Category: Sex Advice

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Keeping Politics Out of The Bedroom is a Wise Idea

As the political races heat up, couples will have a harder time being intimate if they allow their political agendas to polarize their view of each other in bed. This political season, there are plenty of hot-button issues that revolve around human sexuality, and taking sides on those issues openly can create a fair bit of inertia in any relationship. Still, it’s especially damaging in a new dating arrangement.

Does It Matter If You Are Right or Wrong?

You meet a gorgeous girl and go out on a date. Everything is going perfectly, and you can tell things are about to get very intimate very quickly. She’s so fucking sexy in her knee-high boots and short black skirt – until she starts lecturing you about her favorite presidential candidate.

Maybe some of what she is saying is factually false. Maybe she has some significant facts mixed up in her head. Perhaps she really doesn’t have a clue what “constitutional” even means. Do you really need to correct her to show her she is wrong and you are right? Is that going to make her more likely or less likely to peel off her panties tonight?

Practice saying it with me: “Gee, I never really thought of it like that.”

You don’t have to agree with her, inform her opinion, or even share your own views. Just get off the topic and move on to something much more entertaining. Acknowledging their point of view without expressing any agreement or disagreement is the easiest way to make your lover feel heard without having to listen to another word!

Sure, if you plan to spend your life with her and want to get married next weekend, then making sure you share similar political views before producing offspring is a great idea. But if you aren’t planning on helping her get pregnant, you don’t have any reason to invest in her political education.

Nobody in history has ever gotten a better blowjob or earned a bigger orgasm by being correct about international monetary policy in bed. Even career politicians stay away from politics when they are being intimate. 

Drilling her has nothing to do with drilling on Alaskan land in environmentally protected areas. Keep all the political discourse away from your chances of intercourse, and you’ll find the political situation stays exactly the same while your chances of getting laid go up faster than the poll numbers of a candidate who promises to cut taxes.

The Culture of Being Right Is Bad For Sex

Sex in itself is all about compromise, sharing, caring, and being in touch with the feelings of other people. That’s pretty much the exact opposite of the culture of being right that you see when you watch cable news and see eight idiots in an octobox on your screen shouting at each other about things none of them are actually going to fix.

But, but, but… what about the issues?

Nobody is saying you should tune out of politics or leave these important matters for someone else to decide. It’s your world just as much as anyone else, and if you have strong views on the subject, you should always express them by voting at the ballot box… just don’t do it when you are between her thighs licking her box!

Sex is a fun diversion that takes your mind off the right to choose, climate change, space force, and all the other things that have people screaming at each other on Sunday morning television. If you really feel like watching MSNBC or Fox News after you finish fucking, that’s your call (though you’d be better off making her breakfast). However, even starting to talk about the topic before or during sex is the biggest buzzkill you can give your new mate on a first date.

The Presidential Election Matters Less Than Your Erection

Why would you want to spend your evenings in a shouting match with a pretty girl, telling her all about some presidential candidate, when what you should be doing is getting yourself elected as the new mayor of Pound Town?

There’s plenty of time to talk politics with the people who you don’t want to fuck, or with the people who don’t want to fuck you. Put aside your blue shirt or red hat, forget your feelings about your favorite 70+-year-old hopeful for a few hours, and give her the kind of long, hard-thrusting attention she deserves. 

After the elections, things will quiet down again for a while, and you may be able to include politics in some calm and civil conversations, but from now until election day, think of every day as erection day and stay away from the political swamp as often as you can.

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Five Ways to Increase Your Sexual Stamina 

Boosting your sexual stamina doesn’t have to be tricky when you have all the information at your fingertips. This article provides five ways to increase your sexual stamina by simply adjusting your physical and mental habits and lifestyle.

 

The areas you can further explore to boost your sex duration are diet and hydration, exercise, masturbation, sleep and stress, communication, and experimentation. Read below to learn how to redirect areas of your life for increased stamina during sex!

 

1. Healthy Diet and Hydration 

You may be surprised how a healthy and balanced diet contributes to longer stamina during sex. Adjust your current diet and reap the many benefits, including a positive impact on your sex life. Enjoy a range of healthy foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. 

 

Hydrate and drink water to flesh out any built-up toxins and support your body. By staying hydrated, your sexual performance will naturally improve as well. Being consistent with a good diet and adequate hydration can also improve sexual stamina over time. 

 

2. Regular Exercise 

Exercise always keeps us healthy and able to last longer in the bedroom. Try a combination of cardiovascular exercise (such as running, swimming, cycling, or dancing) and strength training. Both kinds of activity improve the body, help with blood flow, and tone our muscles, which helps us last longer during sex. 

 

Additionally, practicing Kegel exercises targets the pelvic floor muscles, which play a role in sexual stamina. Whether you are a man trying to last longer or a woman wanting to feel better for longer, practicing Kegel exercises is beneficial. 

 

3. Masturbation 

Not only is masturbation and cumming often good for you, but it can also help you understand your body to train it to last longer during sex. 

 

One method is to bring yourself to the brim of cumming and then calm yourself down before you cum. This method is known as edging. See how long you can edge and how close you can get to cumming without cumming. 

 

Better understand your sexual arousals and, with regular masturbation, understand how to focus your body into lasting longer during partnered sex experiences. 

 

4. Get Quality Sleep and Manage Stress 

Quality sleep can help maintain energy and well-being. Consistent quality sleep is crucial in many areas of one’s life, including sex and stamina during sex. Sleep 7-9 hours every night to maximize the benefit of sleep. 

 

Find methods to manage your stress, which may affect your sexual performance. Chronic stress can affect you in ways both known and unknown. It’s ideal to practice breathing techniques and relaxation exercises and find other ways that work for you to be as stress-free as possible. 

