For some people, casual sex is straightforward. For others, there’s a complexity to it. By learning the best things to do before sex, during sex, and after sex, you increase the likelihood of finding a consistent friend with benefits, a dating partner, or a long-term lover. Communication and awareness are key, and being tactful pays dividends. Have the best sexual experiences by following the tips in this article.
What To Do Before Having Sex On A Date
Before you go on a date, determine the likelihood of sex and what your comfort level is. Of course, there are variables you won’t be able to take into account ahead of time, like how comfortable the other person will be with sex. Still, with enough conversation and messaging, you can sometimes gauge this in advance.
Depending on what people are looking for, you can get an idea of what might happen after a date. People might be a little bit different in person than in the messaging they’ve sent or what you interpret based on their bio. Be aware that it’s part of the dating process, as it can be hard to communicate everything about a person in text. Every day people are dealing with many experiences, which can also affect their mood and the likelihood of whether they’ll want to get it on when a date ends.
Before going on a date, take the time to research places near your place or theirs. While some people might like having sex in a car or in public, it’s usually best to have a more private plan. Having the date in a place close to one of your homes can be ideal, giving easy access to a place to have sexual fun if the date comes to that. Always respect the other person’s boundaries, and don’t pressure them into sex if it’s clear they’re not in the mood. Keep the conversation casual, build trust, and have fun on the date without anticipating that sex may or may not happen.
Once you get to your place or theirs, you may decide that you want to freshen up in the bathroom. Ask for a glass of water or grab one for yourself. If you have mints accessible, now is a great time to have some.
You should also make sure you have appropriate protection. For example, some birth control can be great for protection against pregnancy, but it doesn’t protect from STI’s. Condoms, female condoms, and dental dams, on the other hand, provide varying levels of protection. Many people won’t move forward into sexual fun without protection available, so take note.
What To Do During Sex On A Date
Primarily, focus on being respectful, tactful, and aware. Foreplay is essential, and if you’ve had conversations about sexual preferences or read about them in a person’s AdultFriendFinder bio, keep the information in mind. Consent is essential, so before trying any new sexual activity for the first time, make sure to ask for permission. Even if you’ve done something with somebody previously, asking for consent is still ideal. After hanging out with a person multiple times, you can discuss normalizing some of the behaviors. Even after you normalize them, it’s still valid to say no to specific things. Don’t rush things, and always look for enthusiastic consent.
Take it slow, starting with foreplay. Turning people on and getting them warmed up is an essential part of sex and can lead to more intense orgasms. Focus on different erogenous zones on the body, kissing, and light touches. If you’ve previously discussed kinks, fetishes, or other BDSM-related turn-ons, you can bring them up again. Go with the flow, and keep things moving naturally. Sex is meant to be fun, and while people might be nervous having casual sex with someone for the first time, communication helps keep people more comfortable, and building trust does the same.
What To Do After Sex On A Date
Immediately after sex on a date, it’s valid to express enjoyment. Things can flow naturally, as they would if you are having sex with a person you are in a relationship with. After sex, people may have a variety of needs. Communicating these needs is essential. For example, some people are into cuddling after sex, others want to take a shower, and some want to roll over and go to sleep. If you know that casual sex might happen and have communicated with the other person about it, these are some of the questions that you can ask before sex on the date happens. If you haven’t, gauge the other person’s wants, needs, and desires after the sex happens. Also, depending on whose place you are at, increase your awareness about whether or not the person would like you to stick around for a bit of time, spend the night, or head home. These things can also be communicated before the date, though sex on a date is more spontaneous for many people. If your needs don’t match, look to take care of the other person’s needs first when possible.
If you’re at the other person’s place, make sure to clean up after yourself. Don’t leave condoms and condom wrappers around, and leave the place as good or better than you found it. If you spend the night, consider ordering delivery for breakfast. Always make sure to politely excuse yourself from another person’s place if you feel the body language and communication are asking for that. If in doubt, leaving is better than staying. If you decide to go, make sure to communicate tactfully before heading out. Also, make sure the other person’s needs have been met reasonably.
In The Days After
Back in the day, experts advised people to wait a few days before calling after having a date, even if it had sex involved. This advice is dated. If you had a great time, you can message or call the other person on the way home briefly to let them know that you did. Texting them the same night and the following day builds trust and lets them know how you feel. This honest communication brings many benefits. Gauging how people feel, and being intentional with your dating, whether casual or more serious, is wise.
Final Notes
Sex is both simple and complex. Whether you have it on a date intended to lead to a short-term or long-term relationship, or you’re having casual sex, knowing what to do before, during, and after a date where there is sex involved is important. How people respond to sex and how they prepare for it can have lasting impacts on the future of a friends with benefits relationship. Keep things natural, respectful, and always pay attention to consent. With tactful communication, honesty, and by dating with intention, your sex fun can be fantastic.
AdultFriendFinder has all the tools you need to date, whether you’re looking to do traditional dating or casual dating, so check out the member advice lines now for more advice!
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