Category: Dating Advice

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Eight Tips To Help You Play The Dating Game Safely

Now that people are getting vaccinated and the world is inching closer to what doctors refer to as herd immunity, we’re finally on our way back to normalcy. Suddenly, the fantasy of just being able to go out to dinner quickly gives way to new fantasies of who you’d like to go to dinner with and what you’d like to do after the meal is finished!

As we adjust to what this new normal will look like, it’s important to remember to play it safe. Yes, we can finally start hooking up again, and that’s an exciting prospect in and of itself. But following these simple safety tips will go a long way toward ensuring everything stays open, so you can keep filling your dating calendar up with hot dating prospects. 

1 Get Vaccinated ASAP

This tip may be considered controversial to some. Still, doctors and epidemiologists agree that getting your shot is essential for your health and the safety of everyone else you come in contact with going forward. You can’t get any closer than when you’re in bed with someone, so after you find that special someone, it’s essential to keep them safe by getting your jab.

2 Make Sure You and Your Partners Have No Symptoms

If you have a fever or other symptoms… stay home. Yes, it may be inconvenient to bail on a potential date at the last minute, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Staying home, calling ahead, and saying you don’t feel well shows that you respect your partner, which is very sexy. Any savvy dating enthusiast will be glad you asked for a raincheck, and if you’re in the lifestyle, that could also get you some positive word of mouth on the dating scene. 

3 Standard Safety Precautions Still Apply

While we’re all trying to prevent the spread of COVID-19, we still need to practice all the traditional safe dating techniques we used before the pandemic existed. It’s fun to meet a total stranger for sex, but there are safer ways to do it, and you should keep that in mind. For example, make sure you get to know the person online first, have your first meeting in a public place, use the buddy system… and keep yourself safe in general.

4 Meet Somewhere Public

There was a valid reason to say, “why don’t we just meet at my place,” during the pandemic, but in general, that can lead to some pretty dangerous situations. Even if it’s more complicated, it’s crucial to find a safe and comfortable public place for your initial meeting. Restaurants are open at limited capacity, and parks and beaches have small crowds, but it’s still a lot safer to meet there the first time than in a totally secluded spot.

5 Let People Know Where You Are And Who You’re With

Even if you’re getting busy on the down-low and don’t want your spouse or someone else to know what you’re up to, pick a trusted friend and make sure they know you are safe. Tell them who you’re meeting, share their online dating profile, and any other details you can. That way, if anything does go sideways, you have someone flying alongside as your wingman.

6 Have a Check-In Buddy On Call

It’s helpful to arrange a check-in call before your date. For example, let’s say I’m off to meet some hunk at around 8PM tonight. I might tell my girlfriend Liza that his name is Tony, and we’re going for a hike on a public trail, then back to his place because I have a thing for Latino men with blue eyes. I’d also tell Liza that I will call her at exactly 9:15 and set my phone alarm to go off at that time. That way, if she doesn’t hear from me, she knows something is up with Tony. If she does hear from me, I can give her a coded message that everything is all good and call her later to brag about all the details of what went down once I get back home.

7 Using Protection May Matter Even More

So far, there haven’t been any studies regarding COVID and STIs or other health conditions that may be impacted somehow. That makes the always-true statement that you should be using condoms even more critical. It’s easy to suit up in latex before you get between the sheets, so do it! 

8 Communicate Honestly

Open, clear communication about your health is now easier than ever to talk about. If your date asks if you’ve been vaccinated, that opens the door for a conversation about anything else you should know about healthwise. Your partner may tell you to go easy on them because they have back issues, or you could get a more important backstory about anything from HPV to HEP-C or whatever else. Healthy sex isn’t just about COVID, but it can definitely be the conversation starter to chat about healthy sex!

Your Health & Safety Are What Matters Most

Yeah, it doesn’t sound all that sexy to hand out safety tips like some kind of XXX crossing guard, but the fact is the safer you play, the more you can play. Avoiding illnesses, making sure you and your partners have a great time, and coming home with a smile on your face all means you can continue to set up more fun conquests. Why risk any of that for a single night of danger that may sour your entire dating life or worse. As a community, we really do care.

What I mean by that is, everyone involved with Adult FriendFinder is a dating enthusiast who values your health and safety most of all. The people you meet here probably want to have sex with you, but they definitely want to do it in a fun, exciting, safe, and healthy way for everyone involved.

A hookup of mine recently said, “if you can successfully plan an orgy with 15 people before Covid, you definitely have what it takes to make sure the people you’re having sex with are healthy and safe when you’re done banging.” I always did like his way with words. Now I gotta jet, so I’m not late for my next date. Hope to see you online soon!

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How to Hook Up Safely During Hot Vax Summer 2021

Hot vax summer 2021 is here, and you might be feeling the urge to get out and mingle after what felt like an eternity in quarantine. But before you trade your sweatpants in for, well, no pants, here are some safety tips to keep in mind as you set up your summer hookups.