 

5. Communication and Experimentation 

Freely express your sexual desires, boundaries, and anything concerning sexual stamina. Open communication is the door to understanding; being on the same page with your partner can increase intimacy and deepen connection. Building communication, no matter what you’re doing, is how you succeed in your relationships. Talking about sexual stamina is nothing to be ashamed of, and feeling connected and understood is important. 

 

Be open to trying various sexual positions and varied pacing to see what works best for you and your partner. Experimenting can help you extend your sexual stamina and open you up to new ways to relate sexually with your lover. 

 

Things to Consider

There are several other considerations to remember, such as mental focus, keeping alcohol to a minimum, sexual learning, and more. Staying present and focusing on the here and now during sex may keep you out of your head, which could improve stamina. Alcohol and other substances may not be helpful for stamina, so do your best to keep it to a minimum. Another consideration is to increase your sexual knowledge, as this may increase your confidence. 

Good luck!

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Wild New Sex Positions To Try When Bad Weather Keeps You Indoors

Sex is a fun way to stay in a positive mindset, and many people find themselves getting it on more often over the winter months for that reason. For those who have mastered missionary and some of the other most commonly used sex positions, this is the perfect time to explore wild new sex positions to pass the time when it’s too cold to go outside. Here are some of our favorites!

Keeping Sex Fresh and Fun in the Winter Months

Keeping your sex life fresh and fun is essential. There are new things to try, and for people in open relationships, swingers, and those into group sex, there are new people to meet. Experimentation and exploration are part of a healthy sex life. Plus, a person’s desires and capabilities often evolve over time. So new sex positions and other ways to enjoy sexual play can play a significant role in pursuing the things you can do to maximize pleasure.

The Little Dipper – Sex Position

Named after the famous constellation, this position requires the person on top to have a little arm strength. Using a couch, chair, or bed, the person on top uses their arms to move up and down on the bottom partner’s penis, sex toy, or strap-on device.

Essentially, the person on top is sitting on the other partner, leaning back for the best angle for penetration. The person on the bottom can also use their hands to stimulate the top partner simultaneously. This position works regardless of gender and gives the top partner a bit more control overall, which many pairs like.

The Chair – Sex Position

This position is similar to the Little Dipper, though it involves both people on a chair. The top partner straddles the bottom partner, who is seated. Their legs are spread out, while the person on the bottom has their legs together. This is an excellent position for people who would like more back support. It’s comfortable and great for viewing pleasure, particularly if there’s a mirror to add to the excitement. 

Scissoring – Sex Position

Scissoring provides great pleasure for two people who have vaginas. It allows coital alignment and can be an excellent way to maximize enjoyment. Allowing both the women’s clits and labia to stimulate each other (the term for this is tribbing) also gives each person doing it a way to participate in the action. In many cases, the person on their back can move up and down, and the person on their side generally moves side to side. This multidirectional pleasure can be truly orgasmic.

The Doggy-Style – Sex Position

Doggy style isn’t exactly new, but people don’t do it as much as they should. In addition, there are plenty of ways to add some excitement and spice to this classic sex position. For example, people can use their nails or fingers to pleasure the front person’s back.

Some also find that playing with the other person’s hair can stimulate their partner even more. Rather than grabbing for the outside of the hair, if you choose to do hair pulling, grab from the root. Before touching your person’s hair, communicate with them and ensure it is not a boundary.

Bumper Cars – Sex Position

Both people are laying down for this unique position. One positions their pelvis and legs above those of the other partner. Each person’s head is facing away from where the penetration will happen. In this position, a person with a penis should be on top. Couples who do not have penises can always use a double-ended dildo or strap-on.

The person on top penetrates the person who is on the bottom. Individual vibrators can also be used, regardless of gender. Something to consider with this sex position is that a partner on top’s penis may end up at an unnatural angle. That said, the friction can feel amazing, and this sex position can work for any combination of genders.

Spooning – Sex Position

Spooning is another sex position people don’t often do that can help them get a bit more intimate. Making things even more pleasurable, kissing and nibbling on a person’s ear can lead to excellent sensations. Sex in this position can be a full sensory experience with little mental work needed.

Reach around your partner to play with their nipples or their genitals. Then, run your fingernails lightly up their thigh. This position can also be excellent for adding a little power exchange by pinning the other person down playfully or pulling their hair with their permission.

Cowgirl – Sex Position

This XXX position has a lot of benefits. It allows closeness and intimacy with the other person. In a face-to-face sex position, clitoral stimulation is also possible. Rather than doing the traditional cowgirl position, the person with the vagina lays forward and cradles into the other partner. The goal is to align both people’s bodies in a way that provides more direct stimulation to the clitoris.

The person on the bottom has both hands free, allowing them to reach around and stimulate the other, hold their hips, or explore other erogenous zones.

The Pretzel – Sex Position

Bring your appetite for sexual pleasure with this one. The Pretzel is excellent for deep, powerful thrusts. The sideways angle it provides gives different sensations, and this option is a fantastic way to spice things up while keeping it simple.

This intimate position allows both people to look into each other’s eyes. One person is on the bottom, lying on their side. The other person straddles one leg, making this a perfect position for grinding and penetration. Outside of this, fantastic erotic zones are accessible, including a person’s nipples, neck, hair, stomach, and the person on the bottom’s ass.

The Booty Cross – Sex Position

This position is best done when one of the partners has a flexible penis; it can also be an excellent option for people using dildos. When using this XXX position, both people feel more of their partner’s body as they move. The person on the bottom can offer some spanks or a butt massage if they like, and the position can also provide easy access to the person on the top’s back.

