For some, cuckolding is about a hot wife that has many male lovers outside of her loving relationship. For others, it’s about roleplay. Sometimes it’s about watching another person get it on with their partner. Those who like to walk on the wild side can also incorporate kink and BDSM into the cuckolding experience.
Thus far, we’ve covered what cuckolding is, as well as some advanced techniques for those already in the lifestyle. In this beginner’s guide to cuckolding, we will cover the basics for those who are curious but haven’t taken the plunge yet.
What is Cuckolding?
In general terms, cuckolding is when a woman engages in sex with someone other than her husband with his approval and consent. Sometimes the husband watches, and sometimes he doesn’t, but either way, he enjoys his wife being taken by a more dominant male, referred to as the bull.
There are a few different forms of cuckolding, though most people do either couples cuckolding or BDSM cuckolding, which sometimes involves roleplay humiliation. Cuckolding can happen when the male partner or cuck watches, though some people also use the term to describe one partner going out and fucking another person while the other partner knows about it and stays home. This can include BDSM roleplay, sexual activity after the person returns home, roleplay humiliation, and more.
People who cuckold can also be considered polyamorous, though not always as often the bull is not a part of the primary relationship.
Is Cuckolding Cheating?
Though cuckolding involves sex with someone other than your spouse, it has a distinct element of consent and communication. Couples and play partners often talk about the experience in advance, though the rules might be a little laxer in swinger communities and at sex parties. Following the agreed-upon boundaries, limits, and philosophy makes it not cheating.
Consent and conversation are the two main parts of cuckolding, keeping in mind that cuckolding can be cheating if done without consent.
Bringing Cuckolding Up To Your Partner
Starting a conversation about cuckolding with your partner involves tact, respect, and knowledge. First, research cuckolding and have a good idea of what you’re looking for and why you’re interested. After you have a good idea of what you’re looking for, bring up the conversation casually and respectfully. Try to avoid moments or times that are particularly busy.
Bringing cuckolding up as a casual joke in passing can be a fantastic way to put the thought in somebody’s mind. Then, approach the person at a later point, letting them know that you’ve been thinking about it and that it might be something you would be open to. Gauge how the conversation is going and continue the discussion. If either person wants to do more research or take some time to learn more on their own, that’s okay. Being open, nonjudgmental, and tactful is essential for bringing up new sexual activities to your partner. Remember to respect your partner’s limits and boundaries, regardless of whether they’re interested in cuckolding or not. Also, keep in mind that there are live cam shows on Adult FriendFinder where you can explore cuckolding fantasies from the comfort of your home, without direct involvement from your partner.
What Happens After The Yes?
After your partner says “yes,” have a serious talk and set guidelines for each other. If you have boundaries and limits, talk about those as well. Each of these things takes research and introspection. Also, keep in mind that the idea of cuckolding is fluid. As time goes on, people may need to adjust their needs, wants, desires, boundaries, and limits. Solid communication is key to having a successful cuckolding relationship.
Sometimes couples go through some drastic changes initially. Sometimes people have feelings of withdrawal, fear, or excitement. Many people describe the start of their cuckolding adventure as a roller coaster of emotions. That’s why it’s important to iron out the details and figure out how you and your partner will approach people beforehand. If you and your partner are not on the same page, it can turn people off to cuckolding with you and make it very difficult to find the right bull for your situation.
Planning Your First Cuckolding Date
Understanding the different types of cuckolding is essential, as it helps couples figure out how they should go about planning their first date. If your partner is leaning towards a couples cuckolding experience, each meeting is most often short-term. In many cases, the woman will not need her partner to choose the male. Instead, the focus is on physical enjoyment, and possible first dates may involve meeting for sex instead of meeting for drinks.
People looking for this type of sex should consider birth control, STI tests, and conversations about needs, wants, and expectations. Keep in mind that consent can be revoked at any time, and while many cuckold experiences in this category are one-time things, some people have regulars that they love to cuckold with.
For people who are more interested in the BDSM version of cuckolding, take note that it may take a little bit more time and involvement to find the right match. There are also limits and boundaries to discuss, including comfort levels with roleplay humiliation, domination, and other types of involvement the cuckold could have. Will they just be watching? Is it okay if they masturbate well? What happens after the date? Are other elements of kink in BDSM acceptable during the session?
Top Places To Find Cuckolds
Use resources like Adult FriendFinder to vet potential bulls, and keep in mind that these arrangements can take a little longer to come together sometimes because every person involved has some input. You may also have friends or casual acquaintances you’re interested in. However, keep in mind that there’s a risk that you may complicate your relationship with this person after the cuckolding experience.
If you’re looking for variety, attend local swinger and BDSM events, letting it happen naturally by giving one person a “hall pass.”
No matter how you approach it, just be sure to have fun. Good luck!
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