Go at Your Own Pace

Think about what you’re comfortable with in advance, and don’t be afraid to let prospective hookups know where you stand. Maybe you don’t want to hook up in person until you and your future partners have been vaccinated. Or perhaps you would like to find a regular partner to add to your bubble. Either way, make a list of what you want and include it in your AFF profile so it’s clear to those who might be interested in getting to know you.

Know Your Status

Get tested often, especially if you’re meeting up with people who are not in your immediate household. And don’t be afraid to ask your partners to get tested as well. Here are some questions you should ask every time you hook up:

  1. Have you been tested recently?
  2. Are you having symptoms?
  3. Have you been around anyone who is COVID-19 positive in the last two weeks?

If you aren’t comfortable with the answers to these questions, reschedule the hookup for another time.

Be Respectful of Boundaries

Not everyone is ready to jump back into the dating pool, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get to know them anyway. Some people may be feeling a little gun shy, or maybe they’re waiting to get the vaccine before they get turned up. Either way, respect their right to go at their own pace and let them know you’re ready when they are. Don’t miss out on a great future hookup because you were trying to rush into things.

Hold Off on Group Sex Parties

Unless you’re staying within the confines of an air-tight bubble, try to avoid large-scale lifestyle events for the time being. They’re still not allowed in most counties anyway, and even if they were, it’s still not worth risking your own health, not to mention the family and friends you would be going home to after the fact. Until the CDC gives the green light, stick to online sex parties, which in many cases can be just as hot as the in-person variety. Adult FriendFinder has a virtual orgy feature you can use to have virtual sex with as many as 20 people at one time.

Incorporate Mask Play Into Your Hookups 

Some people have gotten really creative and incorporated mask play into their hookups so they can still enjoy skin-on-skin contact without risking infection. It’s debatable if this method effectively prevents COVID-19, given that you are about as up-close and personal as it gets. Still, doctors admit the likelihood of transmitting COVID through semen and vaginal fluids alone is low.

Try New Sex Positions

People have had a lot of time to think while in quarantine, so they took advantage of the extra time and came up with some COVID-inspired sex positions. Pandemic or not, these look like a whole lot of fun!

The Covid-69 – This is LOADS more fun than the COVID-19. The top partner is facing upward so the person on the bottom can pleasure them from underneath.

The Masked Zinger – If you want to avoid face-to-face contact altogether, try doggystyle with a mask thrown on for good measure.

The Sanitizer Pump – This position can be really stimulating, and you don’t have to wait in line for it at Costco. One partner lays on their back with their legs raised and bent at the knees. The other partner then squats over and penetrates from above. It sounds a little challenging, but supposedly this allows the top partner to get in deep while the person underneath gets an extra feeling of ecstasy from the rush of blood to the head.

 

Check out the member advice lines on Adult FriendFinder for more tips on how to play safely!

 

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Is Adult FriendFinder A Good Fit For Someone Who Isn’t Kinky?

When I first found out about Adult FriendFinder, I looked at the site and browsed a bunch of dating profiles. At first glance, it seemed like everyone was living a really wild lifestyle. I noticed lots of BDSM enthusiasts, kinksters, and fetishists of all kinds. I don’t mind any of that; whatever floats your boat is fine, but that’s just not who I am. I love sex, but for me, sex is about intimacy and emotional connection, much more than about tight latex and electrodes.

I was nervous and shy as I created my profile, wondering how I would fit in being so much more “vanilla” than many other people I had seen on the site when I signed up. But, as it turns out, being kind of “straight and plain” sexually makes you rare in a good way for many of the other people you’ll meet on adult dating sites!

Yes, many members are circus contortionist-level gymnasts in bed and know every position in the Kama Sutra. Heck, I even met a gal who gets off on having sex mid-air while skydiving! 

However, I can tell you that on many of my dates, when I’m open and honest about who I am, the reaction is usually something like, “it’s really refreshing to just go on a picnic and hop into bed for simple, hot, marathon sex that doesn’t require a harness and a power drill, haha!”

 I learned that it’s totally normal to be “totally normal” on an adult dating site. Sure, you can let your freak flag fly if that’s your jam, and there are groups for damn near every kink I ever heard of, but ultimately the real benefit of joining the community is to be in a place where people are sex-positive without shame or judgment.

After talking to a few kinksters who became fuck buddies, I learned that some of those kinks and fetishes could be embarrassing or damaging to admit to friends, family, or work. For them, finding a sex-positive and non-judgmental community was really liberating, exciting, and a lot of fun to explore. Most of them said that while they love their kinky life, it wasn’t the only type of sex they enjoy, and they don’t always need partners who are into the same kinks. Like I said, sometimes they just want a picnic and a great fuck session. 