With this position, the person with the penis or strap-on will lay perpendicular to the other person, face down, forming a cross. Then, penetration happens with the penis in between the bottom partner’s legs. This position can sometimes take a try or two. First, the person on top does the thrusting, while the person on the bottom takes the penetration and stimulates their partner in other ways.

Some Final Notes About Winter’s Best Sex Positions

Choosing new and fresh positions within your capabilities is essential when you’re trying to keep things hot during the winter months. There are ways to spice up the sex positions you already know, plus there are hundreds of additional sex positions that may be excellent options for you. So enjoy the opportunities and have fun; pleasure awaits!

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7 Aphrodisiac Foods to Rev up Your Libido

If you want to get down, twerk better, and seductively tease your partner, sultry music and aphrodisiacs will do the trick. Aphrodisiac foods can be the golden ticket when it comes to boosting your mood and reveling up your libido.

Typically, an aphrodisiac is any food or substance that increases your sexual performance, heightens your sexual desires, and arouses freaky sexual instincts. Numerous pharmaceutical drugs claim to manage sexual dysfunction in men and women, but they may work inferiorly or have disastrous side effects.

On the other hand, aphrodisiacs are generally natural products or foods with few side effects, making them much safer. Since ancient times, seven natural foods have been found to boost sexual desire and function.

1. Maca

Maca is a sweet root vegetable that was initially discovered and grown in Peru’s Andes region. Since ancient times, the plant has been helpful as a remedy for hot flashes and fertility arousal. In South America, residents use it as a natural remedy for boosting fertility, typically referred to as Peruvian Viagra.

The plant is closely related and classified as cruciferous vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli, and kale. According to research, the ancient sweet root vegetable significantly boosts libido and manages impotence in rodents. Although its efficacy in humans is inconclusive, there are claims that it can manage erectile dysfunction in men and menopausal women who are healthy.

Additionally, the plant may help manage sexual dysfunction that occurs due to the continued use of antidepressant drugs. However, it is paramount to note that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved or reviewed the use of maca as a dietary supplement.

2. Ginkgo Biloba

Ginkgo is an ancient herbal supplement derived from the Ginkgo Biloba tree. The supplement was used as part of Chinese medicine during ancient times to manage sexual impotence and depression.

Ginkgo is classified as an aphrodisiac as it may help increase blood circulation through the relaxation of blood vessels. The supplement increases the level of nitric oxide in your blood which is intrinsic in achieving an erection.

Ginkgo is well tolerated by most people but may work as a potent blood thinner. If you are already taking prescribed or self-medicated blood thinners, it is paramount to take this supplement with caution. Also, it can interact with certain medications such as ibuprofen, Xanax, or diabetes drugs.

3. Tribulus Terrestris

This flowering plant grows in tropical regions and dry climates. Tribulus is also referred to as bindii, goat’s head, or puncture vine and has been used as part of ancient Chinese medicine for years. The plant raises testosterone levels and boosts erections in rabbits.

In research involving castrated rats, the plant extract significantly improved sexual behavior and penile pressure. The researchers concluded that Tribulus had marked androgen-releasing properties, which positively affect sexual behavior in animals.

4. Oysters

Oysters are the primary source of zinc. Insufficient zinc levels in your body can cause erectile dysfunction. Research conducted in 2005 concluded that oysters also contain essential amino acids such as N-methyl-D-aspartate, which are necessary for stimulating testosterone production in rats.

Oysters significantly boost dopamine which helps to increase libido in humans. The supplement also contains high levels of serotonin and amino acids which promote pleasurable feelings. However, research is still inconclusive on how the supplements enhance sexual drive in humans.

5. ArginMax

ArginMax comes in two formulations, one specifically designed for men and another one for women. Each supplement contains amino acids, L-arginine, and vitamins essential for improving sexual function. The L-arginine compound contains nitric oxide, which increases blood flow and enhances the relaxation of blood vessels.

The formulations also have ginkgo, ginseng, and damiana to increase women’s sexual desire. According to research, the women’s formulation improves sexual wellness naturally and gently. On the other hand, the men’s formulation significantly improves sexual fitness.

6. Red Ginseng

Ginseng is a prevalent medicinal herb used by the Chinese community. Red ginseng is a unique species of ginseng plant that helps manage various conditions, such as sexual dysfunction and low libido in men and women.

According to a study, the supplement is effective in managing sexual impotence in menopausal women. However, the results are not conclusive and more research is required to support the supplement’s efficacy. In addition, there are claims that red ginseng may cause gastrointestinal issues, headaches, and constipation.

7. Fenugreek

Fenugreek is an aphrodisiac native to Western Asia and the Mediterranean. The supplement is often used to boost milk production in breastfeeding mothers, but some researchers claim that fenugreek can boost libido in men.

The herb contains essential compounds which can help your body to manufacture sex hormones. According to a study, a sample of men who consumed 600 mg extract of fenugreek daily for six weeks reported better and more refined orgasms. They also reported heightened sexual arousal.

Scientists added zinc, magnesium, and pyridoxine to increase the extract’s efficacy, essential in positive sexual behavior. The herb can also increase sexual arousal and desire in women. In addition, the extract is generally well-tolerated and does not cause any disastrous effects in humans.

However, it is essential to note that fenugreek can interact with other medications, such as blood-thinning drugs, and may lead to mild to severe gastrointestinal issues. The drug also interacts with cancer medications and should not be used together.

