the back yard to a basement to a hidden room off the living room, Melanie talks with each customer about what, specifically, turns them on. Then, she helps them find new ways to explore kinks and fetishes while helping them broaden their sexual limits without shaming them or making them uncomfortable.

Melanie then transforms the desired room into something where lovers can feel completely in the moment with different sex toys, furniture, and even decorations that fit their specific desires. From hardcore BDSM to sense-play, sex dungeons to cuddle rooms, and all the dildos, whips, paddles, and ropes you could ever need, there is a sex room for every taste, and lovers get to learn new positions and sensations that they may not have been brave enough to try, otherwise.

This show is just the right amount of sexy and sometimes silly, so you can explore options with your partner and maybe, find new kinks to try on each other!

2. Bridgerton

For every romantic at heart who loves good historical romance, Bridgerton will be a go-to for your next binge session. As Downton Abbey came to a close, millions of fans were craving a new series set in a grand setting with some sassy repartee and enough romance that you’ll want to follow every sordid affair and relationship throughout the season.

Set in the early 1800s in the heart of London, eight siblings navigate high society searching for love and happiness in a society that cares only for status and appearances. As a new group of young women is presented to society, they learn to navigate friends and foes alike while discovering their own love interests and what romance feels like.

The series finds just the right mix of intrigue, romance, and mystery to keep every romantic firmly seated in front of their television as they watch the first three seasons and look forward to the upcoming fourth season.

Historically speaking, most of London was primarily Caucasian. However, the casting directors have opted for a mixed-race cast, making this show feel more all-inclusive. Initially, the cast included lesser-known actors and actresses. Still, a couple of big names were thrown in the mix, such as Julie Andrews, who originally played Mary Poppins.

While the show does not necessarily show any steamy sex scenes, it alludes to all the various sordid affairs and interactions while keeping viewers thirsty for more.

3. Outlander

With a combination of sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, romance, and historical fiction, Outlander is every woman’s dream. The show follows a British woman named Claire who is somehow thrown 200 years back in time. In her own time in 1945, Claire is a combat nurse in WWII who is married to Frank and embarks on a second honeymoon with her husband. During this honeymoon, she suddenly finds herself in 1743, where her life is almost immediately endangered.

After Jamie, a sexy Scottish warrior, rescues her, she is forced to marry him to remain safe and falls in love with her savior. Her new marriage becomes a passionate affair as Claire struggles with her heart being torn in two different directions by two men she loves dearly.

The show is full of incredibly sexy actors and actresses and plenty of hot, steamy sex scenes that will have your woman begging you to rip her clothes off. Much of the show is influenced by historical accuracies, making the storyline easy to follow and the romance irresistible. The sex scenes rival those in most romance novels, making this the perfect show for couples to enjoy and simultaneously spark a sordid and passionate night of their own.

4. P-Valley

P-Valley is made for raunchy comedy lovers who get turned on by seeing a sensual and wild night with more backstory than a porn movie. The show follows a group of strip club employees in Mississippi as they work and navigate the world of raw sex that runs their lives.

While the show does have strippers and other dancers, the show is not centered around dancing. Instead, it centers around the lives of the employees and workers and the complexity of human nature. There is plenty of drama and romance for the ladies to get hooked on, plus plenty of eye candy and comedy to keep the men watching. There are also plenty of sexy and kinky scenes for everyone to enjoy, no matter your sexual preference or proclivities.

P-Valley is based on a book called Pussy Valley, and it shows the human side of strippers and strip club workers. There is drama and mystery, and the characters show a complexity that keeps viewers on their toes and waiting with bated breath for the next episode. The struggles of a business based on human contact surviving a global pandemic, the difficulty of working closely with someone you distrust, and the complicated nature of trying to improve your life keep the storyline fresh, so viewers are unlikely to get bored while binging this show.

5. Who Killed Sara?

Teenage beauty, Sara, decides to go parasailing with her boyfriend, brother, and various other friends. Unfortunately, this is ultimately the worst decision of her life since she falls to her death. Sara’s brother, Alex, is sent to prison for 18 years after being wrongly accused of murdering his sister, and his release sends him on a quest for revenge as he tries to find her true killer.