I did find it intimidating at first, hell – I hadn’t even heard of some of the stuff some people were into. But, it was actually a lot of fun reading and learning about some of the things that turn people on. It was certainly intriguing, and I have had several offers to “dip my toe in the kink pool” if I wanted to try. What was great was that there was no pressure to give it a try when I said no. Well, I did find out I like to hear girls talking dirty, but again, that’s pretty much-putting sprinkles on my vanilla ass.

After spending some more time on the site, I realized something else. There are more “normal” people on the site than I was immediately aware of. You scroll through so many profiles that the unfamiliar jumps out at you when you first use the site, the leather, the collars, the BDSM pics, and piercings. But, once you slow down and really look, you’ll see that there are a lot of potential partners who just want to get laid – no muss, no theatrics, just a good fucking. 

What’s funny is that over 50% of people in the US have fantasies about being tied up or spanked. It’s just that looking at a profile pic on a mainstream dating site doesn’t have it right there in your face, and few people are going to admit they enjoy “a glass of wine by moonlight and getting pegged while wearing a horsehead mask” in their profiles.

Let’s be honest for a second; sex is one of those weird subjects that many people are uncomfortable about sharing. As a new member, I had that initial culture shock around just how at ease everyone on Adult FriendFinder was about their tastes and wants and how open they were about posting pictures and blog posts about it. However, once that initial sense of being different passes, you can see just how broad the community’s tastes are, and that’s led to some amazing sex, some notable sex parties, and having a couple of fuck buddies that I see regularly. And maybe one enjoys a little light spanking now again.

My message to those of you who are like me and wondering if there’s a place for you on Adult FriendFinder is – do it! There are so many people here wanting so many different things to be whoever you want to be. If that means wanting to find someone to have plain, regular, missionary sex with the lights off while wearing a t-shirt, that’s great. You’re going to be just as happy as the dude who enjoys being hung from the ceiling by his nipple rings while someone spanks them with a vacuum hose and calls them a brat. Just be yourself, be honest with the people you play with, and you’ll do great!

Until next time,

Deven

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The Covid 19: Do Those Extra Pounds Matter To Potential Dates?

It all started as a joke. It always does. Someone on your social media feeds had the clever idea of using the term the Covid 19 when referring to the nearly twenty pounds of weight they gained while in quarantine. Now you’re home by yourself, looking in the bathroom mirror and having the sudden realization that you’ve gained 15 or 20 pounds while staying home and socially distancing yourself from the gym. These solitary moments can be plenty hurtful for people who fear even a few extra pounds will somehow ruin their dating life. Thankfully, we can assure you that isn’t the case, and while getting in better shape is always admirable from a health standpoint, it’s not the end-all or be-all of your dating life. That much is certain.

Won’t People Stop Wanting Sex With Me?

Gaining weight doesn’t mean you’re unappealing or less attractive, so stop it. In fact, if you check Adult FriendFinder right now, you’ll find thousands of people whose profiles make it quite clear they prefer bodies carrying a few extra pounds. There are many people out there who proudly consider themselves Chubby Chasers or Big Beautiful Women (BBW) lovers, and that number hasn’t dwindled one bit since the coronavirus first hit. One of the great joys of meeting millions of open-minded adults online is that all colors, ethnicities, body types, genders, and lifestyles are welcome. That inclusivity extends far beyond your bathroom scale, and on a much grander scale, it means you can be yourself no matter what your weight or what kinks you’re into. As long as you’re willing to be honest, you’ll find people who are attracted to you and share the same mindset about sex.

Yeah, But What If I Feel Worse About My Weight?

That’s a different thing entirely. When we take a more introspective look at ourselves, there are always things that each of us wants to change or improve. Weight is hardly the only thing people want to alter. Some feel a need to learn a new language, while others feel confined by the cisgender paradigm. Some may like to shed the restrictions of monogamy or wish to explore another side of themselves as they accept their own bi-curious identity. Weight is no more or less important than all these other aspects of ourselves, and when it’s your own perspective that’s irking you, that deserves your full attention. Put simply, all of us should do what we need to do to make sure we feel good about ourselves.

There are also some objective benefits to staying fit. Again that’s different from staying a certain weight. Being fit allows your body to consume calories more efficiently, which leads to better cardio (which is a huge advantage in bed) and increased flexibility (which also helps in bed). It can also help you live a longer, healthier life.

Nobody wants to miss a hot date because they have a doctor’s appointment and being in shape is a great way to minimize your time answering questions from your Doc. Even while stuck at home during a shutdown, finding time to go for walks or to do simple at-home exercises can be a massive help to your health.

What If I’m Just Not Into Dad Bods and BBWs? Am I A Monster?!

