Everyone has one. A shoebox under the bed, a bed stand drawer, or perhaps a massive room most houseguests aren’t allowed to see.
If you don’t have a drawer full of kinky goodies hiding somewhere but get excited at the thought of having all the sexy delights you can handle at your fingertips, then now is as good a time as any to get started.
Stocking your kink drawer can be almost as fun as putting your gear to use with your favorite playmates. So let’s look at what every kinkster should have on hand, plus some less known devices that might amp up your creativity the next time you decide to meet up with a like-minded partner for roleplay!
1 – Cuffs
Cuffs and restraints are a must-have item for even the most vanilla bedroom. Why? With over half the population having some fantasy about being restrained or wanting to restrain a sex partner, it’s a very common way to play.
There are plenty of options for the beginner to become more experienced. If you’ve never tried cuffs before, opt for a pair with fluffy liners and softer materials. The idea here is to keep hands, or maybe ankles restricted, but not necessarily in a painful way.
As a novice, you’ll want to choose cuffs with big, easy-to-use buckles to start. Sure, it may seem too easy to get out of, but once your hands are covered in lube, you’ll be thankful you went with ease-of-use over there-is-no-way-they-can escape. Also, at least at the start, it’s much more about the feeling of being restricted than being completely unable to free oneself.
Are you feeling a little more adventurous after gaining some experience? Select a tougher material or something that appeals to the fetishist inside you. Leather, rubber, and metal are all available at various price points, with metal being the most expensive. Again, make sure that whatever closing mechanism you choose is simple to use.
If you don’t want to invest in hardware because you have company often or share space, look at something simple like bondage tape. It’s cheap, disposable, and looks like a regular roll of tape when being stored if someone else discovers it in your home. It also won’t hurt the skin coming off.
One important warning for anyone just starting to experiment with cuffs: avoid using police handcuffs or anything with a similar adjustable closing system. You can cause real injury by misusing them, as they’re intended for locking down violent criminals, not for submissives who are desperately seeking orgasm permission from you.
2 – Blindfolds
Like cuffs, blindfolds are a solid mainstay in the toy chest. Sensory deprivation can be a sexy way to heighten sensitivity because they can’t see what you’re doing or what will happen next. Just remember to start slow if you’ve never tried it. For some people, it can be disorienting and may cause anxiety, so as with any kink play, always have a safe word ready ahead of time.
Blindfolds come in various shapes, sizes, and materials, including BDSM-lite fluffy fabrics or leather. A step above standard blindfolds are hoods and masks. These cover the whole head and may include a mouth hole. Low-end hoods are made from Lycra and may or may not have additional layers over the eyes. Once again, listen to your partner and use a safe word when you start experimenting.
3 – Electric Wands
Available in various styles, Shock Play has gained a lot of popularity recently after a wave of videos on kinky porn sites made the practice popular.
Many low-voltage wands provide just enough pop to earn your partner’s full attention. Be sure you and your partner are healthy enough to engage in kinky sex before trying these devices. Consulting your doctor is always a good idea, especially if you have a pacemaker or other medical device that could be affected.
From a quick orgasm to extensive edging sessions, an electric wand is an incredibly fun toy to play with, and it provides a much more elegant solution for sub-training sessions than a crop or whip ever would. No mess, no marks… just the joy of knowing you hold the ability to focus their attention any time you like, right in the palm of your hand.
4 – Clamps
Your next step down the kink path is clamps. A clamp is what it sounds like, a mechanism that lets you apply pressure to something. Nipple clamps are the most common kind of sex clamp. They may be the screw type or use springs. Either way, clip them over the nipple and gently let the pressure build up.
The screw type is probably the best bet for beginners as it lets you keep the pressure adjusted to a tolerable level. While they cost a little more than the regular spring-loaded clamp, you’re more likely to have some success when the pain can be controlled.
Important safety tip: Makeshift devices like clothespins aren’t a great way to start because they lack the sort of fine-tuning control that real clamps allow. Go with real clamps from a sex toy store, and you’ll be glad you did.
For the adventurous, there are also genital clamps available that use similar mechanisms but come in different sizes and configurations to clamp the specific body part. For example, labia clamps usually come with four clamps and chains to help keep the lips spread open.
5 – Lube
An often overlooked but critical part of your toy chest is lube. There are many types of lube available, but they all do the same thing. So whether you’re embarking on a marathon sex session, using toys, or trying to put new things inside your partner’s orifices, lube is the key to a successful and pleasurable evening without the risk of friction burns and unnecessary discomfort.
There are several different types of lube available, and each has its uses. You may stick with one type or have a variety depending on your desires.
Oil Based Lubes – A scented oil-based lube can be used for sensual massages that will help get your lover in the mood and can also be used to help the orifice of your choice prepare for penetration. Oil lubes are great because they don’t get sticky or lose effectiveness. However, they may degrade latex toys and condoms, so they are usually not great for insertion.
Water-Based Lubes – Won’t stain your sheets, won’t damage your toys, washes off easily but doesn’t last as long as other lube types. Very kind to the skin but get a big bottle because you’ll need to reapply often.
Silicon-Based Lubes – Gentle on your skin and hypoallergenic, so it might be a great choice for sensitive partners. It lasts longer than water-based lubes but may degrade silicone toys and make them less sanitary over time. A good choice for skin-to-skin play but not the best for solo toy adventures.
6 – First Aid Kit
While it may not seem like an obvious item to add, just ask any experienced kinkster what they’d bring on their dirty desert island getaway, and they will tell you that a first aid kit is always at the top of their list. That includes a fully charged phone if you need to call an EMT, standard things like band-aids and salves, and other items like calm music for aftercare.
Sure, you will follow the advice other people have given you and have safe words and gestures pre-planned before you start playing with BDSM, but accidents can happen. Let’s face it, two people going at it and rolling around can run even a small risk of a minor muscle pull. Or, if you’re really out of practice, a not so minor one. Once you start playing in the kink arena, those small risks may include the odd bruise or abrasion.
You don’t need anything more than the basics, some antiseptic cream, band-aids, alcohol wipes, etc., but just be sure you have them easily accessible and know where they are ahead of time just in case.
7 – Your Imagination
Most importantly, have an active open imagination and do some planning ahead. The best toy drawer in the world is still completely dependent on its owner to turn inanimate objects into amazing tools of sexual satisfaction!
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