Who Killed Sara? is full of drama, suspense, and hot, steamy romance that make an at-home date night fun and intriguing. The show has complex characters with new information constantly coming to light, enough plot twists to keep everyone guessing the truth, and enough passion, romance, and sex to spice up the mood between you and your partner.

As Alex searches for the truth, he discovers things about his sister that he never knew while finding that not all the friends present when she died were actually friends of his family. His intensity and fiery demeanor make Alex a compelling character, and the storyline and plot keep fans guessing who Sara’s real killer is, even if that killer was alone in their actions.

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What is Cuffing Season, and Why Does it Happen During the Holidays?

Cuffing season is on the horizon, and lonely singles everywhere are scrambling to find a partner to keep them warm during the chilly months. Flying solo is all fun and games during spring fever and even sexy summer when everyone is wearing less and hooking up more. But come October, people start longing for a bit more intimacy in their sexual relationships.  

Urban Dictionary defines cuffing season as: 

“Usually the colder months; i.e. fall or winter, when new relationships start and old relationships turn into engagements. The persons in said relationships are “cuffed,” meaning that they no longer seek non-platonic relationships with others.”

So, what is it about cuffing season that makes everyone feel extra romantic?

Winter Brings a Mood Change

The cuffing season starts in late fall, as soon as the temperatures drop, and ends right after Valentine’s Day. Without the natural dopamine hit we get from regular sun exposure, many start looking for other ways to make themselves feel good. Sex and cuddling are scientifically proven to get those chemicals pumping and boost your mood. That makes October through February the perfect time to find a sexy new partner to help you see the bright side of things. 

Tis’ the Season for Cuffing

The holidays tend to put people in a better mood, which inspires all sorts of sexual activity. Halloween is arguably the sexiest holiday of the year, but while people are out partying, they’re keeping an eye out for their next romantic partner. After all, who wants to show up to Thanksgiving dinner without a date and spend the day dodging questions about your relationship status from nosey family members?

Thanksgiving also provides plenty of opportunities for people to get cuffed, especially with hometown exes and everyone visiting home for the holiday. The night before Thanksgiving is known as one of the biggest party nights of the year, and many take advantage of the festive mood before heading to their big family dinner the next day. That makes it the perfect opportunity to link up with an old flame for the holiday season. 

Christmas and Hanukkah also inspire their fair share of hookups, as the season of giving means many will be getting the gift of extra sex and cuddles. It’s also worth mentioning that many see sex as a great pick-me-up to get them through the stressful holiday season, so why not take advantage and hook up with your hometown crush for the next few weeks or months?

Perhaps the most exciting holiday during cuffing season is New Year’s Eve because once you’re cuffed, you’re guaranteed to have someone to kiss at midnight. And of course, have a little private after-party after the big celebrations. 

Valentine’s Day Caps Off Cuffing Season

The most romantic day of the year also marks the end of cuffing season. Of course, if you’re in a relationship, it’s the time to celebrate your love, but even if you’re not, at least you already have a date, so you don’t end up celebrating alone on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

Get your Cuffing Season Roster in Order Now

The fall and winter months are busy on Adult FriendFinder, so now is the perfect time to freshen up your profile with an updated bio and sexy new photos to pique the attention of potential lovers. If you’re looking for other ways to get attention, try broadcasting live or start a blog to bring your fellow members along on your cuffing season adventures. 

Good luck, and happy cuffing! 

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Answering the Age Old Question – Your Place or Mine?

If you’re on a date and things take a sexy turn, you may ask the age-old question: your place or mine? This article explores which location works best in certain situations and how to suggest a change of venue without sounding too eager to get naked.

Make a Plan

People spend a lot of time planning the perfect date, thinking about what to wear, where to go, and what to do. It seems tedious, but planning pays off. Especially if, after the date, both parties decide they’d like to move things to a more comfortable (and private) venue. 

Planning can help avoid disappointing goodbyes where you find yourselves standing at someone’s front door awkwardly, settling for a kiss on the cheek before sauntering off into the night. 

When figuring out how post-date logistics will work, remember that they can be a little more complex than simply choosing a location. You must build each other’s trust, get comfortable, and ensure you both know you can adjust the plan or leave quickly.