Preferring a petite pixie of a playmate who barely weighs a hundred pounds doesn’t make you any better or any worse than someone who wants a plus-size playmate he can sink his fingers into. The measure of your character is exactly the same. Are you polite? Do you take the feelings of others into account when you communicate? Are you open, honest, and self-aware enough to accept the same from others if they dislike something physical about your own appearance? Being someone who prefers skinny or heavy or busty or slender people to have sex with doesn’t make you a bad person in any way. It means you’re normal and have preferences just like everyone else. As always, it’s about how we express those preferences and how we share ourselves with others that determines whether we’re adding something positive to the experience.

Isn’t There An Easier Way To Find People Who Fit My Own Criteria?

Instead of just going to a local bar or club and looking around the room hoping to find a match, use your Adult FriendFinder profile to select the characteristics you want in a mate. Filter your search by age, gender, height, weight, and many other niches to quickly filter your dating pool down to only the people who check all your boxes. Keep in mind that others are doing the same, which means that in a very short time, you can be browsing only the profiles of potential mates who have already matched your favorite characteristics while they seek you out as well.

As One Last Note, Keeping Your Profile Current Is The Key

Many aspects of your dating profile are unlikely to change. If you’re 6’4, you aren’t suddenly going to become 5’2 or 7′ any time soon. However, other aspects of your dating profile may change quite a bit from time to time. Things like hair color, weight, or your current location are clear examples. It’s worth checking your own profile regularly to make sure your information is current. Otherwise, you may have that awkward moment of showing up at someone’s door as a redhead when they were really in the mood for the blond you used to be or vice versa.

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Five Tips to Make Your Time in Quarantine A Whole Lot Sexier!

As the worldwide quarantine presses on, many are finding themselves bored, lonely, and horny. While canceled dates and missed opportunities to hook up can be frustrating, all the extra time at home can offer new opportunities to meet and hook up online. Luckily, the tech age has made it easier to connect online and find people looking for safe ways to express themselves sexually. Here are some tips to help you maintain the sexy while also maintaining your distance.

Find New Sexting Partners

Chances are you already know how to do it, so sext away! Exchanging sexy pictures is a great way to pass the time, plus it gives you something to look forward to while you’re stuck indoors with not much else to do. You can always use more traditional methods like texting and social media, but adult dating sites like Adult FriendFinder are better for a few reasons. Since you and your potential sexting partners are both on a sex site, you don’t have to worry about them being offended when you ask to exchange nudes. It also allows you to receive photos more discreetly since you don’t have to worry about steamy messages and pictures popping up while you’re sharing your screen during an important work call.

 Sexy Online Chat

Most dating sites offer live chat options so members can exchange steamy messages with new people. This is great if you find someone you’re interested in, but aren’t entirely comfortable giving them your phone number just yet. You can chat one-on-one or even try group chat rooms if you’re still exploring your options. Either way, you know you can be yourself because the people you encounter are all there for the same reason you are – because they love sex! If you feel like you need an icebreaker to get started, try some theme adult chat rooms like Bisexuals Playground, The Rough Sex Room, Couples Couch, and Dream’s Taboo for You.

Webcam and Chill

A lot of mainstream dating sites offer virtual date features to help members connect face-to-face. This works out great for those who just want to sip wine and have a friendly chat, but you might be looking for sexier exchanges that most mainstream dating sites don’t allow. Adult dating sites give you the ability to have live, one-on-one webcam sex with other members. It works pretty much the same way, except you don’t have to worry about people freaking out if you’re nude because that’s what everyone is here for! You can start slow by watching other member’s webcams, then work your way up to appearing on camera. You can broadcast a sexy show to a room full of friends or interact privately with one other person or couple. Either way, it’s a great way to feel sexy and act out some of your hottest fantasies with a captive audience.

Interactive Toys

Have you ever heard the term “Teledildonics?” It may sound a little scary at first, but it can really help you get through this quarantine if you need something a little more physical to get off! This refers to interactive sex toys you can use to have sexual experiences with long-distance partners. That means you can satisfy each other whether you’re in a different room, state, or even country! The WeVibe Jive toy, for example, can be inserted vaginally or anally and controlled remotely by a partner from another location. You can get also get compatible male and female toys that can be synced up for a mutually satisfying time.

Erotic stories

Some stories are just too hot to keep to yourself, so take advantage of all the extra time on your hands and write some erotica. It can be based on real-life experience or one of your hottest fantasies; your readers will love it either way. Share your stories with lovers, friends, or even on forums like AFF erotic stories where members post about some of their hottest fantasies and real-life experiences. Who knows, you could become the next big sex blogger!

Are you ready to make your time in self-isolation a whole lot sexier? Create a free Adult FriendFinder account now! 

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Seven Key Things to Know When Dating a Transgendered Person

Dating a transgender person can be a new and rewarding experience. More and more people are concluding that what you have or even had in your pants doesn’t matter as much as the person you are inside. In this new age of discovery and self-reflection, it is becoming less taboo to date or be a transgender person. Here are some tips and tricks for successful transdating.

