You met online, and you’ve been hooking up for a while now. Nothing too serious but a good friends with benefits arrangement that has you both satisfied sexually with the bonus of being able to hang out and share a few laughs whenever the mood strikes. You’ve both been seeing other people all along, and now one of you has gotten an invite to a local swinger’s sex party. Attending a sex party together is a big step, but are you ready for it?
1 – Leave Your Jealousy At The Door
No-strings-attached doesn’t necessarily mean there aren’t feelings involved. It just means you’ve agreed not to be a couple and all the baggage that entails. But you’re still human. It’s one thing to have an open relationship where you pursue your paramours independently. It’s another when you’re watching your partner fuck someone else in front of you, even if you thought it was hot as a fantasy.
Be honest with yourself about whether you’ll feel jealous or possessive. Be prepared to ease yourself into the situation, just in case you find yourself surprised by the odd twinge of the green-eyed monster.
2 – Have A Candid Conversation Before You Go, Rather Than During
Ok, sure, it’s NSA, but this is now on the table for discussion. In the same way, you negotiated your first few hookups to learn about likes and dislikes, chat about how you both feel before jumping into the Uber and heading to the party. If you have any concerns, no matter how trivial, bring them up now. One benefit of developing a relationship with someone you met on Adult FriendFinder is that sex has always been a topic of discussion. The same rules apply now, though you may have developed a deeper friendship and may feel some nervousness about approaching the subject.
3 – Discuss What You Want Out of The Event And Each Other
Be sure to cover what you feel comfortable with, as well as any limits or hard stops. If you feel more comfortable with them by your side at first because you’re, bring it up now. They may be the only person you know at the party and vice versa. Be sure that you both understand each other’s expectations and agree to them.
4 – Have A Safe Word In Place In Case It’s Time To Go
While you’re developing your game plan, be sure to have some signals in place in case either of you gets uncomfortable, tired, or just aren’t feeling the vibe. Agree to honor them, even if you’re having a great time – ultimately, you decided to do this together.
5 – Be A Good Wingman
You checked your issues and discussed everything with your fuck buddy. You both set up a list of what you want to get out of the evening and prepared an escape hatch if you need it.
Now go and have fun!
As a first-time participant, it may seem a little overwhelming. Just remember, these are people who love sex just like you, so enjoy the experience. When you first arrive, try to relax and get a sense of the vibe. You’re the newbies, so you’re likely to get attention pretty quickly. Still, it’s rare for people to be overly pushy and not respect your space or desires. People will be cool with hearing ‘no’ if they make an offer that doesn’t interest you. Don’t cock-block your partner if they want to do something unless it goes against what you’ve agreed – although your partner should support you regardless and not do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
In the same respect, don’t be assholes. Understand the house rules and be respectful when approaching someone. There will be plenty of other opportunities if the person you’re interested in playing with shoots you down.
Sex parties are an exhilarating and liberating experience when everyone is in sync and ready to have fun. People are, generally, very respectful of other couple’s wishes. So if your partner wants to get in on that gangbang, or be the focus of it, be supportive (or join in) and expect the same from them.
6 – Make Sure You Both Have Fun So You Can Do It Again
Hopefully, by the end of the night, you’re both grinning ear to ear, your genitals are buzzing from overstimulation, and you have some wild stories discuss on the way home. If you used the tips above, you likely had a fun time without any uncomfortable moments. You ingratiated yourself with your hosts and their guests while pleasing your fuck buddy with an exciting evening out. That’s usually enough to get invited back or give you enough confidence to find other sex parties you can go to together.
The Bottom Line
Swinging and sex parties can be an incredible experience. There’s a reason they’ve been happening for thousands of years and continue to gain in popularity. Sex comes with lots of baggage and potential hang-ups. Adding more people into the mix can exacerbate some of those, especially if you’re not in sync with your partner or partners that invited you. Respect for your hosts, their guests, and your partner will always make for a more positive and relaxed experience. By planning out your wants, likes, dislikes, and limits with a trusted partner before going out, your first sex party can be wildly successful and satisfying.
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