Prevalent Aphrodisiac Products with Little Scientific Evidence

Some popular plants and products are believed to have aphrodisiac properties, but there is little evidence to support those claims. Such products and supplements include:

  • Chocolate
  • Honey
  • Chasteberry
  • Hot chilies
  • Alcohol

If you’re having trouble getting down and dirty with your partner, the above aphrodisiac products can help. However, it’s essential to note that the supplements may interact with other pharmaceutical medications. Therefore, if you want to improve your sexual behavior and experience erotic arousal and frenzy orgasms, start using small doses and progressively increase your dosage depending on your tolerance levels.

If you want to learn more about the best aphrodisiacs, you can check out the Adult FriendFinder member advice lines to ask fellow members about their favorites!

 

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Fisting 101 – The Complete Guide

Fisting can feel pretty intimidating to someone who’s never tried it before, especially if you’ve only seen depictions of it in movies like Chasing Amy, Waiting, and Fifty Shades of Grey. While it’s certainly not for the faint of heart, fisting is far more intimate than one would gather from watching Ben Affleck cringe as Joey Lauren Adams does spirit fingers through an imaginary butthole. In fact, enthusiasts swear that fisting triggers powerful orgasms they can’t achieve otherwise when done with the right partner.  

If you’re looking to try your hand at fisting, this guide will help ease your way into things so you feel safe, comfortable, and satisfied!

Make a Plan

Fisting isn’t something you should try on a whim, as you could get hurt in the process. That’s why you need to plan out when you’re going to do it, how you’re going to do it, and, most importantly, who you’re going to do it with. Decide if you want to try anal fisting, vaginal fisting, or both. And please, for the love of all that is holy (no pun intended), don’t even think of attempting both at the same time.

Find the Right Partner

If you’re new to fisting, you must find a partner you can trust. If you’re not in an intimate relationship, your best bet is to find an experienced partner. If you’re currently in an intimate relationship and you and your partner want to learn together, go for it! But be sure to take it slow and do your homework before you begin.  

Gather Your Supplies

Yes, you need supplies to do this right, and there’s no way around it. Here’s what you’ll need:

Lube – You’re going to need several large jars of good fisting lube. There are many great brands on the market, and the one you choose should depend on whether you’re going in anally or vaginally. We’ll break this down for you later.

Towels – Things will get messy, so have a stack of clean, dry towels nearby at all times.

Fisting Mitt (Optional) – If you and your partner want to be extra careful about STDs, then a fisting mitt can provide you both with an extra layer of protection.

Douche Kit (Optional) – This is great if you want to clean yourself out before the festivities begin. Be sure to only use it for anal, though. Vaginal douching can wreak havoc on your pH balance, which is the last thing you need when you’re already trying something as invasive as fisting.

Stuff Happens

We’re all adults here, so let’s not pretend we don’t know what can happen when butt stuff is involved. If you’re worried about certain things slipping out upon exit, clean yourself out with an anal douche before you play. Do this earlier in the day, however, so you can be sure everything is out beforehand. If you’re serious about being clean, you can also stop eating about 12 hours before the fun begins. It may not be the easiest way to prep, but many porn stars do it before a big anal scene to make sure they are nice and clean. And if something does happen, well, that’s what the towels are for.

Smooth Lube

Fisting requires more lube than you can imagine. Let’s dive into the different types of lube before you dive into, well, you get the point.

Vaginal Fisting: The vagina lubricates itself naturally, which does help, but it’s still not nearly enough when something as big as a fist is going in. Hybrid lubes are best (water and silicone mix) because they’re super slippery and gentle enough not to irritate the delicate vaginal skin. Sliquid and Liquid Silk are two good options to consider.

Anal Fisting: Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t lubricate itself, so lube with staying power is essential. Silicone and oil-based lubricants can offer the stickiness you need without irritating the anus. Boy Butter is one great option.

Crisco: This one is trendy but doesn’t smell very good, and it’s not compatible with latex condoms. It can also cause vaginal irritation, so if you want to go the natural route, try coconut oil instead.

Numbing Lube: Most experts urge consumers to stay away from lubricants that contain numbing agents because it makes it hard for your partner to know if something doesn’t feel right. No one wants to end up with surprise trauma at the end of what they thought was a great fisting session, so skip the numbing lube at all costs. 

Prepping the Fister

The fistee isn’t the only one who has some prep work to do. If you’re the person doing the fisting, be sure to wash your hands and arms before going in, and remove anything that could scratch or otherwise injure your partner. Clip your fingernails, and remove all nail polish, jewelry, and anything else that could harm these sensitive areas during the act. If you don’t want to remove your nail polish or want to be super careful, you can also slip on the handy fisting mitt mentioned above. Listening is the most crucial part of being a good fisting partner, so come prepared to hear your partner out when something feels good or not. Ensure they know they have full control of the situation; this will help them relax so you can get in easier.

Take it Slow

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you can’t expect yourself to take in a whole fist in a day, either. Prepare yourself with various-sized sex toys alone or using one finger at a time with a partner. If you’re serious about anal fisting, invest in an anal training kit to get you ready for backdoor intimacy. Either way, don’t forget the lube, and remember to add more as you go up in size. Some people are unable to take a whole fist their first time, and that’s ok. Once you make it happen, ensure the exit is just as slow as the entry to avoid any trauma.

The Importance of Aftercare

After being fisted for the first time, the fistee is going to need some aftercare whether you did it vaginally or anally. There shouldn’t be any pain if you did things right (taking it easy, using enough lube, etc.), but some soreness is normal after the first time. Keep the area lubricated and if you need to take some over-the-counter pain reliever, then, by all means, do it. If you’re the fister, check in with the fistee over the following days to see how they’re feeling and let them know you had a good time.

For more tips on anal and vaginal fisting, check out the Adult FriendFinder Member Advice Lines!

