Those living with chronic pain suffer in silence, even as they slowly watch their sex life start to deteriorate. It may be difficult to talk about, mainly because there are certain stigmas attached to dealing with chronic pain that many tend to fixate on. However, the truth is that people with chronic pain can have a fulfilling sex life just like everyone else. It may take a little trial and error at first, but good sex is still possible – and encouraged!
Why Sex Matters Even More to Chronic Pain Sufferers
People love sex because, simply put, it feels good. But, pleasure aside, there are other reasons for chronic pain sufferers to have sex regularly. For example, Psychology Today reports that sex actually reduces the number of pain signals sent to the brain.
In fact, research using fMRI suggests that orgasm blocks or lowers pain levels in women and decreases headache pain. Scientists have also found that sex mediates the relationship between depressive symptoms and back pain. In addition, sexual activity can create other health benefits that are especially useful for those with chronic pain, such as improving sleep and decreasing stress.
People have reported these positive impacts for years, but now science has had a chance to catch up and show concrete proof that there is something to what people have noted after sexual activity. Those who suffer from chronic pain now have a scientific explanation for why they might want sex to relieve some of that pain.
How Can Someone With Chronic Pain Enjoy Sex Regularly?
A chronic pain sufferer can still enjoy a healthy sex life if they work with their partner to ensure they’re on the same page and working towards the same goal. The additional levels of communication between the partners will undoubtedly help with certain aspects of intimacy that not everyone gets to enjoy with their partners. In addition, it means that you have the chance to potentially reach a point where you can speak freely with one another about all matters related to your sexual activities without shame or judgment.
Here are a few ways that you might get to enjoy sex with a partner who suffers from chronic pain:
Engage in Foreplay – Long makeout sessions, sexual touching, and other types of foreplay can all benefit you and your partner when attempting to come up with new ways to engage with one another sexually. You can potentially strike a balance between penetrative sexual activities and the kind of activities that may lead to additional sexual activities in the future. Sometimes, the things a couple does before engaging in sex can be just as exciting as the sex itself.
Self-Gratification Together – Self-gratification is more manageable for those with chronic pain to engage in because they can access their own body parts more easily while still touching their partner. That said, self-gratification does not always have to be done alone. It can be very sexually satisfying to do this kind of thing together. Many couples say that they enjoy pleasuring themselves with their partner in the room.
Communicate During Sex – Communicate with your partner about what feels good, what may hurt, and what kind of things you want to try as a couple. Communicating during sex is always advisable anyway, and it’s even more important when engaging with a partner who suffers from chronic pain. It’s not their fault that they suffer from these conditions, and you want to be extra sensitive to their needs at all times.
Sexual Activity Can Mean a Lot Of Things To a Lot Of People
When it comes to sex, it’s always best to think out of the box. If you have clearly defined what sex is or should be, you may exclude certain activities that you might really enjoy. The danger is that it means you may eliminate certain opportunities for fulfillment and bonding with a partner.
Healthtalk.org reported that some chronic pain sufferers were highly concerned that their inability to have sexual intercourse was unfair to their partner, and they worried about how their partner would respond. As it turns out, most partners were understanding of the situation and willing to work with a person they love to find other ways to be intimate.
Some alternative activities that carry a level of intimacy include:
- Cuddling
- Holding hands
- Spooning
- Looking into each other’s eyes
- Hugging
- Kissing
Truthfully, virtually any activity that makes the couple feel more bonded together and promotes intimacy is worth pursuing. Unfortunately, people get caught up in societal definitions of certain words or ideas and don’t consider what they and their partners really want. That’s tragic, and we should try to get away from it. We’ll come out better for it if we recognize that we should set our own rules and standards for intimate behaviors.
If you’re a chronic pain sufferer and are worried about how this might impact your sex life, speak with your partner about it. Also, consult your doctors to see if they have advice about managing the pain and maintaining the level of intimacy with your partner that you would prefer. You’ll put yourself on the right path towards a more fulfilling and healthy sex life.
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