Everyone Has Genitals, Stop Talking About Them

There is an unusual obsession with what a trans person has in their pants. Unless your partner wants to talk about it, keep the talk about genitals private or in the bedroom. Get to know the special lady or man you want to date instead. They have feelings and lives, they have likes and dislikes and accomplishments. Ask about all of that before you ask them if they have had surgery, or if they want to have surgery. This conversation can happen naturally, and it is not usually the first thing a trans person wants to discuss on a date.

Be Sincere in Your Compliments

Complimenting someone is always nice, but always be sincere in your compliments and be careful about being backhanded. What is a backhanded compliment? “You look great for a trans person,” “You really pass as a woman,” and “No one could ever tell you are trans,” may sound ok, but they can be hurtful. People who are transitioning are a woman or a man, whatever gender they are wanting to appear as and transition too. You do not need to bring up that they are transgender unless they want to talk about it specifically. Be kind and try things like:

  • You look great tonight!
  • That dress looks amazing on you

Complimenting someone can be simple as long as you remember that they are people too.

Avoid Trans Myths

There are a lot of myths about trans people’s sexuality. One of the biggest myths is that trans women are transitioning to date men. This isn’t always the case. Some trans women were gay before they transitioned and are still attracted to men. This does not mean that they transitioned to trick them or be “traps.” A lot of trans women were also attracted to women and still are. This means that they identify as bisexual or lesbian. Being women now and always feeling like women, their sexuality is not something that changes. Some women are attracted to women and some women are attracted to men. Either way, their gender orientation doesn’t change their sexual orientation.

Your Sexuality Doesn’t Have to Change

When talking about sexuality and gender, especially when it comes to transdating, people assume that if you date a trans person as a man you are gay. This is not the case. Sexuality is whether you are attracted to the binary, men and women, or in-between identities like non-binary folks, gender fluid, etc. Dating a trans person doesn’t necessarily mean you are bisexual or questioning your sexuality. Dating a trans woman means you are attracted to women and can still identify as straight. Dating a trans man as a woman means you are attracted to men and can still be straight.

Porn is Great, But Don’t Use It as A Guide

Porn is fantastic. It can be used as a way to explore your fantasies and engage in things you normally would not. Check out trans porn and find some hot trans porn stars but do not let it be your guide on how sex has to go or should go with your trans date. Porn is oftentimes exaggerated and there are a lot of things that just normally wouldn’t happen on a real date. If you want to try out some fetish trans stuff, talk to your potential partner first. Know what you want and communicate that.

Communication is Key

There are a lot of trans people that want to date and others who do not mind being fetishized. Always be honest and kind when you want to date or even just have sex with a trans person. Use this advice for any person that you could have a fetish for as well. Trans people are not here just for your pleasure, but they do like to get pleasure too! Be honest and open about what you are looking for before trying to chat anyone up. Are you looking for dates? Just trying it out? Do you have a fetish? All these things are great starting points to think about and knowing the answers will make your exploration easier.

AFF Trans Community and Education

There is an amazing community on Adult FriendFinder full of trans singles that want to date, chat, give advice, and more. Signing up and logging in to AFF can open a whole new world of knowledge and possibilities. Ask transgender people questions and strike up conversations. There are trans people that want to date and there are others that just want to have sex and everything in between. If you do not want to ask strangers questions right away there are blogs written by TS Dating enthusiasts and others who date trans people. These can be stories of dates and how they went, advice, and more topics.

Before getting started, make sure you have all the information you need to make transdating a successful adventure. The bottom line is, trans people are people. They want to have fun and get to know others, date, and have sex. Joining Adult FriendFinder allows you to meet trans people, start TS dating today and become part of an open-minded community where you can learn and teach others.

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Eight Tips to Attract Hotter Women With Your Online Dating Profile

Adult FriendFinder has been bringing sexy people together with their fantasy partners for over two decades. There are many incredibly sexual women and men on the site and they are all looking for casual fun, love, or dating. In order to increase your chances of attracting one of these hotties, you’ll want to put your best foot forward. Follow these online dating tips to attract hot men and women on your favorite dating websites.

1. Don’t make assumptions

Just because a woman is on the site doesn’t mean she’ll have sex with you, and the same thing goes with men. Get to know the people you’re interested in, and treat them with respect and dignity. Each person has different sex preferences and you might be just what the person you’re attracted to is looking for, but you’ll never know unless you ask first.

2. Take time on your dating profile pics

Successful dating and casual sex can start with investing a little bit of time into your pictures. The pictures on your dating profile are often one of the first things people look at when they visit any online dating site. Pick a few images you want to represent you, and have a few of your friends look at them and give their thoughts. Select a recent picture that represents your personality and your interests. Giving an honest presentation of both you and your looks is important.  People are interested in a wide variety of body types, personalities, and hair colors, so don’t think you need old pictures and filters to attract a date. You are most definitely someone’s cup of tea!