Choose a Place for the Date

Pick a date location that’s easy to get to and preferably near one or both of your homes, so you have a place that’s easily accessible should things get steamy. If you live alone or in a place where privacy isn’t an issue, your place may be the ideal choice should you decide to take things further than a public venue will allow. By bringing someone to your place, you also have the opportunity to show them the real you in case you’re hoping for more than a one-night stand. Plus, being at your place allows you to control the environment more easily. You can talk to roommates, minimize distractions, and ensure yummy snacks are available.

If your place isn’t an option, make that known early and see if your date offers theirs as an alternative. If they do, great! If not, drop a few hints towards the end of the date and see where it leads. Just try not to be too pushy, as you don’t want to scare them away.

Choose a Meeting Spot

Once you’ve mapped out your date, choose a meeting spot that works for both of you. If you’re meeting in person for the first time, you may opt to meet at a bar or restaurant so everyone feels comfortable and safe. If you’re a little better acquainted and feel safe doing so, you could propose meeting up at your place to build trust should you return later for a nightcap. In addition to helping your date feel more comfortable returning for sex at the end of the night, meeting up at your place provides plenty of conversation starters when they see your passions and what you have on display.

Should you decide that meeting up at their place is a better option, grab a glass of wine or water before you leave, use the bathroom to freshen up, and compliment the other person’s home. While you’re there, take note of any conversation starters you see lying around.

Date Dos and Don’ts

While on the date, continue to build up a comfort level between the two of you. Remember, if you suggest continuing the date at someone’s house later, you must lay the groundwork. Some people are all about physical contact when getting to know another person, while others prefer to chat a bit first. Even if you’re both looking for casual sex, read their body language to determine which category they fall into so you don’t go too far too soon.

Ease Into Things

Once you sense the date portion of the evening is coming to an end, compliment your date and let them know you’re having a great time with them. This could help you lead into a comment about not wanting the night to end, then gently suggesting you move things somewhere a little more private. A simple statement like “I had a great time tonight, do you want to come (insert specific activity)” could be the thing that starts the most exciting part of the evening. You can also mention the proximity of your place, inserting the activity or something you’d like to show them, such as artwork, music albums, or other things. Finally, if you want to go the more straightforward route, you could let them know that you enjoy their company and want to spend a little more time together.

The Fun Begins

Once you arrive at your next venue, try to avoid discussing sex the second you walk through the front door. Instead, keep things casual with great conversation, and if you offered them a reason to come up to your place, stay true to your word. If you’re heading to their place, be enthusiastic about what they’re showing you. There’s no rush, even if you’re both looking for casual sex. Maintain self-control, find things you both enjoy and let the end of the night flow naturally. Respect the other person’s boundaries, and if they’re not ready to go all the way, respect that too. Building trust starts with awareness, understanding, and tact.

When the Hangout Ends

After spending time doing aftercare, you should both be aware that spending the night at another person’s place isn’t a guarantee, even if previously implied. Take time to politely communicate with the other person, stating your intentions and letting them know your end of the night’s needs and wants. Always be aware; if a person wants to leave, let them do so without pressure. If you had a great time, let them know, and tell them you want to hang out again. Becoming friends with benefits can take time, and building trust is an essential part of the equation.

Good luck! 

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The Power of Scent And Setting the Mood

Over the last few years, ASMR has attuned many people to the importance of sound related to sex. However, there’s just as strong a connection between sex and other senses, including the sense of smell. For that reason, we sniffed around the Adult FriendFinder community for tips on enhancing the olfactory elements of your sex life.

Studies Have Shown Scent is a Key Marketing Component

Have you ever walked into a store and sensed a vague smell of fresh oranges, even though the store sold furniture or cars and had nothing to do with produce? That’s because marketing experts have proven that the smell of fresh oranges invigorates consumers who might otherwise be tired when they enter the store. The right scent means more sales for them, and it can also mean more dating success for you.

What Scents Work Best for Dating?

As usual, the answer is it depends. Reading dating profiles, chatting, and talking by phone before you meet may give you a lot of helpful hints, but here are some common examples and why they work:

Fresh Baked Cookies

Popping cookie dough in the oven before a date arrives can increase your guest’s appetite for a lot more than cookies. Add in the aphrodisiac effect of chocolate, and it’s easy to see why chocolate chip cookies usually work best.