 

 

 

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The Power of Scent and Setting the Mood

Over the last few years, ASMR has gained a lot of attention as people began to think about the importance of sound as it relates to sex. Of course, it’s no secret that there’s a strong connection between sex and the five senses, including taste and smell. So now that sound has its day in the sun (or the bedroom!), let’s explore how olfactory elements can enhance your sex life as well.

Studies Have Shown Scent Is A Key Marketing Component

Have you ever walked into a store and sensed a vague smell of fresh oranges, even though the store sold furniture or cars and had nothing to do with produce? That’s because marketing experts have proven that the smell of fresh oranges is invigorating to consumers who might otherwise be tired by the time they enter the store. The right scent means more sales for them, and the right scent can also mean more dating success for you.

What Scents Work Best For Dating?

As usual, the answer is it depends. Reading dating profiles, chatting, and talking by phone before you meet may give you a lot of helpful hints, but here are some common examples and why they work:

Fresh Baked Cookies

Putting some cookie dough in the oven and opening the door with the scent of fresh cookies throughout your place increases many people’s appetite for a lot more than cookies. Add in the aphrodisiac effect of chocolate, and it’s easy to see why chocolate chip cookies usually work best.

Morning Citrus Awakens The Senses

Late-night booty calls can go awry if you’re too sleepy to enjoy them. Bright scents like Lemon or Lavender are excellent for adding some energy to the mood, so you don’t fall asleep during the fun.

Cinnamon

Many people subconsciously equate the scent of cinnamon with erotic memories. However, just having some drifting through the air at your place may bring out the more adventurous side of any lover you play with.

Ginger

Ingesting ginger can stimulate the circulatory system, and some believe that even the scent of ginger can have a similar effect, which is excellent for sexual stamina. 

Sandalwood

Often considered one of the most masculine scents, sandalwood does a great job setting the tone and letting your partner know you plan to take charge. A simple scent in a room can do so much to communicate your sexual intentions, and sandalwood is a prime example of that.

Leather

Unlike a lot of other scents, leather is a fetish in its own right. Many people can get completely turned on or even reach orgasm just from the unique sense memories that only leather can bring. 

Perfumes and Colognes In Moderation

Let’s be honest. Nobody wants to walk into your apartment and feel like they’re swimming through a never-ending wall of your Drakkar cologne. On the other hand, personal scents from perfumes and colognes can be great aphrodisiacs, and they are also a way to plant future memories in your lover’s mind because the next time they smell your scent, it’s likely they will think of you. Just be sure to use any scent in moderation. Use just enough to be noticed, but not so much that it overpowers the mood.

A Word About Candles

You might think that you have precisely the right scent to set the mood for your next date, but how would you be able to transport it to your apartment, and where would you put a huge pine tree even if you had time to acquire one? The easy answer is scented candles! Avoid using chemical air fresheners and go with a much more romantic scented candle that provides warm light as well as the fragrance you find most appealing. 

There’s Always Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina

If you have gone through the library of scented candles and still haven’t come up with the perfect scent for your sexual encounter, consider Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina! That’s right, the Academy Award-winning actress famously released a series of scented candles unlike the ones you’ll find at Yankee Candle, and by far, her most famous is a candle she claims has the same scent as her vagina. So even if you and your new partner aren’t fans of hers, it serves as a quality conversation starter, and in some small way, banging your new beauty next to her candle is almost like having a threesome with Gwyneth herself!

A Bad Smell Is The Best Example

If you think all this talk about choosing a pleasing scent is just hyperbole, here is an easy mental exercise that proves the point. Think of the worst thing you have ever smelled. Was it a backed-up toilet? Perhaps it was a trip to the garbage dump? Did some weird-looking guy who insisted on sitting next to you on the bus stink in a memorable way? Now that you have that sense of memory in your mind, are you feeling sexy? Of course not, and if you imagine having sex with that stench present, you’ll quickly agree that the way the room and your lover smell matters quite a bit.

A Final Word On Making Sense of Sexual Scents 

Scent, much like all the other senses, is a very personal and intimate way to create a signature in someone else’s mind. Choosing something others aren’t using that is tied to your sensibilities can often heighten the first date or turn a casual encounter into something more. The most important thing to keep in mind is that these sorts of things matter and taking the time to find the right scent for yourself and your place shows you are the kind of thoughtful lover who takes the pleasure of others seriously. That sets the tone and often brings out the best in each person you choose to be with.

What kind of scents turn you on the most?

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Must-Have Items for Your Kink Drawer

Everyone has one. A shoebox under the bed, a bed stand drawer, or perhaps a massive room most houseguests aren’t allowed to see. 

If you don’t have a drawer full of kinky goodies hiding somewhere but get excited at the thought of having all the sexy delights you can handle at your fingertips, then now is as good a time as any to get started. 

Stocking your kink drawer can be almost as fun as putting your gear to use with your favorite playmates. So let’s look at what every kinkster should have on hand, plus some less known devices that might amp up your creativity the next time you decide to meet up with a like-minded partner for roleplay!

1 – Cuffs

Cuffs and restraints are a must-have item for even the most vanilla bedroom. Why? With over half the population having some fantasy about being restrained or wanting to restrain a sex partner, it’s a very common way to play. 

There are plenty of options for the beginner to become more experienced. If you’ve never tried cuffs before, opt for a pair with fluffy liners and softer materials. The idea here is to keep hands, or maybe ankles restricted, but not necessarily in a painful way. 

As a novice, you’ll want to choose cuffs with big, easy-to-use buckles to start. Sure, it may seem too easy to get out of, but once your hands are covered in lube, you’ll be thankful you went with ease-of-use over there-is-no-way-they-can escape. Also, at least at the start, it’s much more about the feeling of being restricted than being completely unable to free oneself.