3. Take time on your dating profile text

Your dating profile text is a window into your personality, desires, and wants. In order to attract hot men and women, you’ll be best served to be honest and come up with a few interesting things about your life. Anything from knitting to Marvel movies, riding bicycles, traveling, Netflix, and more, can be one of the things that sparks conversation between you and an interested party. Sometimes the initial conversation is the most challenging part of getting to know new people, and on online dating websites the opportunity to send out lots of personal messages can be easier than trying to start conversations in places like bars and clubs.

4. Take some risks

A well thought out and well-worded message can make a huge impact. If you join a casual sex dating website and are enamored by a woman or man with a hot body, go ahead and send them a message. If the point of the site is getting hookups, know that many people love compliments about their pictures. Mix this information in with a few sentences that prove you’ve read their profile and learned a little about them. Ask a question or two in the conversation as well and you’ll increase the likelihood of a response.

5. Focus on the things you have in common

In any dating situation, it’s the things people have in common that tend to draw them together initially. This can include hobbies, sports, politics, and many other things. Many people tend to avoid politics, but on casual sex websites sometimes politics are mentioned in the profile. If you come across someone with similar political beliefs, feel free to send them a message about it. If you come across someone with opposing political views, you may want to steer clear. The choice is yours though, as sometimes people of differing political beliefs actually do very well together. When it comes to casual sex, two people can also choose not to talk about things like politics or religion and just focus on the sex.

6. Be yourself

People are attracted to many different things, and people who choose to be themselves are more likely to find casual sex matches. Finding casual sex matches is kind of the point of hookup websites, so you should try to increase the likelihood that it happens.

7. Be positive

There may be quite a few negative things happening in anyone’s life at a given point in time. When it comes to casual sex, however, many people are looking for something to take them away from the real world. By staying positive and focusing on the joys in your life and in general, positive feelings will be more likely to stay at the forefront. This means more casual sex, and better casual sex as well.

8. Don’t wait too long to ask to meet

Meeting people in person can be quite nerve-racking. There are plenty of things that prevent people from sending a message suggesting to meet. Most of the time people either ask too soon, or wait too long to ask. When you find someone on a dating website, if you’re having consistent conversation you can ask people to meet in as little as a week or two. Some of this depends on the connections you make, because if you have an intense connection right away it might make sense to bring up meeting earlier. For most people, it will take a little bit of time for them to want to meet someone. An easy way to bring this up is in the first two or three conversations. Ask them if they have ever met someone on the service and if it’s something they might be interested in doing for the right person at some point. It is an open-ended question that allows them to speak their mind and give you some perspective about whether meeting up for casual sex or dating in person might be in the cards.

 

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Online Dating How-to: Break the Ice With Great Conversation

Starting a conversation is often one of the most challenging aspects of online dating, right behind maintaining those conversations and using them to help score more dates. There are many variables when it comes to online dating, and some may find that the people they message don’t respond as promptly as they would like. Sometimes people are just too busy, and sometimes they’re just not interested. Whatever the reason, don’t take things personally. With millions of people using dating websites online, odds are you will find people who click with you and some who don’t.  Here are a few pointers to help you tip the scales in your favor.

Be patient. Send out a lot of messages and don’t be so quick to block those who don’t reply right away — especially if you’ve already had an interaction or two. It’s possible they just got busy with real life and will come back in a week or two when things have calmed down. You don’t want to miss out on great hookups because people can’t always prioritize checking their messages when more important things come up.

While patience is an integral part of the picture, so is putting together messages that people actually want to respond to. Some use pickup lines or messages that just say “hey,” while others will send pictures of their dick. These tactics are annoying to those who are really looking for a connection and often will not garner a response.

Instead, write a well-thought-out note that utilizes the information they have in their dating profile. This lets them know you know that you took the time to read their profile and found them interesting in some way. Touch on an interest they have, make a comment on one of their pictures that is not sex-related, and let them know a little bit about yourself and why you think they’re interesting.

Another key element to getting noticed is including photos and videos that are enticing. Profiles that don’t have pictures are far less likely to get replies, so try to include at least one image to show people you are the real deal. At least one picture of your face is ideal, but acceptations can be made for casual sex dating sites like AdultFriendFinder.com. People on hook-up dating websites may be more hesitant to show their face, and in those cases a body shot will do instead. Whatever image you choose to post, make sure it’s a clear, high-quality photo that shows off your best features. Having a good picture or two on your profile heavily increases your message response rate and therefore increases the chance you’ll find a date.

Also, try to be as consistent as possible.  It’s easy to get into a wonderful conversation, leave it for a few weeks, then come back and wonder why the person isn’t as responsive once you return. If you’re really serious about making a great connection, log in to your online dating accounts every day or two to check messages and respond. Even if you just check in to say you’re having a busy day and will write a longer response when you have a moment, it’s still better than no response because it shows the other person know you’re willing to take 30 seconds out of your day to give them an update. Not only is this great for maintaining conversations, but it’s also attractive because it lets people know you can follow through on dates and notes. This tends to put you a step above those who aren’t paying attention to their dating accounts as much.