Morning Citrus Awakens the Senses

Late-night booty calls can go horribly awry if you aren’t wide awake, even in the middle of the night. Bright scents like lemon or lavender are an excellent way to add energy to the mood.

Cinnamon

Many people subconsciously equate the scent of cinnamon with exotic memories. However, just having the subtle spice drifting through the air at your place may bring out the more adventurous side of any lover.

Ginger

Ingesting ginger can stimulate the circulatory system, and some believe that even the scent of ginger can have a similar effect, which is great for sexual stamina. Just make sure your guest hasn’t had a bad experience with figging in the past, as ginger may not be at the top of their preferred fragrance list. If you don’t know what figging is, look it up at your own risk.

Sandalwood

Often considered one of the most masculine scents, sandalwood sets the tone and lets your partner know you plan on taking charge. A simple scent can do so much to communicate your sexual intentions, and sandalwood is a prime example of that.

Leather

Unlike many other scents, leather is a fetish in its own right. This is because so many people can get completely turned on or even reach orgasm just from the unique sense memories that only leather brings out.

Perfumes and Colognes in Moderation

Let’s be honest. Nobody wants to walk into your apartment and feel like they’re swimming through a never-ending wall of your Drakkar Noir cologne. On the other hand, personal scents from perfumes and colognes can be great aphrodisiacs, and they’re also a way to plant future memories in your lover’s mind so the next time they smell your scent, they will think of you. Just be sure to use any scent in moderation. You want enough to be noticed and enjoyed, but not so much that it overpowers the mood.

A Word About Candles

You might be thinking you have the right scent to set the mood for your next date, but how would you be able to transport it to your apartment, and where would you put a huge pine tree even if you had time to acquire one? The easy answer is, scented candles! Avoid using chemical air fresheners and go with a much more romantic scented candle that provides warm light as well as the fragrance you find most appealing. As with any open flame, safety comes first, so invest in secure candle holders that won’t need to be constantly adjusted. Nobody wants to lose their erection as they wait for you to tilt the candles in another direction.

There’s Always Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina

If you’ve gone through the library of scented candles and still haven’t come up with the perfect scent for your sexual encounter, consider Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina! That’s right, the Academy Award-winning actress famously released a series of scented candles unlike the ones you’ll find at Yankee Candle, and by far, her most famous was a candle she claims has the same scent as her vagina. So even if you and your new partner aren’t fans of hers, it serves as a quality conversation starter, and in some small way, banging your new beauty next to her candle is almost like having a threesome with Gwyneth herself!

A Bad Smell is the Best Example

If you think all this talk about choosing a pleasing scent is just hyperbole, here’s an easy mental exercise that proves the point. Think of the worst thing you’ve ever smelled. Was it a backed-up toilet? Perhaps it was a trip to the garbage dump? Did some weird-looking guy who insisted on sitting next to you on the bus stink in a memorable way? Now that you have that sense of memory in your mind, are you feeling sexy? Of course not… and if you imagine having sex with that stench present, you’ll quickly agree that the way the room and your lover smell matters quite a bit.

A Final Word on Making Sense of Sexual Scents

A scent, much like all the other senses, is a very personal and intimate way to create a signature in someone else’s mind. Choosing something others aren’t using that’s tied to your sensibilities can often heighten the first date or turn a casual encounter into much more. The most important thing to remember is that these things matter, and taking the time to find the right scent shows you’re the kind of thoughtful lover who takes the pleasure of others seriously.

Which scent turns you on the most?

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Can a Relationship Work if One Person is in the Lifestyle and the Other is Vanilla?

Finding a true partner who is knowledgeable and active in The Lifestyle can be difficult and even awkward for a swinger. You want to find someone open-minded like you, who will be comfortable with you sharing your body with virtual strangers. Unfortunately, the emotional maturity that encompasses this aspect of The Lifestyle isn’t exactly something people are prepared to answer on the first date.

On the other side, staying within the known community can mean seeing the same faces all the time, shrinking the pool of options for long-term relationships. Sometimes you want to branch out and meet someone new, or maybe you find someone that takes you completely by surprise, and you start catching feelings you weren’t expecting. 