Are you feeling a little more adventurous after gaining some experience? Select a tougher material or something that appeals to the fetishist inside you. Leather, rubber, and metal are all available at various price points, with metal being the most expensive. Again, make sure that whatever closing mechanism you choose is simple to use.

If you don’t want to invest in hardware because you have company often or share space, look at something simple like bondage tape. It’s cheap, disposable, and looks like a regular roll of tape when being stored if someone else discovers it in your home. It also won’t hurt the skin coming off.

One important warning for anyone just starting to experiment with cuffs: avoid using police handcuffs or anything with a similar adjustable closing system. You can cause real injury by misusing them, as they’re intended for locking down violent criminals, not for submissives who are desperately seeking orgasm permission from you.

2 – Blindfolds

Like cuffs, blindfolds are a solid mainstay in the toy chest. Sensory deprivation can be a sexy way to heighten sensitivity because they can’t see what you’re doing or what will happen next. Just remember to start slow if you’ve never tried it. For some people, it can be disorienting and may cause anxiety, so as with any kink play, always have a safe word ready ahead of time.

Blindfolds come in various shapes, sizes, and materials, including BDSM-lite fluffy fabrics or leather. A step above standard blindfolds are hoods and masks. These cover the whole head and may include a mouth hole. Low-end hoods are made from Lycra and may or may not have additional layers over the eyes. Once again, listen to your partner and use a safe word when you start experimenting. 

3 – Electric Wands

Available in various styles, Shock Play has gained a lot of popularity recently after a wave of videos on kinky porn sites made the practice popular.

Many low-voltage wands provide just enough pop to earn your partner’s full attention. Be sure you and your partner are healthy enough to engage in kinky sex before trying these devices. Consulting your doctor is always a good idea, especially if you have a pacemaker or other medical device that could be affected.

From a quick orgasm to extensive edging sessions, an electric wand is an incredibly fun toy to play with, and it provides a much more elegant solution for sub-training sessions than a crop or whip ever would. No mess, no marks… just the joy of knowing you hold the ability to focus their attention any time you like, right in the palm of your hand. 

4 – Clamps

Your next step down the kink path is clamps. A clamp is what it sounds like, a mechanism that lets you apply pressure to something. Nipple clamps are the most common kind of sex clamp. They may be the screw type or use springs. Either way, clip them over the nipple and gently let the pressure build up. 

The screw type is probably the best bet for beginners as it lets you keep the pressure adjusted to a tolerable level. While they cost a little more than the regular spring-loaded clamp, you’re more likely to have some success when the pain can be controlled. 

Important safety tip: Makeshift devices like clothespins aren’t a great way to start because they lack the sort of fine-tuning control that real clamps allow. Go with real clamps from a sex toy store, and you’ll be glad you did.

For the adventurous, there are also genital clamps available that use similar mechanisms but come in different sizes and configurations to clamp the specific body part. For example, labia clamps usually come with four clamps and chains to help keep the lips spread open. 

5 – Lube

An often overlooked but critical part of your toy chest is lube. There are many types of lube available, but they all do the same thing. So whether you’re embarking on a marathon sex session, using toys, or trying to put new things inside your partner’s orifices, lube is the key to a successful and pleasurable evening without the risk of friction burns and unnecessary discomfort. 

There are several different types of lube available, and each has its uses. You may stick with one type or have a variety depending on your desires.

Oil Based Lubes – A scented oil-based lube can be used for sensual massages that will help get your lover in the mood and can also be used to help the orifice of your choice prepare for penetration. Oil lubes are great because they don’t get sticky or lose effectiveness. However, they may degrade latex toys and condoms, so they are usually not great for insertion.

Water-Based Lubes – Won’t stain your sheets, won’t damage your toys, washes off easily but doesn’t last as long as other lube types. Very kind to the skin but get a big bottle because you’ll need to reapply often.

Silicon-Based Lubes – Gentle on your skin and hypoallergenic, so it might be a great choice for sensitive partners. It lasts longer than water-based lubes but may degrade silicone toys and make them less sanitary over time. A good choice for skin-to-skin play but not the best for solo toy adventures.

6 – First Aid Kit

While it may not seem like an obvious item to add, just ask any experienced kinkster what they’d bring on their dirty desert island getaway, and they will tell you that a first aid kit is always at the top of their list. That includes a fully charged phone if you need to call an EMT, standard things like band-aids and salves, and other items like calm music for aftercare.

Sure, you will follow the advice other people have given you and have safe words and gestures pre-planned before you start playing with BDSM, but accidents can happen. Let’s face it, two people going at it and rolling around can run even a small risk of a minor muscle pull. Or, if you’re really out of practice, a not so minor one. Once you start playing in the kink arena, those small risks may include the odd bruise or abrasion.

You don’t need anything more than the basics, some antiseptic cream, band-aids, alcohol wipes, etc., but just be sure you have them easily accessible and know where they are ahead of time just in case.

7 – Your Imagination

Most importantly, have an active open imagination and do some planning ahead. The best toy drawer in the world is still completely dependent on its owner to turn inanimate objects into amazing tools of sexual satisfaction!

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Movies To Watch On A Date That Put You In The Mood

Valentine’s Day is on the horizon, and if a little Netflix and chill is on the menu for you and your sweetheart, you may be looking for the perfect movies to get the sexy times started. 

There are generally five movie categories that get people in the mood to get physical: romance, romantic comedies, comedy, action, drama, and horror. With movies being great fodder for conversation overall, it can be easy to tailor your movie night around your date’s particular tastes. For example, maybe laughing together at a comedy puts them in the mood to get naked, or slasher films give them the adrenaline rush they need to get frisky. 