Maintaining conversations can seem to be a little bit difficult at times, but try to find a balance between talking about yourself and asking about the other person. Think of it as a normal conversation, translated into text. If they respond with a question about your interests, go ahead and answer that question and follow it up with a question about their interests, or ask their thoughts about what you just said. The latest television show, the season in your area, and general activities you enjoy are all great ice breakers. Try to stay away from upcoming local events during the “get to know me” phase though so as not to give out too much information on places they can find you. Remember, you are still in the vetting process.

Finding a way to relate to the person you’re interested in can really help you land the date you’re after, so take the time to read profiles and make thoughtful comments about them. Even if you’re just looking for casual sex, don’t make it the main focus of the conversation. Be clear about what you want, but don’t be too blunt about it either. Try to warm them up by asking if they’ve found any great connections on the site yet, or keep it simple and ask how their day is going.

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How to Loosen Up Without Getting Tipsy On a First Date


Clubs and bars have always been popular places to meet people, mainly because having a drink or two can help lower inhibitions and make talking to strangers a little easier. With online dating sites, you’ve already made the effort to talk to potential dates before going out, so the bigger question is where to meet up for that first face-to-face encounter.  

If you choose to meet at a bar — or any other place that serves alcohol – you’ll be best served to limit your alcohol intake for a variety of reasons. Here are two dating stories that have been passed along to us that spell out some of the reasons that drinking too much on a first date can be a bad idea.

Cautionary Tale #1 – Joe and Marisa

My name is Joe, and I saw you were asking for stories from people about experiences drinking too much on a date. It was around four years ago where I learned my lesson about drinking too much on a date. I’d been talking with a woman online for about three months and was extremely interested in dating her. I hadn’t gotten around to asking her out on a date yet, mostly because I was nervous. When I finally did, we decided that going to a bar for karaoke was a fantastic idea. We both enjoyed karaoke when we were younger and figured that it would be great to reminisce, share stories, and sing some tunes.

Unfortunately, the experience didn’t turn out how I would’ve liked. The night started out great with us getting food at the bar before the karaoke host showed up. Sharing stories about our past karaoke experiences was fun and the food was pretty good too. We had both ordered our first drink of the night with dinner, and when the karaoke host arrived, we took the book and started chatting about our favorite musical artists and what songs we used to sing. I had prepared a song that I had never sung before because I was excited about going to karaoke and wanted something a little more recent. We put our songs in and both did a fantastic job singing our first one. We ordered another drink when karaoke started, and took a shot after we completed our first songs. We put more songs in, took more shots, and ordered more drinks.

Unfortunately, after I sang my second song I started feeling a bit sick. The last thing I remember is going into the bathroom and throwing up. I didn’t get anything on me, I remember that much, but what I don’t remember is the rest of the night. I sent her a note the following day and even though we had a fantastic time early in our date, I never heard from her again. Maybe it’s because her time at the end of the night wasn’t that great. It’s hard to say when you can’t even remember the entire second half of the night. She was a sexy woman and I missed my chance. It’s on my list of dating mistakes to avoid in the future for sure.

Cautionary Tale #2 – Double Date Surprise, Billy and Maddie

Billy and I had an online relationship that started with us meeting on an online dating website where we had been chatting for a good two months before planning our first date. One of my best friends suggested going on a double date and I thought it was a great idea since safety is always a priority when meeting people from the internet for the first time. We decided to keep it simple with dinner and a movie and picked a local steakhouse that was about 15 minutes away from the movie theater. It was opening weekend for a film we all wanted to see, “The Avengers.” As you can probably remember, there was a lot of hype surrounding the film and everybody wanted to see it. Being that it was opening weekend, we bought our tickets in advance and made reservations for 2 1/2 hours before the show to make sure that we had plenty of time to get there and find good seats. I spent at least an hour getting ready for a date for the first time in years.

My friend, her boyfriend, and I got to the restaurant about 10 minutes before we were slated to be seated. About two minutes after we sat down, Billy arrived. I was excited to see I was getting a hot date in every sense of the word, as he was well-dressed and had an amazing smile. My friend looked at me and smiled; we both knew it was going to be a fantastic date night. Or so we thought. Billy started with a drink, and then ordered another one when the appetizers arrived. Over the course of our meal he had four drinks, and since we still had some time left after dinner he decided to grab one more drink before heading to the movie theater. As he was finishing his last drink, Billy’s speech started slurring as the alcohol kicked in. He started feeling queasy and mentioned that he had a headache. A lot of the conversation on the date was great, but he ultimately decided that he was not in a good position to head to the movies. We ordered him an Uber and waited for it to arrive, and he went home. I guess the positive in this is that we were still able to get great seats to see the movie, which was fantastic. Since it came out, the three of us who actually made it there have seen pretty much every Marvel movie together.