The obstacle, at this point, is what happens if that person is vanilla? Since vanilla is the more widely accepted and practiced lifestyle, most people you meet will be completely clueless to the ongoings of the swinger community. They don’t understand the mindset and may even consider The Lifestyle as another way of saying you’re cheating on your partner.

In the rare instance you find an ally to The Lifestyle who wants to date you, you have to determine if they’re emotionally and mentally onboard with The Lifestyle, or if they will expect you to switch to the vanilla lifestyle down the road. The entire process can be exhausting, but if you find someone who is worth it and ready to make it work with your differences, then the relationship will be one of the strongest relationships you’ll ever experience.

Explain Your Needs

When dating someone vanilla, it’s just as important to understand their views as it is for them to understand yours. One person can be a swinger while the other remains vanilla, as long as both are on board with everything it entails. Unfortunately, this means making yourself completely vulnerable in the early stages of the relationship and opening yourself up to difficult discussions that may ultimately mean breaking things off if you can’t agree on how the relationship will work. 

The most important part of this early discussion is that, as a swinger, you need certain fulfillments to make you happy in a long-term relationship regarding sex. Whether this means you need to bring other players into the bedroom to feel fulfilled, or whatever your specific needs are, it’s essential to make this clear in the beginning to avoid heartache and resentment later on.

Open the Lines of Communication

It’s also vital to discuss communication. For example, if your partner is vanilla, but they’re happy with you maintaining The Lifestyle, how much do they want to know about your external relations? Do they want to meet anyone you’re having sex with beforehand, or do they just want to know you’re going out for the night? These boundaries can make or break your relationship, especially if the vanilla partner is new to dating a swinger. It may take some time for them to separate the emotional aspect of the relationship from the purely physical sex that has no emotional connection to the swinger. It’s a fine line to draw and can be challenging to navigate initially, so prepare for a lot of communication early on!

Give Your Vanilla Partner Time to Adjust

If you decide that dating the right vanilla partner is worth it, then make sure you’re ready to slow down for a while as they adjust to your lifestyle. It’s typically easier to get used to them not wanting sex with other people. Still, they may have initial feelings of jealousy or become territorial if they’ve never dated a swinger before. Some ways to help curb these feelings would be slowly introducing them to some of your hangouts and discussing who you would consider having sex with. Point out what draws you to that person, and ask your partner who they find attractive. 

The simple back and forth can help them relax, as long as you’re giving them plenty of attention at the same time. This will reassure them that, while you find others physically attractive, they are the only person you want to be with on an emotional level. Open and honest communication will also help them realize that you don’t want to hide anything from them, which will help build as much trust as possible within your relationship.

Set Boundaries Together

One thing to keep in mind is that most vanilla people have never tried anything outside the Vanilla Lifestyle since this is what many believe is the only “acceptable” relationship. The Swinger Lifestyle, even if they’re aware of it, will typically be a whole new thing for them, and they may need some time to adjust and wrap their minds around the basics. So, no, you don’t need to connect emotionally with the people you’re banging. But, yes, there can be preferences and limits, like no kissing, or no bringing people to the house. Encouraging your vanilla partner to help set these boundaries and be honest with themselves may take some time, and it’s important to let them know that they can change their mind about things at any time.

For a swinger/vanilla couple that is together long-term, it’s common that, at some point, the vanilla partner will want to try out certain aspects of The Lifestyle. Whether this is watching their swinger partner pick someone up, watching them have sex, or even participating in a threesome or orgy, this is completely normal for them to want to try. Sometimes they enjoy it, and sometimes they find it’s not for them. Regardless of their decision, it’s important to remind them that their feelings are valid and that you support their lifestyle choices just as much as they support yours. But, again, it’s a fine line to traverse, and sometimes we all need time to learn how to best walk that line.

The most crucial part of everything is communication—even more than in a vanilla relationship. Communication will solve most problems before they arise and help you stay on the same page at all times. A vanilla/ swinger relationship is entirely possible, provided both partners communicate effectively and respect their partner’s lifestyle choices, even if they don’t practice the same things.

Have you ever dated a vanilla partner? If so, how did it go?