Whatever the genre, we’ve got you covered! 

Why Movies Make for Hot Dates 

Dates can get expensive, even if it’s something as simple as dinner and a movie. By the time you add up dinner and drinks, movie tickets, popcorn, candy, and all the other things that come along with the date, you could easily be out a few hundred dollars. A well-planned movie night at home, on the other hand, can be just as romantic and leaves even more time for the good stuff. So picture this: you cook a nice dinner together, share some wine and dessert over a great movie, then move on to sexier activities.

Top Romantic Movies To Get You In The Mood

Romantic films are the go-to choice and with good reason. These tend to put people in a good mood because they’re filled with sexual tension and feel-good moments. So whether you intend to make it to the end of the movies listed or hope to get it on after 15 minutes, here are some films that are known for making people want to have sex. 

Match Point 

Match Point is a fantastic film with high amounts of sexual tension. Starring Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Rhys Myers, this movie brings the fire. With hot scenes in the rain, passion, and actors who connect, this movie is the perfect choice for people interested in romance.

Someone Great

Someone Great was released in 2019 and stars Gina Rodriguez and LaKeith Stanfield. Although the movie is about a breakup, there are plenty of sexy scenes to get the blood pumping. It also offers many conversation starters that make it easy to transition into making out.

The film is rated highly by fans, and we can see why!

Secretary

This romance film is a classic that’s especially popular among those curious about or interested in BDSM. The innocent-looking Maggie Gyllenhaal puts on a stellar performance, and James Spader checks in with a phenomenal performance as well. There are many hot scenes, with plenty of power exchange and erotic fun. Secretary is a remarkable film with plenty of humor and lust that keep it moving at a good pace.  

Moulin Rouge

Moulin Rouge is a romance, drama, and musical all rolled into one. With Oscar-winner Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, and John Leguizamo, the star-studded cast puts together a great reinvention of the musical. It was nominated for eight Academy Awards, including Best Picture. Taking place in a Paris nightclub that caters to the elite, this exhilarating story follows Kidman as a stunning courtesan and McGregor as a struggling young writer.

Pride And Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy

Pride And Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy is a romantic comedy presenting an adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel, set in modern times. While some humor and plot devices require an understanding of Mormon social and religious mores, it’s still a great way to start the conversation about sexuality from a historical perspective. 

Blue Valentine

Released in 2010, Blue Valentine is a highly rated comedy romance. In the film, Academy Award nominees Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling star are about an intimate and messy portrait of a disintegrating marriage. The premise finds the couple attempting to rekindle their romance while staying in a hotel. Blue Valentine is a movie that captures the passion of early relationships and the intensity of how they can develop over time.

Amelie

This critically acclaimed romantic comedy was nominated for five Academy Awards, including Best Original Screenplay, and the film was met with overwhelming acclaim nationwide. It follows Amelie, a shy waitress working in a tiny Paris café. After making a surprising discovery, Amelie sees her life drastically changing for the better. Dedicated to helping others and finding happiness, she explores the unexpected and finds meaning. But, will she do for herself what she has done for others? Watch the film with someone you are interested in to find out.

Brokeback Mountain

Brokeback Mountain is a film that turned heads when released in 2005. Two sheepherders, played by Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, start an increasingly passionate affair while keeping the relationship secret from their wives. While the effects of the affair proved to be agonizing for the pair in many ways, the film is filled with passion and brings viewers along on a journey of self-discovery. 

Casablanca

Casablanca is one of the most highly rated and reviewed films of all time. Starring Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart, the film is about a love triangle taking place in the city of Casablanca. Many foreigners headed to Casablanca looking for a new life during the war, and this is a landmark film and one that many movie lovers will enjoy.

The Final Cut

While this list is a great start, there are many other movies to explore for your next date night. To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, Titanic, Sleepless In Seattle, PS I Love You, One Day, and Pretty In Pink are just a few you can add to your watch list. Chances are you and the person you are chatting with also have favorite movies of your own, so add those to the roster as well.

Good luck, and have fun! 

 

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How to Have Sex in Public – Five Easy Tips

If you’re looking to make your sex life a little more interesting, a public tryst could be just the thing to get your heart racing in all the right ways. Sure, it’s risky, but it’s also a lot of fun if you know what you’re doing. Now, when I say in public, I don’t necessarily mean a scenario like the one in the movie “Crank,” where Amy Smart gets nailed in front of a bus full of tourists. Sure, that may sound fun, but it’s also a sure-fire way to end up in jail…or on some random person’s Tik Tok. However, if you’re looking to enjoy the thrill of a public romp without the need for bail money, these five tips could help.

Make a Plan

When it comes to great sex, spontaneity is best, but if you’ve never done it in public before, you’ll be far better off if you come up with a plan ahead of time. This will help you relax and not spend the entire time looking around to see who’s coming (ha, see what I did there?). If you’re not sure how to start, try asking experienced couples for advice. Before my first public adventure, I spent a lot of time chatting with other exhibitionists to see what worked for them. I ended up getting some great advice that made my first time sooooo much easier.

Dress for the Occasion

Your Insta-worthy floral romper may make for a cute selfie, but if you’re trying to bang one out and not get caught, you may want to opt for clothing that’s easier to deal with should you have to make a run for it. Stick with skirts and dresses (sans underwear) and button-up blouses that allow you to let the girls out without having to take your shirt off completely. It also helps to avoid bright colors that are hard to miss, so save your colorful neon garments for another day.