It’s a shame that I was successful in getting a hot date only to have it ruined because he decided to drink so much. I guess I prefer people who know how much they can drink and are responsible; I learned a little bit about myself too I suppose.

Final Notes

Professionals recommend that people limit themselves to two drinks over the course of a date in the first two hours, and one drink every two hours after that if the date continues. The idea is to make sure you can keep up with digesting the alcohol, can drive safely to your next point, and are of sound judgment on your date. If you have a lower tolerance, drink less. If you have a higher tolerance, do not drink more. Get dates that are amazing and be smart. This can lead to second dates, which is a huge goal for online dating site members. Take advantage of these tips, and learn from these stories; drinking too much on a date is simply a bad choice!

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Three Things to Avoid When Sex Dating

There’s nothing in the world quite like making just the right connection when online dating. It’s like that feeling Marshawn Lynch had after the Seahawks smeared the San Francisco 49ers. (Too soon?)

It’s that feeling. Times ten.

But when you’re struggling to make those connections in the sex dating scene, it’s like the feeling the Niners had after that same playoff game. (Too soon?)

Like many things in life, success in online dating can depend drastically on the individual. Some people take to it like a duck to water. For others, it’s not as intuitive, and doesn’t seem to hold many advantages over different ways to hook up with people.

At sites like Adult FriendFinder, it’s easy to find success stories. EPIC success stories, across all genders (including non-binary) and sexual preferences. Hell, the Colonel himself can tell you tales that you would swear could not occur in the natural world. Tales of human debauchery that defy the laws of man. Tales that would turn a religious man to the bottle, and send a godless heathen running to sweet baby Jesus.

And sometimes all you need to make connections at sex dating is one little victory.

So how do you know if you’re doing it wrong? Well, obviously, you do a little research by smelling what the Colonel is cooking and observing some very basic tips. (I promise, just the tip … )

Here are some massive fails that will guarantee that all you’ll be doing this weekend is catching up on WWE and whittling your wood until it turns into Pinocchio, becomes a real boy, and goes out and gets some hot sex action.

  1. For the Last Time, No Dick Pics!

I mean, really. Do we have to have this conversation? Judging by the penile polaroids that flood my female friends’ inboxes … yes.

I know your weenus is special to you. You’ve had it all your life. It’s always there for you, regardless of the incessant ebb and flow of circumstances beyond your control, or even your mortal ken. Your weenus understands you, and you understand it. It’s your special purpose, after all.

But listen to me. Please. Put that thing away for now.

I don’t care if it’s the size of a tire iron.

I don’t care if you can hold it up to a beer can and not suffer in the comparison.

I don’t care if your mom told you that it was the greatest pee-pee God ever bestowed betwixt a pair of hairy legs.

I don’t care if you dress it up to look like Alexander Hamilton and teach it how to sing.

Put it away.

I’m not saying that hooking up in an online dating app with someone who will respond to a dick pic increases your likelihood of getting critters so ornery that the people at the free clinic will think you’ve opened up a Joe’s Crab Shack in your pants. It just puts you in a higher risk bracket.

So why not show people your face? Like Rocky told Clubber Lang, “Ain’t so bad.”

  1. No means no. From soup to nuts.

If you bring a gamer attitude to sex dating, you will not succeed. This is not the comments section of your favorite YouTube video. When you join an online dating community, you are literally making a social compact that assumes everyone here is here for the same reason – hookups and relationships.

And why would you act hostile or get into an argument with someone who is just here to do the same thing you are? When you don’t move on after someone uses their right to not communicate with you (a right I’m sure YOU use all the time), it makes you look like a weak, petulant child.

If you don’t feel like acting like a grown-ass man, why should you get the benefits of being one?

Grow the fuck up, or spend your days stacking up terabytes of tentacle porn. (Editor’s Note: Colonel Lingus has no issue with tentacle porn; it’s just his position that it is a poor substitute for the touch of another human being. Unless you’re Krieger from ‘Archer.’)

  1. Don’t Be Afraid to Jump in the Water. Be Like Barbecue Sauce … Bold.

Once you’ve sufficiently mastered No. 2 on our list, it’s good to project strength and security by not being afraid to move the process to the next level, if your target does not.

Research has shown that often women who are using an online dating app or service often are looking for someone who goes for what they want in life. If that’s not you, it’s time to fake it till you make it. Just sayin’.

Suggest a meetup tailored to this specific person. Sometimes this can mean an early evening coffee, sometimes it’s the last stool at your local dive bar sometime ‘round midnight. Remember that everyone is different, just as you’re not the same as everyone else.

If you follow these tips, you’ll go far to making connections and having lots and lots of sex!