Location, Location, Location 

Picking the right location is vital, especially if you want to relax and enjoy yourself. Find a place with minimal lighting, limited foot traffic, and an easy escape route should you inadvertently find yourself putting on a live sex show for unsuspecting passersby. It also helps to scope the location out ahead of time. For example, I once met a guy who was really into the idea of banging underneath the Golden Gate Bridge. We weren’t sure how to make that work, so we planned an excursion a few days before to check out the location and found a perfectly secluded parking lot directly under the bridge. A few nights later, we went back to the spot (which by that time was entirely deserted) and went at it for nearly an hour without ever seeing another passing car or human being. That’s still one of my favorite sexual experiences to look back on.

Keep it Clean

While the world is slowly getting back to normal, one can’t ignore that we’re just coming out of a pandemic. So please, be conscious of that fact and stay off surfaces used by the public, such as park benches and public bathroom counters. And always be sure to clean up after yourselves. 

Leave the Screamers at Home

It’s always nice to know your partner is having as much fun as you are, but if you have a loud moaner on your hands (or dick, whatever), you’re pretty much guaranteed to get caught. It’s also a great way to get the cops called on you. I may or may not know that from experience…

Don’t Be a Creep

While the idea of having sex in public is exciting to you, it won’t be as exciting to anyone else who may happen upon your public sexy time shenanigans. So be conscious of those around you, and for the love of Thor, be sure you aren’t near school or playground. Seriously. While you’re at it, you may also want to check out the laws in your area, as some places have stricter rules than others should you get caught. For example, some jurisdictions will let you off with a ticket, while others charge you with public indecency, exposure, or some other such thing you most definitely do not want to fuck with.

If you’re still a little apprehensive about going all the way in a public place, start slow and work your way up to the good stuff. Try a hot n’ heavy make-out session at the theater first, or even a quick and dirty car blowjob if you’re feeling a little extra. Whatever you do, just have fun doing it!

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What To Do When Your Fuck Buddy Gets Too Clingy

Communication is essential when it comes to dating, though sometimes people in casual sex relationships are more lax in their communication than they should be. If you’ve ever had a sex partner get overly needy or dependent, you know that navigating these relationships takes tact and honesty. Of course, you should enjoy the time you spend together, but you should also make sure consistent communication about needs, wants, and desires are happening.

You can prevent most issues upfront by simply letting the other person know you want a no-strings-attached relationship, but nothing further. However, if your sexual relationship progresses and you think the other person may be catching feelings, it’s important to revisit the topic, so no one gets hurt. It’s an awkward conversation that no one wants to have, but there are ways to soften the blow.

Balance Honesty With Tact

Be open and honest about your feelings, but do so with tact, so your words don’t come across as insensitive or harsh. Let your casual sex partner know that you enjoy the physical aspect of your relationship and hope it can continue, but that’s as far as things will ever go. If you’re having trouble finding the right words, you can always turn to your friends on the Adult FriendFinder advice lines for advice.

Slow Down When It Comes To Communication

Sometimes the other person can seem a little too eager to get texts, pictures, and phone calls daily. Even if the sex is hot, daily communication can make your casual situation feel more like a relationship, sending the wrong message. If you find yourself chatting with your booty call about more than sex, slow down on the communication, so they will understand that your relationship is strictly sexual. If that’s not enough, let your casual sex friends know when the best times are to contact you, and only respond during those times.

Pursue Your Own Passions

When you find a good sexual match, often, you will have other shared interests. It can be tempting to enjoy those things together, but if you have no intention of starting a committed relationship with the other person, you must resist. Instead, keep your hobbies separate and avoid communication about it, so they know you’re doing your own thing.

Ask Your Partner For Space

Being honest and tactful is important, but if that isn’t enough, you may need to set other boundaries before losing control of the situation. Gently let the other person know you’re interested in spending more time alone, hanging out with your friends, pursuing your hobbies, and other honest bits of information that can help. Many people focus on fitness, reading, and cultivating healthy friendships with other people. Make sure to communicate that the relationship/friendship you have is casual and let them know you still appreciate and enjoy their company, just at a slower pace.

Focus On Self-Esteem

Depending on how connected you feel to your fuck buddy, you can take the time to build up their self-esteem. Remind them that there are plenty of people out there for them to explore their sexuality with, so they shouldn’t feel limited to just you. Make sure to pay attention to how they respond, however. Sometimes building up other people’s self-esteem, particularly without instilling goals of meeting other people, can make them want to spend even more time with you. So be thoughtful about how you communicate, and focus on elements of self-esteem that will cultivate independence.

Tell Them How You Feel, But Let Them Down Easy

Sometimes, a casual relationship will need to end or change its format. There are many reasons for this, including getting busier, finding a solid long-term relationship, and needing more alone time if a partner ends up being too clingy or having different needs. When this happens, be honest with them, but do your best to let them down easily to avoid animosity that could make it impossible to be friends with them down the road.

Introduce Them to Other People They Mayy Click With

If you have a casual fuck buddy relationship with someone and need to move on from it, you may have interested friends they would love to meet. If you are dating someone casually and they’re a fantastic person, this can be a great option. They get the casual sex they need, and things can potentially stay casual between you and them as well. For some people, this can also result in some fun group sex, threesomes, kinky fun, swinging, and more. In addition to pointing them in the direction of other potential fuck buddies, let them know that there are other adult dating options as well. If you met them on Adult FriendFinder, for example, they already know there’s a whole world of hot hookups out there to explore.

Work Out A Dating Arrangement That Suits You Both

Communicating what you want and working towards finding an adult dating arrangement that works for everyone involved is often ideal. Once you both settle on terms that work for you, check-in with each other frequently to ensure everyone is still on the same page and having a good time.